toilet Archives - VICE https://www.vice.com/en/tag/toilet/ Mon, 16 Sep 2024 20:21:35 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.2 https://www.vice.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/06/cropped-site-icon-1.png?w=32 toilet Archives - VICE https://www.vice.com/en/tag/toilet/ 32 32 233712258 Guys Who Sit Down to Pee: Why? https://www.vice.com/en/article/men-who-sit-down-to-pee/ Fri, 27 Oct 2023 14:57:01 +0000 https://www.vice.com/en/article/men-who-sit-down-to-pee/ If you're a cis man in America or Britain, you're more likely to stand than sit. Apparently, though, sitting has some actual health benefits.

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Before we start, it’s worth saying there’s nothing wrong with the occasional lovely sit down and a wee with a bit of content on your phone. A ‘posh piss’ let’s call it. Sometimes you’re a bit fucked; sometimes it’s a shy bladder; sometimes you need time away from whatever’s on the outside of that bathroom door. Married men may wish to linger, for example, and many trans guys sit out of necessity, not choice. But that doesn’t mean it’s a popular move across the globe. Quite the reverse.

According to a recent YouGov survey, on sitting and standing, it turns out there’s massive variance between countries. Of the 13 countries polled, Germany came out on top for sitting down. Forty percent of men say they sit down to pee “every time”, and 22 percent sit “most times”. Only 10 percent say they never sit. Sweden comes second in Europe, with 50 percent of men saying they sit down all or most of the time. 

Compare this with Britain, where only nine percent sit “every time”, and 15 percent sit “most times”. Thirty-three percent say they never do it. Because of course we don’t. The US were only marginally more pro sitting than the UK, with 46 percent of men sitting some, most, or all of the time. Thirty-one percent say they never do. Of the 13 nations, only Poland and Mexico are more sit-phobic than Brits. It’s worth remembering too that men might be less reliable in self-reporting their tendency to sit.

It’s a fairly loaded topic, and there’s quite a lot to unpack. So I tracked down a proud British stander upper to gain further insight.

“Why have a urinal if you don’t intend to use it?” 28-year-old London-based engineer Wilson – not his real name – says. “Then there’s the environmental considerations: Every time you pee in a toilet, you’re more likely to flush it to prevent the stagnation of piss – that doesn’t happen in urinals. You waste unnecessary water.”

“I don’t always want someone to think I’m shitting,” Wilson continues. “Work toilets are particularly bad for this, nobody says it but it can be embarrassing for some people being caught walking out of a cubicle because the pretence is that they have shat.”

“Also, you gotta pick your spots – train toilets no, club toilets no, curry house toilets no.”

On top of that, there’s the implied shame coming from the fairer sex: Three women – including the author’s partner, in one particularly fraught exchange – told me that the thought of a guy they’re seeing predominantly sitting down to pee was “a bit of an ick”. And yet in 2014, researchers at Leiden University Medical Center found that sitting down has its medical benefits.

Guys can empty their bladder quicker and more fully if they sit, which can be beneficial if your prostate is enlarged prostate, or if you have urinary tract issues. But the benefits are basically confined to men with those specific problems.

There’s also the respite sitting down and actually taking a pause brings, which might provide mental health benefits. Sometimes fellas are just plain tired, too. Some even have urinal phobia.

The feminist take might be that sitting down is more respectful to women, whereas some men may feel sitting down would present an unnecessary feminisation and domestication. Just another dagger in the enlarged prostate of traditional masculinity. 

I managed to chat to some German pee-sitting men to shed a bit of light on the YouGov data. Collectively, these guys are known as “sitzpinklers” in Germany, which from the off says something mildly feminizing about how German society sees them, despite sitzpinklers being in the majority, which is a bit weird.

“I find it more hygienic to sit down peeing if there is no urinal,” one 36-year-old man from Berlin says. “Anyone who’s peed into a low toilet bowl while standing and felt some droplets on their shin knows what I’m talking about. It’s also just a nice opportunity to sit down, relax, and enjoy the moment.”

Is there anything specific to Germany that might explain why men are more likely to sit there than elsewhere? 

“I’m not exactly sure,” he says. “But especially in Berlin, you can see many restaurants and bars with stickers in their restrooms requesting people to sit down. Someone started it, and then it somehow spread and we became a country of “Sitzpinkler“, I guess…”

There’s also the hygiene angle: Tadd Truscott, an American professor of mechanical engineering, told the Guardian that tiny piss droplets can travel a couple of metres and basically spray the whole of your bathroom, including your toothbrushes.

“I always try to sit first,” Patrick, a 37-year-old project manager from Berlin says. “If the toilet is very dirty and there is only one, I quit. But sitting is simply more relaxed, even when peeing.”

“You also have two hands-free with which you can read a newspaper or use a phone,” Patrick says. “It is also a question of respect. Some people have to sit and when I stand there is always the risk of something going wrong.”

“I think it’s 50/50 (percentage of men who sit) and several men probably sit more often than they admit,” Patrick says. “Standing may still give them a feeling of power, but things may be different at home.”

So it seems pissing is a tricky business at times, and the way you do it as a guy seems to hinge on all sorts of personal, hygiene and socio-politcal issues specific to the culture and the pisser. Who’s to say what the right thing to do is? You just have to find what works for you, I guess. At least you have the choice.

Because I mean, they kind of don’t in Germany. There, they even have a device called the WC-Geist, or toilet ghost, which goes under the toilet seat and admonishes you to piss sitting down if you lift it up. Sometimes the WC-Geist features a disembodied voice of Angela Merkel, which, yeah. Perhaps that’s the price you pay for living in a fairly progressive society.

Neither German I spoke to knew anything about it, though. “I haven’t found any Angela Merkel ghosts yet,” Patrick says. 

@nichet

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Why Is Shitting Still So Embarrassing? https://www.vice.com/en/article/why-is-shitting-still-so-embarrassing/ Tue, 03 Jan 2023 08:45:00 +0000 https://www.vice.com/en/article/why-is-shitting-still-so-embarrassing/ A serious investigation on the last taboo: poo.

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It’s 9.30PM and you’re at the pub necking espresso martinis, hitting the Elf Bar hard. It’s the perfect recipe for the number two that’s been brewing all day. Your stomach tightens and you clench your butt cheeks, making a beeline for the loos

Then you see it – the unisex toilet sign and a large pair of Salomon trainers visible under the next door cubicle. What if it’s that fittie you were eyeing up earlier? You can’t be seen to be the culprit of the plop, or god forbid the fumes wafting around the bathroom. You accept your fate and stay trapped in the toilet until the coast is clear, praying your mates haven’t left for the club already. 

Seriously, why do we all still find shitting so embarrassing? Much like birth, death and the 24 hours we have in a day (thank you, Molly Mae), it’s one of life’s great levellers. Right this second, approximately 79 million people around the world are doing it, according to Seed Health, a microbial sciences company based in LA. That’s a lot of shit.

But when it comes to actually acknowledging the stuff, people are reluctant to talk about their own poo. It’s the ultimate conspiracy, as if one day the whole human race signed an NDA guaranteeing we will plop as privately as possible.

Slowly, under the cloak of anonymity, people come forward to tell me that, yes, they find pooing pretty mortifying. I ask them, why? “Pooing destroys the ego – it strips you bare,” says Jasper, 27, who’s asked to remain anonymous like others in this piece. “It’s disgusting, smelly and unhygienic. You can be as charming as you want, but if people hear you taking a shit, it rips all of that away.”

Lottie, 26, agrees. “It’s sticky, mushy and the smell can be horrible. You can tell by the sounds if someone is doing a big one, or small pellets if they haven’t been eating their greens. It’s just a bit cringe,” she says. 

It’s clear we’re all pretty anal about who hears our plops. Some use a method the New York Times calls “The Poop Dupe”; pivoting to the mirror to check your hair after seeing a colleague in the bathroom. Another tried and tested method is The Flush Hush: continuously flushing the toilet to drown out any sound. 

For times when toilets are alarmingly close to each other, Danni, 26, has developed a method we’re calling The Poop Pillow. She tells me it involves wrapping mounds of toilet roll round your hand and holding it under your bum. “I catch the poo and slow it from hitting the water, so there isn’t a sound,” she says. When Danni needs a poo at her boyfriend’s house, she speaks in a baby voice to make it sound cute. “I’m like, ‘Don’t mind me, I’m just off to do an ickle poo poo,’” she lisps down the phone.

The course of true love and shitting never did run smooth. According to research by Healthline, more than 28 percent of men and 22 percent of women say they’d wait between one and three months before pooing at their partner’s place. “One of the worst things is needing a shit during a one night stand. It’s too obvious to go, so you have to hold it in,” says Jasper. “But that makes you need to fart, it’s so uncomfortable – you can’t sleep, you can’t have sex, you just have to lie there.” 

Some go to greater extremes. We all remember that viral story, reported by the BBC in 2017, about the girl who did a massive, unflushable poo on a date and chucked it out the window. In a harrowing turn of events, the poo got lodged between two panes of glass and she got stuck trying to retrieve it – her date even had to call the fire brigade. 

What the hell is wrong with us all? I put the question to Nick Haslam, professor of psychology at the University of Melbourne and author of Psychology in the Bathroom. He explains that, since time immemorial, fecally transmitted infection has been a major source of death. “Contamination is a significant problem, so there are very good reasons to put poo out of sight and out of mind,” he says. 

Our disgust towards poo, he explains, doesn’t fully exist from birth; we acquire it as we grow up. “Part of the toilet training process is to mildly embarrass and shame children who don’t put stuff in the right place… to try to cut down on contamination and sickness,” he says. “There’s shame associated with having poo, or the stench of poo, on you. It goes alongside this other emotion of disgust, which many people say evolved partly to protect us from rot, contamination and excrement. We tend to be ashamed of what disgusts us, and poo is one of those prototypical disgust stimuli.”

Admit it, poo is also kind of funny. Like when you see men queuing to use cubicles rather than urinals in a club, because it’s obvious they need a dump. There’s no reason why this should be amusing, but it just is – or at least it’s fascinating in an I-know-what-you’ve-just-done kind of way. “It’s the same as when someone comes back to the table at the pub after being gone for ages,” says Liz, 26. “Everyone thinks, ‘Ooh, they’ve been for a shit.’”

Liz remembers queuing to see a giant poo that blocked one of the boys toilets when she was in school. “Everyone wanted to see this massive poo, including some teachers,” she says. “It was huge and stretched the whole way up the toilet bowl. It’s still the biggest poo I’ve seen.” No one ever owned up to the poo, she says, and the mystery remains: “A boy in my year claimed it was him because he wanted the glory, but we never found out who actually did it.”

That brings us to the gender politics of poo. Why would a man proudly declare he blocked a toilet when Liz, a mere observer of the giant poo, is reluctant to reveal her identity? Generally, women seem to be more embarrassed about pooing. In a national survey of more than 1,000 Canadian women, 71 percent said they go to great lengths to avoid defecating, especially in a public washroom. Yet I’ve heard stories of boys texting their friends pictures of their finest dumps.

“The idea that femininity is incompatible with excretion is very widespread, and there’s no single answer,” says Haslam. “You can think of it in terms of a double standard of hygiene, but there’s probably a difference in sensitivity as well.” You could also argue, he adds, that certain types of masculinity are about “deliberately flouting norms of what’s proper” – which might explain why teenage boys are more comfortable with things like toilet humour and farting.

For some people, the shame of pooing becomes so intense it develops into parcopresis or ‘shy bowel syndrome’. This is a familiar story for Hannah, 27, who physically can’t poo in public toilets. “My body can’t relax if I’m not at home. It’s 100 percent a mental thing, the embarrassment of someone hearing terrifies to me,” she says. Her longest poo-free streaks include six days at Glastonbury and four days on holiday. “I took loads of laxatives and that still didn’t work. Then I was super bloated, which wasn’t great for my self esteem at the beach. I had to make my friend go for a walk outside the apartment so I could go,” she adds.

Who are the poo positive people? Is anybody out there? Cue tumbleweed. Surely we can rely on Gen Z to speak freely about poo? In the name of investigative journalism, I scroll through #pootok, which has 10.4 million views, until I find the page @postwhenwepoop. The account shows clips of people rating their poos out of ten, with variables such as, “stankiness”, “liquidity”, “burn level”, “relief” and “duration”. One video reads: “I just did my first poo after a night of drinking and we all know that means, it made me feel rejuvenated. The poo itself wasn’t even that good, but I feel incredible. 7/10.”

The godlike sensation after shitting is known as ‘poo-phoria’. In the book What’s Your Poo Telling You?, Josh Richman and Dr. Anish Sheth describe it as: “The sense of euphoria and ecstasy you feel throughout your body when this type of faeces departs your system… to some it may feel like a religious experience, to others like an orgasm.” For Barney, 30, poo positivity takes a more primal approach. “I’ve always been attracted to smells and there’s something primitively instinctive about the smell of your own shit. This came out of you, you birthed this, you’ve created your own elixir,” he says. 

A number of initiatives are attempting to break the big poo taboo. In 2019, Seed Health launched their #GiveAShit For Science campaign, which encouraged people to upload a photo of their poo to their website, raising awareness of the links between poo and gut health. 

“The response was extraordinary. Just by taking a photo of your poop you’re destigmatising it to a certain extent, because it’s an uncomfortable thing to do – most people don’t even look at it,” says Ara Katz, Seed Health’s co-founder. “The more we destigmatise it, the more it opens up discussion and education around why it’s such a critical biomarker of our health.”

Long term, Katz hopes the database will be able to train artificial intelligence to analyse the difference between healthy and unhealthy stools – because checking out your poo (every now and again) could save your life. Blood in your poo can be a symptom of bowel cancer, according to the charity Bowel Cancer UK. Monitoring your poo can help you notice signs of IBS, constipation, ulcerative colitis and more.

In their quest for poo positivity, Seed Health even created The Most Sh*ttiest NFT, the first NFT made from human faecal matter. Taking inspiration from the rise of NFTs during the pandemic, Katz saw the opportunity to “talk about poop as something as valuable as art”.

OK, we aren’t saying you should hang a framed picture of your shit on the wall. But maybe we can all find some comfort in the universal nature of poo. Life’s an absolute shitshow, so don’t be ashamed to sit back, relax and let it all out.

@alice_halll

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Don’t Watch This Video If You Ever Want to Flush In Peace Again https://www.vice.com/en/article/dont-watch-this-video-if-you-ever-want-to-flush-in-peace-again/ Fri, 09 Dec 2022 14:00:00 +0000 https://www.vice.com/en/article/dont-watch-this-video-if-you-ever-want-to-flush-in-peace-again/ Disturbing, yet important, video taken by scientists reveals poo particles exhibit "strong jet-like behavior" after a flush.

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Most of us never think twice about our daily trips to the bathroom, but new footage of the airborne particles that erupt out of a toilet after a flush—illuminated in barftastic detail by laser light—might just haunt you forever. 

The video offers an unprecedented (and unholy) look at the plumes that rise out of lidless toilets, like those found in most public restrooms, after a flush. Scientists led by John Crimaldi, a professor of engineering at the University of Colorado Boulder, designed the experiment to investigate how rapidly these particles move, and how long they linger in the air, which is crucial information for ensuring sanitary conditions and combating the spread of disease.

Crimaldi and his colleagues discovered that these toilet plumes exhibit “strong jet-like behavior,” and that their flow through space is “surprisingly energetic and chaotic,” according to a study published on Thursday in Scientific Reports. And if that isn’t enough yuck for you, consider that some of these particles can remain floating in the air for minutes after the flush, just waiting to be inhaled by passers-by.

“Aerosols can transmit infectious diseases including SARS-CoV-2, influenza, and norovirus,” Crimaldi and his colleagues said in the study. “Flushed toilets emit aerosols that spread pathogens contained in feces, but little is known about the spatiotemporal evolution of these plumes or the velocity fields that transport them.” 

“Using laser light to illuminate ejected aerosols we quantify the kinematics of plumes emanating from a commercial flushometer-type toilet, and use the motion of aerosol particles to compute velocity fields of the associated flow,” the team added. “The toilet flush produces a strong chaotic jet with velocities exceeding 2 m/s; this jet transports aerosols to heights reaching 1.5 m within 8 seconds of initiating a flush. Quantifying toilet plumes and associated flow velocities provides a foundation for future design strategies to mitigate plume formation or to disinfect pathogens within it.”

While the research is certainly noteworthy for its “ick factor,” as Crimaldi put it in the accompanying video, it could also help researchers develop “future design strategies to mitigate human exposure through plume formation, disinfect pathogens carried by the plume, and enhance plume removal through ventilation,” according to the study.

It is also excellent motivation to keep the lid down when you flush, assuming your toilet has one, lest you become immersed in a cloud of poopy particles that might carry disease. Now, let us never speak of this again.

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Toilet Paper Company Sues Rival for Selling Very Long Roll https://www.vice.com/en/article/toilet-paper-company-sues-rival-for-selling-very-long-roll/ Wed, 07 Sep 2022 10:54:41 +0000 https://www.vice.com/en/article/toilet-paper-company-sues-rival-for-selling-very-long-roll/ A Japanese toilet paper maker patented rolls that are three times longer than normal ones. Its competitors have taken notes.

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When it comes to toilet paper, there aren’t lots of distinctive qualities. Rolls from competing brands can look like carbon copies, each claiming to be fluffy but tough.

But for one Japanese toilet paper giant, the rival’s roll was too similar for their liking.

Japanese toilet paper maker Nippon Paper Crecia said on Tuesday it was suing a rival for selling rolls that it said copied its innovation: triple-length toilet paper.

Since 2016, the company has been selling their triple-length rolls, measuring 75 meters and promising to save customers time changing toilet rolls.

Its competitor Daio Paper Industries jumped on the triple-length bandwagon in April, selling rolls at the exact same length and slightly longer. But Nippon Paper Crecia has accused Daio of copying its triple-length design and packaging.

“We have sought to resolve the issue through discussions with Daio Paper Corporation, but this has proved difficult, so we have decided to file this lawsuit,” a spokesperson told VICE World News. The company is seeking 33 million yen ($229,188) in damages. Daio Paper did not immediately respond to VICE World News’ request for comment.

Triple-length toilet paper is a popular roll for Nippon Paper Crecia, accounting for about 35 percent of its toilet paper sales last year. The company expects the number to rise to 40 percent this year—if it doesn’t lose their customers to their rivals.

Creating longer toilet paper rolls may sound like a trivial problem, but it involves more than winding more paper around the cardboard roll. 

In order to make triple-length toilet paper rolls fit in existing holders, the company created thinner paper and rolled it more tightly. But doing so can crush the embossing on the toilet paper and sacrifice softness and absorbency.

The company credits its patented manufacturing methods for extending the length of a roll while maintaining its softness and toughness, qualities that help it win customers’ hearts and bums.

Follow Hanako Montgomery on Twitter and Instagram.

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Scientists Potty-Trained Cows to Help Reduce Environmental Pollution https://www.vice.com/en/article/scientists-potty-trained-cows-to-help-reduce-environmental-pollution/ Mon, 13 Sep 2021 15:02:04 +0000 https://www.vice.com/en/article/scientists-potty-trained-cows-to-help-reduce-environmental-pollution/ Calves trained to urinate in an indoor latrine “showed a level of performance comparable to that of children,” according to a new study.

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You’ve heard of cow patties, but what about cow potties? 

As it turns out, toilet-trained cattle may become a real trend in agriculture, according to a team that taught calves to urinate in specified latrines. This so-called “MooLoo” training could reduce environmental pollution from cattle urine, and could even help fight climate change by curbing ammonia emissions from farms. 

The new findings “are original and reveal a hitherto unrealized opportunity to harness the cognitive capacities of animals to help resolve pressing environmental issues without compromising animal welfare,” according to a study published on Monday in Current Biology

The notion of potty-trained cows might seem like an unexpected novelty for most of us, but for Jan Langbein, an animal psychologist at the Research Institute for Farm Animal Biology who co-authored the study, the results are “not really a surprise” given the under-appreciated cognitive skills of cattle.

“As for their learning ability, previous studies have shown that cattle autonomously learn to operate various devices in the barn and move to certain places after prompting with various stimuli,” Langbein said in an email. 

“They appear to be able to learn to associate urination with a particular place, and they can develop awareness of an association between their own excretion and receiving a reward,” he continued. “From literature, we found evidence for the feasibility of latrine training in cattle from a neurophysiological and learning theory point of view.”

With that in mind, Langbein and his colleagues devised an experimental setup to see if calves could be trained to override their urge to urinate in an outdoor environment long enough to walk through an indoor alley to a special bathroom pen. 

The experiment involved a total of 16 calves, divided into two cohorts. The animals were rewarded with treats, such as molasses and crushed barley, when they urinated in the latrines and were gently splashed with water when they urinated outside, as a deterrent. 

As these exercises were repeated over the course of a few weeks, 11 out of the 16 cows caught on to the potty-training, even when the length of the alleys between the outdoor area and the latrines was increased. Ultimately, more than two thirds of the calves “showed a level of performance comparable to that of children and superior to that of very young children,” according to the study.

Cattle urine is a major source of ammonia emissions, which can cause environmental damage by contaminating soil and water around farms. Microbes in and around agricultural facilities also convert ammonia into nitrous oxide, which is a greenhouse gas that contributes to human-driven climate change.  

“Ammonia is an indirect greenhouse gas,” explained Langbein. “About 95 percent of ammonia emissions come from agriculture, and a considerable proportion comes from cattle farming, either directly from barn air or indirectly from slurry. Ammonia is responsible for a large amount of atmospheric [nitrogen] deposition which in turn leads to eutrophication of the soil and water” causing “soil acidification and direct plant damage.” 

As a result of these concerns, agricultural groups around the world have been working on methods to mitigate emissions on both local and global levels. The new study shows that potty-trained cows could be a promising part of this multi-pronged approach. To that end, Langbein and his colleagues look forward to developing automated versions of their MooLoo training program to make it more efficient and affordable.

“We are preparing a follow-up project, in which we want to realize our results, which were worked out under experimental conditions, under practical conditions,” he said. “For this purpose, the entire training procedure must be automated. Appropriate sensors should detect urination and trigger a reward output in case of urination in the latrine.”

The success of the experiment is also another reminder that cows are capable of learning and performing tasks that require both cognitive sophistication and physical restraint. Before writing these animals off as slow simpletons, consider that many of them can evidently learn to use the toilet at a much younger age than humans.

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The Best Bidets Under $100, Because Your Beautiful Booty Deserves It https://www.vice.com/en/article/best-bidets-under-100-dollars/ Wed, 18 Aug 2021 16:49:13 +0000 https://www.vice.com/?p=71653 Bidets get the job done far more efficiently than just toilet paper, and they’re more accessible, affordable, and easy-to-install than ever.

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Welcome to Under a Hundo, where your faithful VICE editors find the best versions of anything and everything you’re desperately seeking—all for under $100. Whether it’s fancy knives, instant-vacation-vibes patio furniture, or suspiciously underpriced ghost-hunting equipment, we’ve got your thrifty needs covered.

Have you ever come back from an international excursion and wondered why American bathroom tech hasn’t caught up with the rest of the world? Or, perhaps you recently watched Deadpool 2 and you can’t stop thinking about that one scene you didn’t know Matt Damon was in (though, if that’s the case, you’d probably already have the ass-wipe disrupting solution). If so, hear us out: Sometimes, getting blasted in the ass is a good thing. But we’re not talking about politics today—we’re talking about the magical, ass-cleaning powers of the quasi-taboo bathroom accessory, the bidet.

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, bidets get the job done far more efficiently than just toilet paper, and they’ve never been more accessible, affordable, and easy-to-install than they are now. That means no more having to hang your ass out of the Splash Mountain log flume to try to clean up after a trip to the bathroom. We’re truly living in a wondrous age.

Now, there are plenty of bidets out there that cost hundreds—and often thousands—of dollars. These, we’re sure, are great—but they’re way out of our price range. After all, we’ve only budgeted around $100 for ass-care this month. With that in mind, we scoured the web for the best affordable bidets, so your booty can live out its days (nights?) in freshly washed peace.

On-the-go cleansing

These are perfect for the next time you get invited to a potluck dinner. (Nobody really wants your tray of dry brownies, anyway, and even though you put it in your own Tupperware, everyone knows you didn’t rotisserie that chicken yourself.) You know what people are gonna go crazy over? A burlap sack full of personal, travel bidets. The HAPPYPO Butt Shower costs less than a big case of LaCroix, and fits discreetly into a purse or backpack. Pig out, plop down, and blast off.

The gold standard

You’ve seen the pastel-colored marketing, the bubbly branding, and the ass-eating ads. They might be a little on the nose, but Tushy’s products are affordable, effective, and loved by thousands of happy customers. The knobs are made from brass or sustainable bamboo, which are easy to grip and turn to your butt’s preferred water pressure.

Flowers aren’t the only thing that need watering

Non-electric bidets are perfect if you’ve only got one outlet in your bathroom and you need it for your home audio system. (Or your toothbrush, I guess.) The LUXE Bidet—which has nearly 37,000 reviews on Amazon with a 4.5-star average—comes with an 18-month warranty, and the SllimEdge features a “sleek incline to complement your natural position,” as well as dual-nozzle cleansing options and an easy, DIY installation process. Both come with everything you need to connect the bidet directly to your fresh water supply without calling a plumber. Get sprayin’.

Get in your element

The Element (also the name of my last car, RIP) by Omigo fits round and elongated toilets alike, and features a self-rinsing system that runs fresh water over both nozzles before and after each use. For a few extra bones, the Element Plus shoots warm water into your nether regions to give your bum a few moments of spa-like cleansing.

Wash your ass like a patriot

“American Standard” isn’t really what comes to mind when thinking of a bidet, but this elongated toilet seat is starting to change my mind. It features adjustable spray patterns, detachable nozzles, and slow-close hinges to prevent slamming of the seat. (Wouldn’t wanna wake anyone during a late-night spray sesh.)

How pooers get more done

Who knew Home Depot was in the bidet game? Not us. This BioBidet x Home Depot collab boasts two comfortable wash patterns, a stylish control knob, and a design “created with the Home Depot customer in mind.” (So, yeah. They’re thinking about ya over at Home Depot HQ.) One reviewer even mused that it gave them “some calmness and peace.” Couldn’t we all use a little of that these days?

They’ll probably have bidets on Mars

“Alpha One V2” sounds like a spaceship Elon Musk would design—though we haven’t given up hope that Tesla is going to finally get their act together and install them in the next model. The ultra slim design of the Alpha One bidet makes it look like a regular ol’ toilet seat, though it’s far from one. The powerful, concealed bidet can be installed in just 10 minutes, requires no electricity, and “features a simple one lever control system that’s simple enough for anyone to use,” according to the product description.

Maybe just one more trip to the log flume, for old time’s sake.


The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.

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I Tried Fohm, the Sustainable Device Disrupting Ass Wipes https://www.vice.com/en/article/what-is-fohm-flushable-wipe-review/ Thu, 01 Jul 2021 16:51:40 +0000 https://www.vice.com/?p=67315 Many of the “flushable” wipes on the market are actually wreaking havoc on the environment—and our sewer systems. Fohm wants to fix that.

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“Imma tell you what the big lie is,” Matt Damon explains in that scene from Deadpool 2. “Toilet paper.” And in a way, he’s right. (Or rather, the beer-drinking redneck who’s hanging major gut on the tailgate of a pickup truck is right.) You probably wouldn’t wipe fresh shit off your face with a dry paper towel or some toilet paper and call it “clean.” So, suggests Damon’s character, the move for taking care of shit where it usually comes out is to use a mixture of dry toilet paper and Huggies Natural Care Wet Wipes. Which, admittedly, sounds like a great idea, and many people do opt for the TP-wipes-TP cleanup strategy. (Though I’m not sure how many of us blow-dry our butts post-bathroom trip, as per the character’s final piece of advice.)

The problem? Many of the “flushable” wipes on the market are actually wreaking havoc on the environment—and our sewer systems.

While Huggies notes that their wipes aren’t flushable, the company is an outlier in its transparency. As Anne Gaviola reported for VICE Canada in 2019, “A team of researchers at Ryerson University released a damning report this month after testing 101 single-use products (23 of them were described as ‘flushable’ by the manufacturer) and they found that none of the wipes were ‘able to fall apart or disperse safely through the sewer system test, which can negatively impact household plumbing, municipal sewage infrastructure, and consequently, the environment.’” In fact, Gaviola reported, “the Municipal Enforcement Sewer Use Group estimates that $250 million is spent annually across Canada to remove blockages caused mostly by flushed wipes,” which “contain synthetic fibers including plastics which then do terrible things to our waterways and wildlife.”

Naturally, people that incorporate flushable wipes into their bathroom routine might be, ahem, bummed out to hear this particularly shitty news. I too, was troubled to find out that even though I was following the “safe to flush” instructions on the packages of flushable wipes I used, I was actually messing up my area’s sewer and environment. (Though, I guess lots of things are technically “flushable,” as in “you can literally flush this, but it may cause a massive, turd-iceberg headache for you or a plumber who will NOT be thrilled to pull out six Tamagotchis from a sewer main.”)

So, what’s a guy to do? What’s anyone to do when your b-hole needs soothing relief after a night of naîvely ordering your pad kra prow “most spicy” (you fool), but you don’t want to wreck your pipes? (Pun.) Well, friends, I think I’ve found the answer. Allow me to introduce you to Fohm, a new device that touts itself as a sustainable alternative to flushable wipes.

What is Fohm?

Fohm is a touchless foam cleanser dispenser that adheres to your bathroom wall next to your toilet paper roll. “It won’t clog your pipes or your planet,” explain creators Jerry and Alissa on their website. The couple “started Fohm out of [their] NYC apartment, launched it in 2019, and immediately started making waves in the toilet industry.”

I tried it out, and I have to say, it’s pretty sweet.

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FOHM IN THE WILD (Ian Burke)

How does it work?

When my bathroom kit came, it included a wall mount, adhesive strips, instructions, the dispenser, the cleanser cartridge, and a micro-USB charging cord, sans block. The website says that one cleanser cartridge lasts two people for around three months, and a 10-month refill supply is only 38 bucks. (Which, compared to constantly buying packs of wipes, ruining the sewers, and pissing off Mother Earth, seems like a pretty low investment.)

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FOHM KIT (Ian Burke)

To install it, you charge it for an hour (which the brand says lasts for around five months of regular use), stick it onto your wall with the included 3M Command Strips, and voila.

In my experience, you should plonk the 3M strips to your wall and wait at least overnight before attaching the unit—especially if you have a small bathroom that gets steamy when you shower. At first, I stuck the metal bracket and strips on the wall and waited an hour (per the instructions), but found that when I popped the dispenser on, it kept falling off, so I left the strips and wall mount on until the next morning before giving it another shot, which worked perfectly. After inhaling a dozen spicy arepas and downing half a bottle of fiber gummies to try to get this article out the door (kidding, plz don’t try @ home), I gave it a shot.

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FOHM’S PACKAGING (Ian Burke)

Honestly, I was kind of expecting my cheap-o, one-ply bodega toilet paper to immediately crumble to ash Thanos-style when it met the foam cleanser, but to my surprise, it held its structural integrity pretty well. And trust me when I say you literally cannot buy worse TP than the rolls that currently live under my bathroom sink in Brooklyn. (For some reason I’m not a fan of the soft, luxury toilet paper people seem so fond of; it just doesn’t seem to get the job done as efficiently.) The no-touch dispenser worked pretty well, and the foam itself is cooling, and works just as well—if not better—than your garden variety “flushable” wipe. It’s also not as wet as a wipe, which means your hands stay dry, and the follow-up wipe with dry toilet paper is a lot easier. Another advantage is that you can choose how large your wad of TP is, rather than only having the lil’ 4”x6” surface area of a wet wipe to work with.

Basically, if you’re not ready to pull the trigger on a sweet bidet, Fohm is an awesome and worth-it option. It feels nice, it won’t make your toilet paper break apart in your hand, and it’s significantly better for the environment. The dispenser itself is also elegant and low-profile, and having a foam dispenser in your bathroom will be a cool-ass (heh) thing to explain to party guests. (Your friends might finally start returning your calls!) Plus, if your roommate, like mine, often takes 30-minute bathroom excursions that sound like a weathered fisherman throwing alarmingly large buckets of chum into a rough ocean, it’s a good investment—for everyone.

Go forth, and wipe with confidence.


The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. VICE may receive a small commission if you buy through the links on our site.

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Is That Art? Nope, Just Tokyo’s State-of-the-Art Toilets https://www.vice.com/en/article/tokyo-public-toilets-japan/ Wed, 30 Jun 2021 09:26:27 +0000 https://www.vice.com/en/article/tokyo-public-toilets-japan/ Tokyo’s newly designed toilets, which all come equipped with washlets, aim to make bathrooms barrier-free and pretty.

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Transparent, clean, and fancy are certainly not the adjectives that come to mind when thinking about public toilets.

But in Japan, where cleanliness has been long associated with its culture, a series of newly renovated public bathrooms are set to be exactly that. 

Initially part of Tokyo’s efforts to improve the city’s infrastructure before the 2020 Olympic Games, the Tokyo Toilet Project has been revitalizing public bathrooms in its Shibuya Ward with the help of 16 designers.

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The 9th toilet in the 17 bathroom series. Photo: Courtesy of Satoshi Nagare, provided by The Nippon Foundation

Though the coronavirus pandemic postponed the games to 2021, the project has steadily been underway. Last week, it revealed the 9th out of its 17 bathrooms, located in Shibuya’s lush Nabeshima Shoto Park. The bathroom was created by Japanese architect Kengo Kuma, who designed the new National Stadium, the main venue for the Tokyo Olympic and Paralympic Games. 

Opened just a month before the Tokyo Games are set to begin, the toilet aims to emulate the park’s greenery with a “Toilet Village.” The bathroom consists of five huts, all connected by artistically angled cedar boards. The toilet’s design can be enjoyed by walking through the park’s woods. 

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Inside the recently opened toilet in Shibuya’s Nabeshima Shoto Park. Photo: Courtesy of Satoshi Nagare, provided by The Nippon Foundation

In addition to encapsulating the forest’s nature vibe through structural design, Kuma also aimed to make using the bathroom a “walk in the park” for everyone. 

Each of the toilets in the “Toilet Village” is designed to meet a special need, whether it be child care, wheelchair access, or personal grooming. The bathrooms come equipped with specific appliances that make public restrooms barrier-free. 

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At night, lights illuminate a path through the bathroom structure. Photo: Courtesy of Satoshi Nagare, provided by The Nippon Foundation

In Haru-no-Ogawa community park and Yoyogi Fukamachi Minipark, the new bathrooms are colorful and transparent.

Designed by Japanese architect Shigeru Ban, the exterior glass turns opaque when the bathroom is locked, making it easier for people to tell when it’s in use. The toilet also lights up at night, which the architect likened to a “beautiful lantern.”  

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The transparent toilets in Shibuya that went viral on social media. Photo: Courtesy of Satoshi Nagare, provided by The Nippon Foundation
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At night, the toilets light up like a “lantern.” The glass turns foggy when the bathroom is in use. Photo: Courtesy of Satoshi Nagare, provided by The Nippon Foundation
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The opaque glass inside a transparent toilet. Photo: Courtesy of Satoshi Nagare, provided by The Nippon Foundation

The Tokyo Toilet Project was launched by Nippon Project, a nongovernmental organization, in cooperation with Shibuya’s local government and the Shibuya Tourism Association.

All 17 toilets come equipped with washlets and are expected to be ready for public use by March 2022.

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The renovated bathroom located in Shibuya ward’s Higashi-Sanchome. The design was inspired by origata, a traditional Japanese method of decorative wrapping. Photo: Courtesy of SS Co.,Ltd. Hojo Hiroko
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Architect Tadao Ando hoped to create a “safe and comfortable” environment with a circular structure. Photo: Courtesy of Satoshi Nagare, provided by The Nippon Foundation
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Inside the circular bathroom. Photo: Courtesy of Satoshi Nagare, provided by The Nippon Foundation
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Architect Masamichi Katayama envisioned Japan’s traditional “kawaya” (bathrooms) that date back to 10,000 BCE. Photo: Courtesy of Satoshi Nagare, provided by The Nippon Foundation
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This toilet’s design was inspired by New York’s Washington Heights Dependent Housing, a large housing complex built by the U.S. in 1946. Photo: Courtesy of Satoshi Nagare, provided by The Nippon Foundation
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Designer Takenosuke Sakakura hoped to create an open and inviting bathroom. Photo: Courtesy of Satoshi Nagare, provided by The Nippon Foundation

Follow Hanako Montgomery on Twitter and Instagram.

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Japanese Firm Made 300-Meter-Long Toilet Rolls to Save You a Trip to the Store https://www.vice.com/en/article/japan-toilet-paper-rolls/ Wed, 16 Jun 2021 11:32:54 +0000 https://www.vice.com/en/article/japan-toilet-paper-rolls/ The extra long toilet roll doesn’t require a bigger paper holder.

The post Japanese Firm Made 300-Meter-Long Toilet Rolls to Save You a Trip to the Store appeared first on VICE.

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Until last year, toilet paper had never loomed quite so large in the public mind.

Early in the pandemic, many countries saw a toilet paper crisis, with stores selling out of rolls as people panic shopped. An Australian cafe used toilet paper as currency. A website helped you calculate how long your stock will last.

While the shortage is over, the pandemic has spurred new products promising to improve our crappy bathroom experience forever—such innovation as extra long toilet rolls.

Marutomi Seishi, a Japanese toilet paper maker, launched a 300-meter long roll last month. That’s six times the length of an average roll, or equivalent to the height of three Statues of Liberty.

The longer rolls are designed to reduce the number of visits to the supermarket to restock, Maki Ochiai, the deputy chief of marketing at Marutomi Seishi, told VICE World News.

“We wanted to deliver a product to customers that reduces their shopping stress,” she said.

As Japan’s state of emergencies get extended, more people are spending time at home and thus running out of rolls faster, she explained.

The decision to make a 300-meter long roll was also a test of toilet paper’s limits, the challenge being how to create super thin but soft paper to produce a compact roll that would fit normal toilet roll holders. Previously, paper makers have created gigantic rolls that require the use of a freestanding paper holder.

Marutomi Seishi managed to keep its 300-meter roll at a diameter of 12.5 cm, which is bigger than average but wouldn’t be out of place in a normal bathroom.

“Any longer, and the roll wouldn’t fit in toilet paper holders,” Ochiai said, adding that the company’s sales have grown since the product’s roll-out in May.

Yuriko Sato, a worker in the tech industry in Tokyo in her 50s, said she’s thankful for long paper rolls.

“It’s great because I don’t have to restock as much,” she told VICE World News.

Sato has recently bought an extra-long roll made by Marutomi Seishi. She also likes that the roll has no core, which means more paper and one less thing to throw out.

Follow Hanako Montgomery on Twitter and Instagram.

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Think You Get Too Few Bathroom Breaks? Try Being a Bullet Train Driver in Japan https://www.vice.com/en/article/think-you-get-too-few-bathroom-breaks-try-being-a-bullet-train-driver-in-japan/ Mon, 24 May 2021 11:39:52 +0000 https://www.vice.com/?p=63527 A three-minute bathroom break by a Japanese bullet train driver sparked debate over the pressure to stay on time in a country renowned for punctuality.

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Last week, a 36-year-old bullet train driver temporarily left the cockpit of the train carrying 160 passengers and traveling at 150 kilometers per hour near Tokyo. He said he had stomach pains and couldn’t bring himself to stop the vehicle before going to the bathroom, as guidelines recommend, because he wanted to arrive on time.

The three-minute bathroom break has since gotten him in trouble and ignited a debate over the pressure to be right on schedule in a country renowned for punctuality.

Japanese users on Twitter have expressed sympathy for the driver, acknowledging he was “only human.” 

“I feel bad for him. Humans need to go to the bathroom, right? Sometimes you just can’t help it. And the stops between each station are long,” one user said. 

“If a driver just needs to pee, then maybe wearing a diaper would be okay. But if they need to take a shit, I bet the smell would be difficult to deal with,” another user said. “I feel sorry for the driver if he gets fired over this.”

Some people expressed fear over the driver’s actions. “This is scary… Is there an autopilot system on bullet trains? This seems like an impossible game. What about they wear suits that come with diapers? I want the driver to be aware that passengers’ lives are in his hands,” one Twitter user said.

At a press conference on Friday, Masahiro Hayatsu, a senior official at train operator Central Japan Railway Company, apologized for the driver’s actions, Japanese news agency Kyodo News reported. 

The company’s rules state that drivers must contact their command center if they feel unwell while driving. They are allowed to stop the train or ask a qualified conductor to take over the controls.

But the driver, who has not been identified, said he dared not stop the car because he did not want to cause a delay. Instead, he asked the train conductor, who wasn’t qualified to operate the vehicle, to monitor the train while he rushed to the bathroom. 

A spokesperson at train operator Central Japan Railway Company told VICE World News that the driver’s actions were “extremely inappropriate, and both parties will be dealt with strictly.”

The train company said it was the first time a driver left the cockpit of a moving train with passengers onboard in the company’s 34-year history. Both men could be penalized for their action, the company said on Thursday.

Japanese bullet trains are renowned for being highly efficient and safe, having never reported a fatal crash or derailment in the 57 years since they entered operations. 

A Japanese railway company made headlines in 2017 when they apologized for a train departing 20 seconds earlier than scheduled. 

The Japanese public takes punctual trains for granted. In the unlikely event that a train is more than five minutes late, passengers can ask the train company for certificates to excuse themselves for being late to work or school.

For railway workers, the pressure to be on time has pushed some to resort to extreme measures despite their physical needs.

In 2016, a train driver in his 50s opened his cockpit door to urinate on the platform minutes before supposed departure from Sakura Station in Chiba Prefecture. The man said he was torn: he feared being late for work if he went to the bathroom, but also could not concentrate on driving with a full bladder, the Asahi Shimbun reported. 

One employee of Central Japan Railway Company also recalled to the Japanese newspaper that because bullet train routes are usually longer than normal lines, some drivers prepare diapers in case they couldn’t hold it.

But some have questioned why the railway operator doesn’t ensure that every train comes with a second qualified operator on board.

The company said some train conductors are qualified to operate the train.

The operation of Japan’s bullet trains is largely computerized, with minimal human intervention required. Train pilots are tasked with largely ensuring smooth travel. Drivers start the train and monitor a train’s path, making sure there are no abnormalities during travel. 

The country is also developing and testing driverless bullet trains that will be remotely piloted.

Update: This story has been updated with comments from a spokesperson at train operator Central Japan Railway Company.

Follow Hanako Montgomery on Twitter and Instagram.

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63527 Uthis July 19, 2011, file photo, Confederate battle flags fly outside the museum at the Confederate Memorial Park in Mountain Creek, Ala.