I have spent more hours of my time here on planet Earth bedazzling bras than I would readily care to admit. In my previous lifetime as a sorority gal, every weekend was Halloween, providing a test of will and creativity: Could we rise to any given theme and make it sexy? The answer was always yes.
I have stepped out into the world as a Sexy Can of Natural Light, Sexy Candycane, Sexy Tourist, Sexy Madeline (my best friend was the Sexy Nun, obviously), Sexy Grateful Dead Bear, Sexy Bottle of Champagne… you get this idea. Nothing is too mundane to be made sexy with enough determination and a willingness to forgo pants. Most of these costumes involved odysseys to JoAnne Fabrics and levels of hot glue that grown adults simply do not have time to engage in whilst retaining a sense of pride. However, the slutty spirit of Halloween should never be lost: a time simply comes in one’s life when you don’t have more than an hour to make your skimpy Halloween costume.
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And that’s okay. That’s the circle of life. That’s why I’m here, serving you up easy sexy Halloween costumes on a silver platter. (That don’t look like you picked them up at Spirit Halloween, either.)
Best sexy Halloween costumes
- Classic sexy Halloween costume – Catwoman
- Best unique sexy Halloween costume – Sexy Medusa
- Easiest sexy Halloween costume – I’m a Mouse, Duh
- This sexy Halloween costume for couples – Stevie Nicks and Lindsay Buckingham
- Sexy Halloween costume idea for you and your best friend – Playboy Bunny and Hugh Hefner
- Best silly slutty Halloween costume for couples – Jane Fonda and Richard Simmons
- Best kinky Halloween costume – Sexy Police Officer
- This last-minute sexy Halloween costume – Sexy Mob Wife
- Best DIY sexy Halloween costume – Sexy Vampire
- This sexy group Halloween costume idea – Cher Through the Years
Classic sexy Halloween costume – Catwoman
Okay, so Catwoman gets zero points for originality—I know. But it’s a Halloween staple and leaving it out of the sexy Halloween costume conversation would be a downright sacrilege. It’s also one of the easiest sexy Halloween costumes to clamor together—by far—that isn’t a waste of money.
For instance, I actually own this Commando Faux Leather Cat Suit and wear it as part of my everyday wardrobe. It’s my go-to travel outfit (so easy to pack, and you can style it a bajillion different ways to get maximum use out of it). Dropping moola on it so you can look hot on Halloween just opens the door for looking hot on any old random day, say at the airport or your friend’s bachelorette party on one of those drunk buses in Nashville. Costume-ifying it only takes a Catwoman accessories kits on Amazon (or just go with a full-on bondage kit—it’s basically the same thing).
Best unique sexy Halloween costume – Sexy Medusa
If you want to show the world that you’re hot and cultured, take your inspiration from Greek mythology and channel your inner Medusa. Once again, the beauty of this easy sexy Halloween costume is that its base—this sleek, backless satin dress from Lulus—is something you can actually wear again once you’re back to dressing up as your own sexy self. Is a $100 faux-gold snake headdress from Etsy a bit of a splurge? Yes, yes it is. But I can pretty much guarantee you that you’ll be the only person at the party wearing one.
Easiest sexy Halloween costume – I’m a Mouse, Duh
I say this with the highest level of respect and regard: Karen from Mean Girls was the Original Lazy Slut who paved the way for us all. When it comes to re-creating her iconic non-costume costume, all you need is a pair of Mouse ears and a lingerie slip that you already own. Of course, nobody’s going to fault you if you use the occasion as an excuse to go lingerie shopping at Victoria’s Secret.
This sexy Halloween costume for couples – Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham
As you might have already gathered, if you’re looking for latex-y sexy Halloween costumes, you have come to the wrong place. However, if you want to embody all the sexual chemistry and tension that fueled one of music’s most iconic and fraught couples—I got you.
Dressing up as Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham is the perfect Halloween costume for couples who want to show off how naturally sexy they are. For her, all you need is a flowy, witchy Stevie Nicks dress (aka anything from Free People) and a shawl. For him, it comes down to a pirate-y renaissance-y white shirt and vest.
As for the set of dangling wooden balls, well, I’m sure you’ll figure something out. How about a nice set of jiggle balls to use after the party? Bring some friends to complete the Fleetwood Mac roleplay.
Practice your Rumors album cover pose, and you’re good to go. Cocaine not included.
Sexy Halloween costume idea for you and your best friend – Playboy Bunny and Hugh Hefner
I’ve been to many-a Playboy-themed parties back in my glory days. Just as one would suspect, 19-year-old boys are notoriously uncreative in coming up with sexy themes. However, gals typically are.
While a dude dressing up as Hugh Hefner is kind of a yawn, a female Hugh is fun and playful—and a great duo costume for you and your bestie. The good news is that depending on how you spent your time in college, you might not have to buy anything for this one. But if you did throw out your sailor hat and bunny ears (sad) this bountiful Earth has plenty more.
Best silly slutty Halloween costume for couples – Jane Fonda and Richard Simmons
What is sluttier than a man in short shorts? Nothing. If you and your beau know you’re sexy and don’t feel like taking yourselves too seriously this year, RSVP to your upcoming Halloween party as Slutty Richard Simmons (rest in power, king) and Jane Fonda. Set those thighs free.
Best kinky Halloween costume – Sexy Police Officer
There’s a time and a place for just buying the damn costume set, and that is the time in your life when you’re called upon to dress as a slutty cop. This set is under $40, which is all I want to spend on a non-DIY costume set. Save your money for Lovehoney’s DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Wrist Cuff to use after the party (and throw in a remote controlled vibrator to really up the kink factor).
This last-minute sexy Halloween costume – Sexy Mob Wife
Perhaps one of the easiest last-minute sexy Halloween costume ideas for women is the Mob Wife. The Mob Wife aesthetic is all about maximalism: think tight clothes, animal print, chunky gold, leather, red lipstick, fur—anything that Carmela Soprano, Adriana La Cerva, Elvira Hancock, and Mona Lisa Vito would be proud to wear.
Hopefully, you have most of this in your closet already so you can clamor it together. (If you don’t… why?) To really get into character and bring it all home, top your outfit off with a leopard fur coat—like this Donna Salyers Fur Coat. (Which I wholeheartedly recommend as it is my real-life, real-deal winter coat.)
Best DIY sexy Halloween costume – Sexy Vampire
A spiritual (albeit more morbid) sister to the Sexy Mouse costume is the Sexy Vampire. It’s one of the most supremely easy sexy Halloween costume ideas for women: All you need is a black dress of your choice (like this sultry tube dress from Skims) and some fake blood (or this edible chocolate flavored body paint).
This sexy group Halloween costume idea – Cher Through the Years
Get a gaggle of Halloween-loving gals together and someone is going to suggest being the Spice Girls. While I’m not knocking it as a good sexy Halloween costume idea, most of us have already been there and done that.
A less overdone group costume idea—that still honors pop and divaship—is going as the many different eras of Cher: Sonny and Cher Cher, Vegas Cher, If I Could Turn Back Time Music Video Cher, Cher at the Oscars…. the list goes on and on depending on how many friends you have. I myself have been Cher many times and it’s always a hit. The key to being a good Cher is all in the hair. Get a wig. If you think you can style your hair like Cher, humble yourself. You can’t.
Godspeed, you sexy thing.
