As Scream’s Randy Meeks, the dorky, motor-mouthed one who gives the film its self-reverential running commentary, so helpfully explained, if you want to survive in a horror movie then you have to abide by three essential rules:
1. You can never drink or do drugs.
2. You can never have sex.
3. You can never, ever, under any circumstances say: “I’ll be right back.” Because you won’t be.
Of course, Randy was bundled into the back of a van in Scream 2 and came to a self-reverential sticky end. For some reason, and no doubt to the relief of the genre’s practitioners, no one ever follows those rules. Which is why horror will never die and, if this evil strewn autumn is anything to