Adam also recalls questioning his own sexuality after the assaults. Many male survivors experience this uncertainty and doubt after sexual violence, especially if they experienced an erection or ejaculation during the assault. Physiological responses like an erection are involuntary, meaning the survivor has no control over them. These physical signs are not an invitation for unwanted sexual activity and in no way condone an assault.

Adam did not report the assault or tell anyone from his family. He feared that he wouldn’t be believed and that the truth would destroy his family. “I think there’s a stigma attached to it that, ‘Oh, you’re a man, you should have been able to fend him off.’”

Years later, Adam finally opened up to his girlfriend, who encouraged him to talk to his parents. “The ironic thing was that I opened up to my parents on October 8, 2010, ten years to the day of the last sexual attack. They supported me unconditionally and distanced themselves from him.”

Today, Adam is currently working as an archivist at the Diocese of the Armenian Church of America. He enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, going to sporting events, watching TV, reading and just enjoying life. It wasn’t easy to recover from the abuse, but Adam found that talking about what happened to a supportive network of friends and family helped him to heal. “The experience I have had in the recovering from the abuse is [that] he did not win. I have not allowed myself to be defined by the abuse.”