You're tasked with providing feedback to a client. How do you ensure it enhances the relationship?

My preparation to give someone feedback means that I care for that person and will present the feedback in the best possible way. This means I will be nonjudgmental and empathetic towards the person, without any hidden agendas, suppressed emotions, or manipulation. I will also be transparent and authentic because this fosters trust and creates an environment where honest and constructive conversations can take place.

Prep is always key! I like to ensure closing feedback follows a simple formula: what worked, what was challenging, what we can do to work better in the future (as both client and service provider). This basic structure helps with presenting feedback in a transparent and candid manner, but also emphasizes that growth and learning is a two way thing. I like to also ensure that suggestions for improvement don’t just include those that require them to engage with us again. Sharing options that prioritize client needs may sometime mean they don’t need to work with us - and that is okay. The goal at the end of the day is to help a client move forward in the best way possible.

Being constructive in giving feedback means that I provide my client with a realistic assessment of both their strengths and weaknesses. I will equally acknowledge both and explain to my client, through their own example, how they are applying these traits. It also means that I will encourage my client to openly express their opinion on whether they agree with my feedback, and we will discuss their development point—specifically, their future growth and progress.

The permeability of our boundaries determines to whom, under what circumstances, and how much we will open up. Similarly, when providing feedback, it is crucial to consider the timing and the emotional state of the other person. Just as it takes time to share a real experience with someone, it is important to reflect on our true motives for giving feedback and to express it clearly from those motives. Furthermore, the feedback should be given when we assess that the person is grounded and emotionally ready to receive it, and not caught in a state of limbo. Ultimately, the timing and circumstances should be such that we feel well-connected to the other person when delivering our message.

The true purpose of feedback lies in its ability to be personalized. It holds value only when it is tailored to the specific individual, addressing their unique strengths and weaknesses. Without this personal touch, feedback risks becoming generic and ineffective. The whole point of personalized feedback is to encourage real growth and deeper understanding.

As a psychotherapist, encouraging an open dialogue with clients is crucial for building trust and fostering a strong therapeutic relationship. As Joseph Zinker said, “It takes time to share a real experience with someone.” This means that dialogue isn’t just about speaking—it’s about choosing the right moment and ensuring that both sides are grounded and ready to communicate openly. By encouraging clients to share their perspective and discuss feedback, we show that their input matters and that we are genuinely invested in their growth. This opens an exchange of ideas and promotes mutual respect and deeper understanding.