Your client is feeling discouraged after setbacks. How can you motivate them to keep moving forward?

We beat ourselves up too much and that can heighten any setbacks. I didn't workout this week. I had two cheat meals. I only went to bed early one night. When you focus on the positive, it illuminates possibility to your client. A powerful question to get this client back on track would be: you went to bed early one night, what made that possible that night?

One way that a clinician can help the client to get re-motivated is by helping them to understand how far they have come. It can help to use SMART goals which will allow the client to check things off as they make progress. Feeling stuck can be a way to notice that a step or objective was missed or that it is a learning opportunity. For instance, a person does not just go buy a house. There are steps to getting to the purchase of a house. What area do they want to live? Are there jobs in that area? Is the clients credit score high enough to get a mortgage? What type of house do they want? These may all be objectives to buying the house.

The impact of normalizing how we feel or what we might be telling ourselves (internal negative talk) during setbacks is significant. However, with regards to reframing setbacks as opportunities for growth it's really important to consider the timing of doing this. Too soon, and the client will not be able to take it in and will reject the message. For the client to be able and accept reframing setbacks as opportunities for learning, we first need to exercise the empathic listening (coming second in this article). We first need to create the appropriate emotional climate which includes meeting the client 'where they are' before we introduce a mindset which might be too different for the client to integrate whilst in a negative mindset.

Reframing set backs as either indicators for space to dive in deeper (roll with resistance) or as information about ourselves. What was the set back? If this was the effect what was the cause? Why does it feel like a set back? How can you prepare yourself in order to prevent future events such as this?

In situations such as these, it is important to listen, reframe the content and validate your client's experience. Sometimes normalizing is also a good idea.

Empathetic listening can be confused by the untrained layperson for sympathetic response. Being sympathetic in this context has the risk of positioning the client in a 'victim' role by pitying them for their bad experience or unintentionally patronizing by showing concern from a distanced cognitive understanding of what they are going through. An empathetic response which is non-judgemental will be driven by energy of curiosity and accepting how the person is feeling without judging them for how they feel and treating them as you would want to be treated, even if you wouldn't have the same emotional response had that setback happened to you..

Para ter empatia é necessário escutar. Ouvir atentamente as pessoas ajuda e transforma em compreensão. Motivar é necessário sempre.

People tend to want to achieve certain goals either by wanting to move towards something they really want or move away from something they really don't want in their life. Identifying which kind of a client is sitting in front of you (a 'move towards' or a 'move away from' person) can help to bring them back to the path of why they wanted to achieve the goal in the first place in a way and use of language which aligns with the how they think. This carefully considered personally-tailored approach will enable better engagement to reconnect the client with their reasons to pursue change in the first place.

Toda pessoa tem valores, identifique quais são, tente acompanhá-los de perto e ajudar nestas questões de contratempo. Avalie se a pessoa esta apta a continuar, pois às vezes está tão abalada que pode ser ajudada até mesmo emocionalmente.

It is crucial that the client sets their own goals so that they have a sense of responsibility and accountability towards their goals. A coach can help the client see that their goals might not be SMART, and together discuss how they can be chunked down further. At times, when a client would set their goals too highly, I might invite them to reduce their expectation quite significantly and say that if they manage beyond that - this would be a bonus. This way, I remove the pressure of the unrealistic goal but not taking away the option of still reaching it as 'extra' if this happens to happen. But for sure they will meet the lower level goal which increases their confidence and belief that they can achieve.

Para ter vitórias, crie metas realistas, e sempre acompanhe as mesmas de perto. De que adianta metas complexas e que não podem ser cumpridas

Something I see a lot of clients and clinicians not understand about goal setting is they change and may need to adapt. Too often clients can perceive goals as a linear process. I used to explain that enacting goals is like a spiral slide you are trying to climb up the slide to the top. Sometimes you slip due to losing your footing or something wet appears that out of nowhere (insert what the "wet" substance is here). While the ladder is easier goals and achieving our goals are rarely as easy as taking the ladder, as there will be unexpected things, and the work and struggle of going up the slide is more like the effort real change requires

Celebrating progress also need to be carefully crafted, particularly with clients who master negative inner chatter since they will be more likely to dismiss other people acknowledging their achievements. In resisting to celebrating achievements, I might ask a client what would they say if it was their best friend/ partner etc who achieved this progress showing them how harder it can be for us sometimes to treat ourselves positively in the same way we treat others. I've never known a client who didn't get this message smiling 'guilty as charge' for not being as kind to themselves and starting to change the neurological pathways in this regard.

As a Health Equity Research & Action Consultant and a mother of a child with a disability, I've learned to appreciate every blessing and understand that progress, even if incremental, is still progress. This mindset drives my work with clients—encouraging them to keep moving forward and maintain their vision. Setbacks, I've found, are inevitable in life and business. They provide a chance to reassess strategies, refine processes, and improve partnerships. Perfection isn’t sustainable, but continuous growth is. Celebrate the fact that you're still in business moving toward your goals!

Oftentimes I find clients struggling to identify the progress they have already made in therapy. Clients often find it easier to identify and celebrate their progress when looking through the eyes of someone else, or even the eyes of their younger or older selves. I ask questions such as "What might a friend or family member notice about what you have achieved so far? What might they notice about what is different about you today, compared to when you started therapy?" Or "What might your younger self notice about how you handle this issue now? What might they appreciate?" Or "If we could time travel into the future by one year, what might your future self say they are grateful for about how you have handled this issue?".

Snyder’s hope theory is a good framework for setting and focusing on goals. It might be good for the client to be helped in identifying his/her strengths and support system so achieving his/her goal might become more achievable and that the focus on the end goal may seem to be easier than how it was.