How can consultants improve their conflict management skills?

Notice how you are stuck in your own perspective as reality. Keep that point of view and see if you hear what their point of view is. If there is a conflict people are stuck in their point. You can't do anything about their point of view but you can listen to it as another possible way seeing (other than your perspective) and you don't have give up or invalidate your perspective to see theirs. You do have to give your perspective as the only way. This then leads to a dialogue and opens up the traffic jam in the relationship.

While knowing your style is important and it helps to decide your approach to conflict management, one has to remain adaptive and firm at the same time. To achieve ideal results: Prepare well. Know your proposal or solution fully with benefits, value, issues and risks Elaborate on these to the extent possible Anticipate and prepare for questions or areas of conflict Be an open listener and pick up anything you missed in your analysis Work with stakeholders to arrive at optimal solutions Be ready for a pilot and continual improvement approach if required It’s never an I win you loose battle but where it’s a collective win. And this can be achieved by making all stakeholders see the value the proposal brings.

Always use a cooperative conflict management style due to temporary background, lack of collaborative experience, and information asymmetry. ✅Identify the preferred conflict management style of the consultant and the team members. ✅Assess the effectiveness of the current conflict management style being used. ✅Provide training and guidance on cooperative conflict management styles ✅Encourage the use of an obliging style, which involves caring more about others and catering to their ideas while passively accepting and giving up one's own interests. ✅Foster a culture of empathy and understanding among team members to improve relationship quality. ✅Regularly review and revise conflict management strategies to ensure their effectiveness.

If you really want to manage conflict instead of tolerate it, nothing beats self-awareness. Think about your most recent conflict: What made you uncomfortable, and why? How did you react? How did it turn out in the end? After a lifetime of conflict avoidance conditioning, it's time for a counter-intuitive approach is best. When you know your own conflict style, you can rewire your response and achieve more productive outcomes.

Slow down! In the heat of the moment, it's difficult to assess anything, as conflict makes us emotionally reactive. Breathe, stay silent, ask questions and listen, take notes, drink some water, or disengage to a break. Once your heart stops pounding, you can then assess your reaction and then choose a negotiating style that best suits the situation.

Active listening serves to defuse the emotional level in a conflict, whether it's at home or at work. Each party should take turns speaking, taking care to be open-minded. Body posture and other actions can help convince the other party that the listener really is paying attention. To improve conflict management skills, consultants can seek out training related to listening techniques, trust-building, and emotional intelligence. "An effective, dynamic, and modern leader should be a rock for his or her team," "Active listening" is a management tool . He/She echoes the other consultants, adding that participants at the office or elsewhere should pay heed to their non-verbal behavior die to active listening and paying attention.

Listen as if someone's life depends on it because there may be a reason for concern and a necessity to act to prevent a harmful outcome.

As a consultant, listening begins with asking questions. Open-ended, thought-provoking questions can often get leaders and stakeholders to REALLY get clear on their “why”, challenge their assumptions, and explore their motivations. All too often, solutioning begins with, and stays focused on the WHAT & HOW. An effective consultant will first seek to understand the WHY and then help to provide direction and solutions. Consultants should play the role of coach first, and expert second. Long after the consultant has come and gone, business leaders need to understand and embrace the reasons behind the change in order to sustain it and see the long-term business results.

Impasse usually occurs, when parties either cease listening, or listen only to respond. Active listening and empathy are the only things mediators (especially court-appointed ones) bring to the table. They keep parties separated, and they listen to them, really listen. They don’t respond. They ask questions. It’s dialogical, Socratic. They elicit settlement proposals. How engaged and intent must such listening be? Think about a world-class symphony orchestra conductor. They listen to each chorister, instrument, and soloist, etc. Almost all of their work is done before the concert. When done properly, audience members only see reminders and timekeeping. It leads some to believe conductors are superfluous. Yeah, right! 🙃

Listening is one of the most ignored and underrated skill and one of the most important part of conflict management. It’s crucial to focus on both verbal and nonverbal communication of the other party or parties as non-verbal communication forms more than 90% of our communication. Therefore it is best to resolve conflicts face to face. Focusing on nonverbal cues helps us better understand the perspectives of other parties. It’s crucial to manage own emotions at this stage and listen with an open mind. Our response to the conflict will be best if we listen well. Response doesn’t necessarily mean to speak:)

Assertive communication involves expressing thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear and direct manner, while also respecting the thoughts, feelings, and needs of others. This approach can help to prevent misunderstandings and reduce the likelihood of conflict. Some steps that can be taken: 👍Use "I" statements to express thoughts and feelings, rather than blaming or accusing others 👍Listen actively to the other person's perspective and acknowledge their feelings and needs 👍Use a calm and respectful tone of voice, and avoid using aggressive or passive-aggressive language 👍Be clear and specific about what want or need, and be willing to negotiate and compromise 👍Practice assertive communication in everyday interactions

Sharing your point of view as just one of the points of view is different from communicating assertively as THE point of view in conflict resolution may often flare up the conflict. Wait for the occasion to open up as a "clearing for possibilities to occur" rather than "hack away" the "jungle of confusion" and diverse points of view. It's a naturally occurring world out there - all are parts of the occurrence of conflicts and resolutions - so go easy - take it easy. Negotiations and Conflict Resolutions are two sides of the same coin

Point 3: Communicate Assertively Consultants should practice assertive communication in conflict management. This means expressing thoughts and needs clearly, respectfully, and confidently. It helps establish boundaries, promote transparency, and ensure all parties feel heard and valued during conflict resolution.

Assertive communication goes beyond just expressing oneself; it's about balancing clear expression with listening to others. Using “I” statements helps build constructive dialogue without accusations. Being concise yet direct is vital. Effective communication in conflicts requires balancing directness with empathy and respect. It's about making clear points and seeking mutual understanding for harmonious resolutions.

Assertiveness is a practiced skill, many mistake aggressiveness with assertiveness. So what's the difference. Assertive people deliver their message with firmness and humility, which communicates an openness to "hear" other points of view. Aggressiveness is typically a "winning" stance, which implies that someone must lose. If we are direct, candid and caring in our communication we will foster an ongoing dialogue.

As an external consulting team, we often find ourselves in conflict-like situations that arise because of the changes we propose. This leads to several consequent challenges, including but not limited to change in resource allocation norms, job redesign, changes in workplace networks etc. On many occasions we are also expected to implement this change, which ultimately foregrounds our role in the conflict. We have found the "cheap-dear" principle to be a useful mechanism to establish common ground in the conflict. Simply put, we try to identify something that is "cheap" to us (or the client) and "dear" for the target of change - an exchange of cheap and dear often leads to a solution that is acceptable to both parties.

This involves identifying shared goals and interests among conflicting parties and working towards a mutually beneficial solution. To seek common ground and improve conflict management skills, here are some steps that can be taken: ✅Identify the underlying interests and needs of all parties involved in the conflict ✅Look for areas of agreement and shared goals ✅Brainstorm potential solutions that meet the needs of all parties ✅Evaluate the potential solutions and select the one that best meets the shared goals and interests ✅Communicate the solution clearly and ensure that all parties understand and agree to it ✅Follow up to ensure that the solution is implemented effectively and that any issues are addressed promptly

One way to do this is to “go to the balcony”. International mediator and Harvard educator William Ury explains that from a “balcony” perspective we look down at the conflict, beyond any single perspective to see paths through which conflict emerged and is perpetuated and begin to discern pathways to resolution. Rise above to find the route through.

Point 4: Seek Common Ground Consultants should actively look for shared interests and common ground among conflicting parties. Identifying areas of agreement can create a foundation for constructive dialogue and collaborative problem-solving. Seeking common ground is a key strategy for successful conflict resolution.

Some of the ways: Appreciate during the discussion as they’ve trusted to open up to you Share something powerful that relates to one of the values of the individual Thirdly open up a room for though & thinking

Feedback can provide valuable insights into how others perceive communication style and behavior, and can help identify areas for improvement.To learn from feedback and improve conflict management skills,some steps that can be taken: 👍Solicit feedback from team members and stakeholders on your conflict management style and behavior 👍Listen actively to the feedback and avoid becoming defensive or dismissive 👍Identify patterns and themes in the feedback to identify areas for improvement 👍Develop an action plan to address the areas for improvement and track progress over time 👍Regularly review and revise the action plan based on new feedback and experiences By these steps consultants can improve their conflict management skills.

We love getting feedback, so long as it's nice! You can tell us we're wonderful any time you want, and we'll be happy to hear it. The other kind of feedback, we appreciate but don't enjoy as much, and are therefore less likely to seek it out. Feedback is a gift but might also make us defensive or sad. Before hearing feedback, we should prepare ourselves emotionally to receive it. As we hear it, we need to listen carefully and manage our reactions. After it's over, we need to take time, get back to even keel, and then see what we can take away from it. It might be helpful to share it with a friend or colleague, as they might help us think through it and learn more objective lessons.

Point 5: Learn from Feedback Consultants should actively seek and learn from feedback on their conflict management efforts. Feedback provides valuable insights into what worked and what didn't. It helps consultants refine their approach and continuously improve their conflict resolution skills.

Earlier, I mentioned that part of managing through conflict is to be open to the fact that we project a lot onto one another while in conflict. Which requires us to put a bit of a shield up so we can hear the other person and know that this is their interpretation. The flip side is that if we do this too much, we don't hear some of the important messages we need to hear. I often advise people to imagine that they have a shield they can put up in conflict to take what is incoming. But to have a shield with a few cracks in it, what needs to get through can make it. Our conflict with others can teach us a lot about ourselves; either ask for or evaluate the feedback we need to receive the following conflict.

I will add setting boundaries and communicating earlier whether in a relationship, client relationship or in a team. Establishing boundaries helps to us know what is and isn't expectable in our interaction....

Point 6: Seek Support Consultants should not hesitate to seek support or guidance from mentors, colleagues, or training programs to enhance their conflict management skills. Learning from others' experiences and expertise can provide valuable insights and help refine their conflict resolution abilities.

During most conflicts it does not work to solve it directly between the parties. That is why, like in many cultures, spokespersons are used to remove the personal agony, to add neutral ground and get other perspectives. A discussion hereafter more easily focuses onfacts and practicalities.

Provide consultants with specialized conflict resolution training programs. These programs should cover various conflict management styles, communication techniques, and negotiation skills. Training sessions can include role-playing exercises to simulate real-world conflicts, allowing consultants to practice and refine their conflict resolution skills in a controlled environment.

Ne pas hésiter à recourir à une tierce personne plus expérimentée (prédécesseur à la fonction, supérieur hiérarchique), à un coach ou médiateur. Cela apportera plus de perspectives, peux permettre de baisser les armes ou ne pas être sur la défensive, mieux adhérer aux résolutions et surtout un bon apprentissage

Seeking support may be hard for some but its important. the deman on professionals is high especially in high conflict roles, this is magnified for those exposed to conflict without prior training or strategies of dealing with it. We must offer support as well as seeking it for ourselves if we feel we or those around us are effective. This can be give by having a friendly chat after event as a low key debrief.

When people want to describe something easy, they metaphorically describe it as "a piece of cake." Simply because trying to eat a full cake is next to impossible. Conflicts, just like cakes, are a mixture of complex ingredients. If you look at them as a whole you would probably think they are unsolvable. Conversely, if you slice them to small pieces, they are much easier to digest and resolve. Start by understanding and solving each problem separately. Step by step, you'll get to the final solution. Although immediate actions give faster results, they might not address the root causes of a conflict. Aim for long-term solutions to ensure a lasting impact on your business endeavors.

Work on your emotional intelligence (EIQ), it will help you in a conflict scenario. Your EIQ subconsciously guides you when it comes to conflict management.

Verabschiede dich von der Vorstellung, die andere Partei in einem Konflikt sei ein Feind. Sie sieht die Welt in der Regel nur anders als du. Solange du davon ausgehst, der andere sei das Problem, liegt eine gemeinschaftliche Lösung fern. Wenn es gelingt, das Problem von der Person zu trennen, ist das ein guter erster Schritt in Richtung einer Lösung. Denn um zu einer Lösung zu kommen, brauchen wir den anderen.

I think, one key element for everyone, not only for consultants, is to not be afraid of conflicts. A conflict is a natural element conversations and it can be a driver for finding an innovative solution an agreement. Sometimes, there can be a situation to "agree to disagree" and then move on. Being afraid of conflicts, in my opinion, is a key impediment for finding a common ground a solution. You avoid addressing the pinpoints, the difficult topics, hence the conflict or issue only becomes bigger. So, what can you do? Ask questions like "do I understand you correctly, that..." or "is my assumption correct, that..."... Build trust. Get creative with the other side. They also want a solution.

Setting up expectations at the beginning of the planned dialogue. Introducing humility at start- "I will make mistakes, I'm open to feedback, we are all human".