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flirts.txt
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I bet your name's Mickey, 'cause you're so fine.
I better get out my library card, 'cause I'm checkin' you out.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
I've been bad, take me to your room.
I think Heaven's missing an angel.
That shirt is very becoming on you. If I was on you, I'd be coming too.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.
That shirt looks good on you, it'd look better on my bedroom floor.
You have 206 bones in your body. Do you want one more?
Can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.
Hey beautiful, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
I cant help to notice but you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
Aren't your feet tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day.
I must be asleep, 'cause you are a dream come true.
I like large posteriors and I cannot prevaricate.
If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me?
Nice butt.
Did you ever realize that screw rhymes with me and you?
I'm gay but you might just turn me straight.
I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
I lost my virginity, can I have yours?
Girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause your face is all sorts of jacked up.
I hope you have pet insurance, because I'm going to destroy that pussy.
Do you have a map? I think I just got lost in your eyes.
Do you work at subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread.
I find that the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.
It’s a good thing I wore my gloves today; otherwise, you’d be too hot to handle.
I want to put on my velcro gloves and fuck you like a sheep.
Lets say you and I knock some very /sensual/ boots.
I lost my phone number, can I have yours?
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
I'm here, where are your other two wishes?
Are you a parking ticket? Cause you have FINE written all over you.
Do you have a mirror in your jeans? Cause I can see myself in your ass.
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Eyy bby wun sum fuk?
You got something on your chest: My eyes.
Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only TEN I see.
Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart.
Excuse me, but I think you dropped something. MY JAW!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
I'm so sorry, it seems I've lost my keys. Do you mind if I check your pants?
Where have you been all my life?
I'm just a love machine, and I don't work for nobody but you.
Do you live on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise cocks.
Are you wearing space pants? Because your ass is out of this world.
You are almost as beautiful as my sister. But well, you know, that’s illegal.
Nice legs. What time do they open?
Are you lost? Because it’s so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
You're so beautiful that last night you made me forget my pickup line.
I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
I think we should just be friends with sexual tension.
Whenever I see you I feel like a dog dying to get out of the car.
If I'd have held you any closer I'd be in back of you.
I wish I were on Facebook so I could poke you.
Are you my appendix? I don't know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out.
I want you like JFK wanted a car with a roof.
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.
Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.
Are you my Appendix? Because I don't know that much about you, but I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
Your body is 65% water and I'm thirsty.
My doctor says I'm lacking Vitamin U.
You look so familiar... didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry.
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.
When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.
I like Legos, you like Legos, why don't we build a relationship?
Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite.
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day.. .all I'm asking for is one from you.
If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
Do you have a mirror on your pants? No, them I must have been looking into the future, because I can see myself in them.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Is your name "swiffer"? 'Cause you just swept me off my feet.
Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment... Want to help prove him wrong?
If you were a transformer, your name would be Optimus Fine.
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
Are you an alien, cause you're out of this world.
Are your parents bakers? Cause they sure made you a cutie pie!
Did you go to bed early last night? From the looks of it, you got your beauty sleep.
You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.
Are you a hipster, because you make my hips stir.
I don't know if you're beautiful, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.
Be unique and different, say yes.
Are you a Snickers bar? Cause you satisfy me.
Are you a magnet, cause I'm attracted to you.
Let's make like a fabric softener and 'Snuggle
On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9. I'm the 1 you need.
I was feeling kinda off today, but you definitely turned me on.
Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaam!
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
Do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
Do you run track? Cause I relay want your dick.
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Could you do me a favor? *hold out hand* Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
Are you my homework? Cause I'm not doing you but I definitely should be.
Roses are red, the bedroom beckons. So spread your legs, and I'll last 10 seconds.
Roses are red, violets are fine. If I be the 6, will you be the 9?
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
I love my bed but I'd rather be in yours.
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you all night long!
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
You're so hot, even my pants are falling for you!
Baby I last longer than a white crayon.
Do you have a phone in your back pocket? Because your booty is calling me.
Does your ass have Allstate insurance? No, do you want it to be in good hands?
You have been very naughty. Go to my room!
Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
Don't ever change. Just get naked.
I wanna mash my thingy into your thingy.
Do you have a shovel? Cause I'm diggin' that ass!
Are you my new boss, because you just gave me a raise.
You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.
I'm peanut butter, you're jelly, let's have sex.
Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you're giving me a serious bone condition
Is your name winter? Because you'll be coming soon.
Do you work for Papa Johns? Cause I wanna get a fine pizza ass.
Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Is your dick dead, because I want to bury it in my ass.
There are 206 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
I bet my tongue can beat up your tongue.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.
I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
Do you sleep on your stomach? No, can I?
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? Yes, in that case, mind if I check your oil level?
I'm easy. Are you?
If I'm a pain in your ass, we can just add more lubricants.
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at pick up lines, nice butt.
Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.
What are you doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
My name is Skittles... wanna taste my rainbow?
You remind me of a crop, because I wanna plow you.
Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
Are you the SAT because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think 'wow, I hope I don't ruin this.'"
Are you hungry? Cause I got something for you to eat.
I'll toss your salad fresh every day.
Netflix 'n chill?
Are we playing IRC duckhunt? because I want to .bang you.