Dear Client,
I hope this message finds you in good spirits and with a sense of humor intact. I couldn't help but chuckle when I read your project description. It seems like you're in need of a quirky and fun-loving freelancer who can bring a touch of humor to your ASP.net WebForms portal project.
Rest assured, I fully understand your requirements and have taken note of the professional skills you seek - Microsoft Access, IIS, ASP.NET, Open Source, and Web Application. But here's the twist - I promise to deliver all this using VB ONLY, no C#, and absolutely no third-party controls or compiled objects. We'll keep it simple and hilarious!
Now, let's talk about your project specifics. You want a portal that allows users to define locations, store and retrieve files (no cloud storage, sorry), and even create and manage a gantt chart without the need for MS Project. And hey, we'll make sure it works seamlessly on Firefox and Chrome.
To keep things interesting, I'll use free objects and sources available on the internet, saving time and reducing development costs. We'll even throw in some file icons, because who doesn't love a classic blue 'W' for Word documents?
But wait, there's more! Your application layout will be based on a free template of your choice, and we'll need your approval before we start coding. And don't worry, we won't forget to add your logo in all the right places, including the login form and inside the application.
Now, let's talk about roles. Some users can do everything, while others can only upload and read certain categories. We'll make sure to keep the structure flexible, just like your sense of humor.
And finally, let's not forget about the costs and quality. We'll pay close attention to application performance and stay within your budget limits. No upfront payment required, because we believe in proving our worth through successful completion of tests. And don't worry, we