Funny german phrasesроботи

I'm seeking a professional, German-speaking well-versed in organizing training sessions, from single events to comprehensive learning and development programs. The trainings primarily encompass leadership (soft skills), technical, and hard skills like finance. The participants are predominantly mid-level and senior managers, along with CEOs. Key Responsibilities: - Communicate with the client to clarify expectations and deadlines - Organizing comprehensive training on various aspects of leadership including communication skills, team management, decision making, and more. - Liaise with trainers to obtain and distribute training agendas - Send materials to the client or participants as necessary Deliverables: - Alignment with client - Collect in collaboration with our traine...

I'm looking for a talented and creative video editor to help me transform my gameplay footage into entertaining, action-packed, short (15-20 minute) videos with a sprinkling of funny meme clips.

I have a new task that involves data annotation in German. There are 373 items to be completed by the end of this week or early next week at the latest. The task should take around 20 hours (approximately 3 minutes per item). The task is specifically focused on text annotation, and requires entity linking. You will be examining pieces of text and linking entities to their corresponding references. Ideal skills for this task include: - Native speaker of German - Experience with text annotation - Attention to detail and accuracy I'm looking for someone who can deliver quality work within the deadline.

Beschreibung: Wir suchen motivierte Telefonakquisiteure (m/w/d), die uns dabei unterstützen, qualifizierte vietnamesische Fachkräfte und Auszubildende an deutsche Unternehmen zu vermitteln. Mit unserem bewährten Konzept und umfassenden Service bieten wir Unternehmen nachhaltige Lösungen für den Fachkräftemangel – und dir eine attraktive Erfolgsvergütung! Was wir bieten: • Erfolgsbasierte Vergütung: Für jede erfolgreich vermittelte Fachkraft oder jeden Auszubildenden zahlen wir 500 € pro Abschluss. • Zugang zu einem breiten Portfolio an gefragten Berufen, z. B.: • Gesundheitswesen (z. B. Krankenpflegehelfer, Krankenschwestern) • Handwerk (z. B. Anlagenmechaniker, Schweißer, Elektroniker) • Logistik,...

...com/ should update in Wikipedia when the original updates as when these paintings sell, they are removed from that page and new ones are added. Same goes for the ---------------------------------- SEO work for the new Wikipedia page, the original page and for general Google search for certain search phrases and prompts. ---------------------------------- - All the information needed is in the artist's existing page and an additional resume/CV (You will be provided to the freelancer who gets the contract!). - The exhibitions, educational institutions etc. should be referenced and linked on the bottom or when mentioned anywhere within the pages (similar to the sample page of P. Picasso. - Also a

Duties: - Copy/Paste predefined questions into ChatGPT and then Copy/Paste the quotes back into the Google Slides. - Ensure accurate Quote Attribution: Into a ready-made Google Docs file including author name, Quote Text, Source and Year (Please see the image attached). - Use Creative Commons to ensure correct images are used in each slide related to the famous German Person and Copy/Paste relevant details including Name, Title, Author, Source/Link and License into ready-made Google Docs (Please see the image attached). - You can use my predefined guidelines to complete data entry of Country Specific Content for Germany. Reward: - If you prove yourself to be an excellent worker and complete this work to the required standard there is a good chance I would rehire you. The deadline ...

I'm in need of a German speaker who can communicate with Deutsche Rentenversicherung (DRV) officials on my behalf. The purpose of this communication is to get status updates on the applications of my clients, specifically 1-5 clients. Ideal Skills: - Fluent in German, both spoken and written - Excellent communication skills - Knowledge of DRV processes would be an advantage - Professional and discreet demeanor Please bid if you are able to assist.

I'm looking for a talented artist who can create a realistic yet cringe-worthy piece of art of myself. The catch? It needs to be funny. Key Elements: - Exaggerated facial expressions: I want my face to be blown out of proportion in a humorous way. - Ridiculous clothing: Think over-the-top, absurd outfits that you would typically see in cringe-inducing situations. - Awkward poses: The pose needs to be somewhat uncomfortable and out of place, contributing to the 'cringe' factor. The background should be a relatable, everyday setting, creating a contrast with the absurdity of the main subject. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in realistic style of illustration - Ability to capture and exaggerate facial expressions - Creativity in designing ludicrous outfits - Experience ...

...situations comparing past & present presenting different perspectives on the topic universal/cultural significance background information--either personal or historical research--quotes, outside sources evaluation of the thing (may demonstrate how your opinion changed) "I give (this thing) # stars." Specific Tools strong vocabulary--powerful (sometimes provocative) word choices and descriptive phrases questions dialogue metaphors comparisons repetition of key ideas and terms data/statistics references/quotes from many different types of soucres of information, based on what makes sense for the topic footnotes extra space to show section shift italics or all caps to help add voice & emphasis Voice/Tone is conversational (addresses readers directly i...

I'm seeking a video editor for our educational German Youtube channel. The videos are more than 10 minutes long and require a dynamic and fast-paced editing style. Key Responsibilities: - Edit and enhance raw footage into engaging educational content. - Implement a fast-paced editing style to maintain viewer engagement. - Adhere to our branding and content guidelines. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in video editing software (e.g., Adobe Premiere Pro, Final Cut Pro). - Experience with educational content editing. - Native or fluent German speaker with understanding of the language nuances. - Ability to edit in a dynamic, fast-paced style. This video can be used as a guidline due to me wanting my videos to be in this exact style : Note! The subtitles

I'm looking for a skilled UI/UX designer who can create a sleek and modern design for a comprehensive language exam and course preparation platform. Key aspects of this project include: - Supporting multiple languages (English, Spanish, French, German) - Offering sections for reading, writing, speaking, listening, and grammar - Catering to a diverse target audience of students, teachers, language learners, and language schools The ideal candidate should have: - Extensive experience in UI/UX design for educational platforms - Proficiency in creating multi-language interfaces - Understanding of the different needs and preferences of students, teachers, language learners, and language schools - A keen eye for modern and engaging design aesthetics - Strong communication skills...

I'm looking for native German speakers to participate in audio conversations over Zoom. The primary purpose of these recordings is for speech recognition training. Key Requirements: - Participants should be engaging in discussions around daily life activities. - Each conversation session should last 30 minutes. - The interactions need to be natural and conversational. Ideal skills and experience: - Being a native German speaker is a must. - Prior experience in participating in recordings for speech recognition training would be an advantage. - Ability to discuss various daily life topics in an engaging manner. Please note that the conversations will take place between two individuals, so you will need to coordinate with another native speaker.

I'm facing an issue with my K-Medoids clustering. I have two phrases that share similar words, but are not similar as a whole, causing overlaps in the clustering process. I used Sentence-Transformers for semantic similarity and cosine distance for the distance measure. The main goal is to increase the accuracy of the clustering. I'm open to suggestions for alternative clustering algorithms that could better handle this situation. Ideal skills for this project include: - Expertise in various clustering algorithms - Proficiency in Python and familiar with the Sentence-Transformers library - Strong understanding of semantic similarity and distance measures - Experience in improving clustering processes and increasing accuracy.

I need a booth assistant focused on customer interaction and support. The primary role involves greeting attendees and addressing initial inquiries. I am looking for someone who can: - Warmly greet visitors - Address initial questions and concerns Key skills and experience for this job in...support. The primary role involves greeting attendees and addressing initial inquiries. I am looking for someone who can: - Warmly greet visitors - Address initial questions and concerns Key skills and experience for this job include: - Excellent interpersonal and communication skills - Experience in customer service or public-facing roles - Ability to engage and connect with a diverse audience - German and English communication skills Assist in Inhorgenta Munich from 21 Feb to 24 Feb from ...

I'm looking for a native German speaker to handle incoming customer queries over the phone. The expected volume is more than 50 calls per day. Key Responsibilities: - Providing product information to customers. - Offering technical support to users. Ideal Skills: - Fluent in German (native speaker preferred). - Excellent communication skills. - Experience in customer service. - Knowledge of technical support processes. The goal is to provide exceptional aftersales service and customer support, ensuring every caller's query is handled with professionalism and care.

Hi, could you translate this texts from German to 5 languages (ES, IT, UK, NL, FR). Please, use keywords (highlighted in red) in yours translations.

...Entrepreneur (IE) with registering for German VAT and EORI numbers. The business imports goods from China to a warehouse in Germany and sells across multiple EU countries, including the UK. Responsibilities: • Register the business for German VAT and EORI numbers • Advise on VAT compliance, reporting obligations, and import VAT (19%) • Clarify whether monthly VAT filings are required and assist with compliance • Provide guidance on the One-Stop-Shop (OSS) scheme for EU-wide sales • Ensure proper VAT payments and compliance for imported goods and EU distribution • Assist with any additional requirements (translations, notarizations, etc.) Requirements: • Experience with German VAT registration for non-EU business...

I'm a writer, poet, and novelist looking for someone to help translate my text, originally written in C...Cockney, Geordie, Jamaican and Caribbean Standard English, Liverpool Scouse, and Mackem dialects. The story is humorous and satirical, and it’s crucial to maintain the tone of speech. Task of hilarity: Translate the text into Cockney, Geordie, Caribbean Standard English, Liverpool Scouse and Mackem dialects. Translate and proofread into Danish, Portuguese, Swedish, Greenlandic, Norwegian and German. Translation into Welsh, Irish, Gaelic, and Cornish (Kernewek) will be much appreciated. The text is not long and pretty simple, exactly 208 words, and it's a snippet from a new novel, a humorous and satirical short story. Budget: €0.03 per word translated ...

I'm looking for a Photoshop whizz who can create a satirical spoof ad for a local business. The ad is intended for a local free magazine and should be so over-the-top and badly done that it’s funny. Key Components: - The ad should be a trade advert for a local business. - It should use over-the-top exaggeration to convey its humor. - The visuals should incorporate badly edited photos to emphasise the comedic aspect. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in Photoshop is crucial. - A knack for visual humour and satire would be beneficial. - Experience with creating print media would be a plus. Please note, the aim is not to offend but to entertain. The ad should look deliberately comically bad, so freelancers with a good understanding of absurdist humour and parody will be at an ...

I need a freelancer to convert a larage 25mb .apkg file from AnkiNotes into an Excel file. there is around 1765 words of vocabulary (german to english) Requirements: - Extract the metadata from the .apkg file, such as tags and creation dates. - Organize the extracted data in the Excel file with the German in one column and the English equivalent in the other. - Use standard headers in the Excel file with German and English columns. - if there is audio or images, remove it, i just want the translations

I need a freelancer to convert a larage 25mb .apkg file from AnkiNotes into an Excel file. there is around 1765 words of vocabulary (german to english) Requirements: - Extract the metadata from the .apkg file, such as tags and creation dates. - Organize the extracted data in the Excel file with the German in one column and the English equivalent in the other. - Use standard headers in the Excel file with German and English columns. - if there is audio or images, remove it, i just want the translations Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in data extraction and Excel. - Familiarity with AnkiNotes or similar software. - Attention to detail to ensure the data is accurately converted and organized.

Edit website: ADD Buttons. change the domain, the infrastructure is already there, import, implement and link. Insert and change text in English/German language file. Delete and edit icons etc. Thank you for the offer

...lively theme. Use color palettes and animations to distinguish between different challenge levels (Easy, Average, Difficult). Riddle and Emoji Challenge Integration: - Seamlessly integrate riddles and emoji puzzles into the video with text animations, sound cues, and visuals. Ensure transitions between challenges are smooth and engaging. Bloopers Section: - Create a bloopers reel showcasing the funny and candid moments from the shoot. Ending Scene: Wrap up the video with celebratory animations, a thank-you message, and a closing jingle as per the storyboard. Ideal Candidate: - Proficient in video editing software (e.g., Adobe Premiere Pro, Final Cut Pro, After Effects). - Experienced in creating vibrant, humorous, and modern videos with an engaging flow. - Skilled in adding a...

I'm looking for a captivating adventure story aimed at children under 10. The story should be filled with humor, making it an enjoyable read for both kids and adults. Key Requirements: - The story should have a strong adventure theme, engaging young readers with thrilling escapades. - The writing style should be humorous, incorporating funny scenarios and characters that will make kids laugh. - Experience in writing children's literature is preferred, with a portfolio of previously published or well-received works. - Understanding of the target age group's interests and comprehension levels is essential to create a relatable and enjoyable story.

I am a recent graduate in foreign languages with a C2 level proficiency. I am fluent in speaking and writing in multiple languages, making me an ideal cand...foreign languages with a C2 level proficiency. I am fluent in speaking and writing in multiple languages, making me an ideal candidate for the role of a translator. I have consistently completed all projects ahead of deadlines, showcasing my strong work ethic and time management skills. Languages Proficiency: - English to Spanish - Spanish to English - French to English - Italian to English - German to English Industry Experience: - Legal documents - Medical content - Technical manuals - General content With this extensive language proficiency and diverse industry experience, I believe I can deliver high-quality translation...

...concept in mind, and your task will be to bring this vision to life. The name of our car dealer is ”BEST GERMANY AUTOS”. All cars are imported from Germany. In the attach you can see one example. PLEASE CHECK IT BEFORE READING! The ”shield” from the back of the car should be replaced with one minimalist shape of land/country Germany. The car in the image should be replaced with one representative german car (I think BMW or Volkswagen will be perfect). The text in the image will be replaced with our car dealership name: BEST GERMANY AUTOS Key Elements: - The logo should incorporate a car graphic and our company name. Color Scheme: - The logo should utilize the colors of Germany's flag. We will award the creator of the logo who fits better our busi...

I urgently need a fluent German-speaking professional to generate leads for an IT workspace solution. The job entails making calls for 5 days straight. Key Responsibilities: - Generate qualified leads from small to medium enterprises (SMEs) across Germany - Make calls for lead generation - Maintain honesty and integrity throughout the process Ideal Skills and Experience: - Fluency in German at a business level - Prior experience in lead generation, ideally within the IT sector - Excellent communication skills - Ability to generate qualified leads - Integrity and honesty in business dealings Please reach out if you can start immediately and have the required skills.

Automated Functions: Bots can automatically moderate chats by deleting inappropriate messages, banning users, or applying time-outs. Customization: Many bots allow you to customize commands, settings, and responses b...updates, reminders, notifications, or even translation services. Leveling Systems: Many bots allow for gamification within the server by assigning XP and leveling up based on user activity. API Integrations: Bots can integrate external APIs to pull real-time information such as gaming stats, news, stock prices, or cryptocurrency values. Custom Commands: You can configure bots to respond to specific phrases or create shortcuts for frequently used commands. Welcome Messages: Bots can greet new members with welcome messages and assign roles automatically when they join t...

...moments to share insights, opinions, or critiques. Enhance engagement with features like "celebrities" facial creations or (animated avatars) to the top righthand corner. Incorporate Educational Insights: Break down video concepts with additional depth, examples, and context. Create Parodies or Satire: Humorously reinterpret videos while respecting the original content. Use exaggerated elements, funny voiceovers, or humorous viewer comments to add a unique twist. Enhance Visuals and Audio: Add Graphics or Animations: Use overlays, captions, infographics, or custom animations to highlight key points. Alter Audio: Replace background music with royalty-free tracks, add sound effects, and ensure all audio elements comply with copyright laws. Experiment with Creative ...

I'm in need of professionally written SEO articles aimed at increasing my website traffic. The articles should target the general public, so they should be easily comprehensible yet informative. Key Requirements: - **SEO Expertise**: The articles should be optimized for search engines, using relevant keywords and phrases without compromising the quality of the content. - **Audience Awareness**: The content should cater to the general public, balancing complexity and simplicity to ensure it is engaging for all. - **Professional Tone**: The writing style should be informative and professional, establishing credibility while still being accessible. Ideal freelancers for this project would have a strong background in SEO, content writing, and a knack for understanding and target...

We will implement the following features to enhance your system: EURO/CENT Format: Display amounts as 700.00, 1,250.10, or 250,750.20 using a period for thousands and a comma for decimals, applied system-wide. Default Language: Set German as the default language upon login, eliminating manual adjustments. Colleague References: Add a "NEW REF" button to create references for colleagues, with options to assign them and define their number range. Immediate Data Availability: Fix the issue where new entries (clients, merchants, etc.) require a page reload to appear. Employee Signatures: Allow employees to upload their signatures in settings, displayed on generated guarantees. Customs Documents: Replace "NMH" with "Hess" in the customs document management s...

I'm seeking a highly skilled software developer fluent in German to help create a dynamic social networking web application. Key responsibilities: - Design and develop the core functionalities of the application, focusing on user profiles. - Collaborate on creating a seamless, engaging user experience. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in web application development - Previous experience in creating social networking sites - Fluent in German This project is perfect for a developer who is not only technically proficient but also understands the nuances of creating a user-friendly social networking platform. If you have experience in this field and can communicate effectively in German, I would love to hear from you.

I'm looking for a developer to help me create a low-cost app for both iOS and Android. This app will allow users to request services like tarot, astrology, numerology and more, all answered by an AI using a talking avatar in different languages. Key Features: - Cross-Platform: Must be compatible with both iOS and Android - Multilingual: The avatar should support English, Spanish, and German - Variety of Services: The AI should provide a range of services, including but not limited to tarot readings, astrology readings, numerology readings, simbology, and dream interpretations. - Affordable: The app should be designed with a low-cost model in mind, as I have a limited budget. - Integrated Payment System: A seamless and secure payment system is essential. Ideal Skills...

I'm organizing a family reunion and need a modern-style, multi-layered .png design for our T-shirts. The design should incorporate: - Our family name - The year of the reunion - The location of the reunion I have a few images that I would like to be merged into the design. Additionally, there should be some text included, but the exact words and phrases will need to be finalized together. Ideal skills for this project include graphic design, experience with creating T-shirt designs, and proficiency with design software. A good understanding of modern design aesthetics is essential. I look forward to seeing your proposals.

I'm looking for a video editor to take clips from my livestreams and recorded content and edit them into YouTube Shorts and full-length YouTube videos. Content Overview: - The source material includes game development content, gameplay, and discussions. - The primary aim is to produce a high volume of YouTube shorts. Editing Focus: - I would like the edited content to include highlight reels, funny moments, and 'tip and tricks' segments. - As well as gameplay highlights, in-depth game discussions and game development insights. Ideal Candidate: - Experience in video editing, particularly for YouTube and YouTube Shorts. - Familiarity with gaming content and culture. - Ability to identify and compile engaging content. - Creativity in editing to maintain viewer interes...

I have a collection of Google Meet/Zoom recorded videos that need to be transformed into funny, engaging content. The target audience for these videos are teens, so the humor should be relatable and appealing to this age group. Key Requirements: - Editing these videos with a variety of sound effects and visual effects to enhance the humor and entertainment value - A creative approach to make the video content funny and engaging Ideal Skills: - Experience in video editing, preferably with online meeting recordings - Familiarity with teen culture to create relatable humor - Proficiency in adding sound and visual effects to enhance comedic timing Please note, while the style of humor hasn't been specifically defined, your creativity and understanding of teen humor will ...

I'm looking for a professional video editor and director who can help me create a high-quality promotional video for my product. The video will primarily be a product showcase, aimed at general consumers. Key Responsibilities: - Conceptualize and script the video - Film and edit the video - Incorporate animations, graphics, and music as necessary - Make it professional but it can have some funny parts if needed Ideal Skills: - Proven experience in creating product showcase videos - Excellent video editing and directing skills - Ability to understand and cater to a general consumer audience I hope to work with someone who can help me create an engaging and persuasive video that can effectively promote my product. My company or business name I want to promote is ''...

...open-source tools, avoiding paid APIs or developer tools. Responsibilities: • Profile Monitoring on X: • Track a predefined list of X accounts, including influencers, crypto enthusiasts, and meme-focused profiles. • Focus on posts mentioning memecoin launches, using hashtags like #memecoin and phrases such as “launch,” “new coin,” or other relevant crypto-related terms. • Real-Time Detection: • Implement functionality to scan posts in real-time to detect mentions of new tokens, key hashtags, or phrases signaling a memecoin launch. • Ensure quick and accurate identification of relevant updates. • Telegram Notifications: • Send instant alerts to a Telegram channel when a relevant post is detected. &bul...

I'm seeking a professional Reputation Management Agency or specialist with a knack for online Reputation Management. The primary task will be generating positive reviews and blog comments about our company in the German language. Requirements: - Expert in reputation management - Proficient in German - Experience with creating reviews and blog comments Your application should highlight: - Your experience in reputation management - Any relevant past projects you have worked on - Your understanding of the German online landscape Please note, I need this project completed ASAP. If you can help, I'd love to hear from you.

Please don't send me some logo generator stuff!!!!!! I will delete this immediately. Only individual, proper logos will be considered. For a construction company I need a logo in 2 languages: H&W IMMOBILIEN - Deutsche Bauqualität auf Zypern. and H&W PROPERTIES - German construction quality in Cyprus. The logo shall be classic and simple and have some connection with construction. I'm in search of a talented professional logo designer to create a classic and timeless logo for my construction company. The logo should include our company name, a symbol or icon, as well as our tagline. - Ideal Skills: Graphic Design, Logo Design, Branding - Experience: Prior work with construction or related industry logos will be highly regarded. This project demands creat...

Будь ласка, зареєструйтесь або увійдіть в систему для перегляду деталей.

I want video to be really funny.

One shorts video for $15. Transform existing video into humorous, slapstick-style YouTube short

...design. • The target audience is law students preparing for the UK bar exam. The video must be instructive, engaging, and designed to help students learn and retain the content. • The script for the first episode is included as a separate attachment. Please review it thoroughly before submitting your proposal. • In the script, key lines or phrases are highlighted or bolded. You are welcome to propose creative ways to visually present these phrases in the video. • A short sample video, labeled ‘Sample One,’ is provided as an attachment. Please treat this as a reference or inspiration only—feel free to develop your own unique ideas. However, before starting the project, ensure the characters, themes, and overall style are confirmed w...

Будь ласка, зареєструйтесь або увійдіть в систему для перегляду деталей.

I'm looking for a versatile voice talent for an animation pilot. The story is a love story aimed at 6 to 11 year-olds, featuring a young girl and boy, along with a host of animals and parents. Key Requirements: - Distinct voices for 8 or more characters, including animals and parents - A funny, playful tone for animals - Normal, relatable voices for kids and parents Ideal Skills and Experience: - Previous experience in children's animation voice work - Ability to convey a range of emotions and tones - Creative and engaging voice delivery

...products and shows his potential european customers a physical contact location in Europe (the virtual office in our business center as a european branch) and displays a european contact telephone number (calls are automatically redirected to the US freelancer, teleworker or small and medium-sized enterprise owner's telephone number, or he is assisted in up to 5 languages (English, Spanish, French, German and Italian) by a tele-secretary and notified by email about the call to the US freelancer, teleworker or small and medium-sized enterprise owner), the european customer's trust increases exponentially, making it easier for the US freelancer, teleworker or small and medium-sized enterprise owner to sell his services or products. We need an “Appointment Setter&rd...

...enhance the text on your website. Proposal for Content Editing: Content Review and Analysis: I will start by conducting a thorough review of your existing content to understand the core messages and identify areas for enhancement. Persuasive Tone Implementation: Leveraging my experience in persuasive writing, I will refine the tone of your content to ensure it is more engaging, focusing on key phrases and structuring that influence reader behavior and enhance engagement. Optimization for Web: Understanding web content requirements, I will ensure that all content is not only persuasive but also optimized for readability and SEO, enhancing its visibility and effectiveness. Collaborative Revisions: I believe in a collaborative approach to editing. I will work closely with you t...

NEW MESSAGE Recreate or resketch the same logo and MINIMALISE it as much as possible. Use only two c...You can redesign the same concept or draw a similar concept but it should be along the same line as the attached images. ---------------------- 1-We need a Flat & minimalistic logo. 2-The website is about painting, plumbing, and other home maintenance services like this () 3-Our company name is "Happymode Technical Services LLC" doing home maintenance services. 4-We need a funny character holding a paint roller in this hand similar to the images provided. 5-We need a FLAT minimalistic logo. 6-Our main website color is blue. The logo should be in blue and white color. We may need some adjustments in the final design as well. We will need the source file. Happy con...

...design. • The target audience is law students preparing for the UK bar exam. The video must be instructive, engaging, and designed to help students learn and retain the content. • The script for the first episode is included as a separate attachment. Please review it thoroughly before submitting your proposal. • In the script, key lines or phrases are highlighted or bolded. You are welcome to propose creative ways to visually present these phrases in the video. • A short sample video, labeled ‘Sample One,’ is provided as an attachment. Please treat this as a reference or inspiration only—feel free to develop your own unique ideas. However, before starting the project, ensure the characters, themes, and overall style are confirmed w...