yingyue

He took one step. Another, and another, another - away from those he had known. Away from those who had known him. Away  from those who had failed him. Away from those he had failed.He took step after heavy step, each footfall falling short of how heavy his own heart was. Each heel that struck the ground a strike to his own belaboured heart.He kept going until he was no more than a memory. And still he kept on going. And then he was no more. And then he never was.

Alight, but not on fire. Burn bright, but don't inspire. Can't fight; I am a liar.- the False Flame

I looked up into the moonless sky and wondered where my life had gone. It was cold and dark all around me; it was cold and dark within me too. A large emptiness yawned - a deep, welcoming abyss I was overwhelming drawn to despite every warning in my head. But the heart wants what it wants.And it wanted you. Nay - wants! It is not over. Stretching my hands into gloom, I reach for your image in my mind and stroke your hair and cheeks with a hand that even I can't see. I remember the soft warmth of your skin and your lingering scent on my fingertips. My heart breaks a little more in its frigid chamber.The sunrises in all its hues of grey, rev...

To Whom it may concern,When I die, don't donate my organs. Don't let my taint corrupt another in their shot at a new life. They're probably unfit for use anyway.Give me a biodegradable casket. Or a recyclable bag. Don't waste a good tree and consume more of the earth's limited resource to burn what's left of me.Let there be no wake, no public service, no orbituary. If my ashes must sit in a columbarium, let the slate just say "Occupied". Let my passing be silent; I will go unnoticed in death as I did in life.If anything, pass around a list to the ones who knew me most and each write down one item that I own that they'd want. Just say that ...

We sit across from each other, you with a mouth full of beef and mushrooms and I working my way through a crispy slice of turkey bacon. Between us is a dwindling pile of golden fries and a growing pile of oil-soaked serviettes. We get a second cup of salsa. You are full of excitement learning that we can use a single paper cup to hold so much more than 3 saucers combined.You smile through the burger; something you don’t get often. It is a treat, something you’ll force yourself to finish even though you’re too full to move and getting sleepier by the minute. You’ll clear a space and lay your head down on the table, and I’ll smile.The cracke...

She must abhor him. And she would be right to do so. It hurt to think about, but what could he say or do? He knew he wasn’t a monster, but neither was any kind of white knight in shining armour riding in on a noble steed. Maybe once he could have been the poor man’s version of that, but now every inch of steel was scuffed and burnt, and the poor horse was long dead. This wretched man had to walk just about everywhere he went.He supposed it came with perfection. She was, after all a Lady. She had things to do; and dealing with a lowly pawn likely held as little appeal and purpose as stroking a water leech. She was the reclaimed daughter of ...

She stands – a vision of splendour, the one for whom I rally and fight. Because she is, I will be.Whether not a question of whether I live or die is, it’s whether she gets to smile or cry. For her to live I’ll brave the doubts and darkness, engage any sword, and take any spear. If her heart beats my soul is willing, my mind and body will face fire and fear.As long as she has a future, a life beyond these war-torn lands. As long as she finds her peace, happiness that I’ll win with these hands. Maybe one day, she – the purity that I love so much, will be able to forgive this criminal.

The future is something the gods promise to others.In the big book of great endings I’m a footnote in the grand design of people achieving their goals; I don’t figure in the final act. As soon as my purpose is served I’ll be ordered out to be a stepping stone for yet another favoured child; seeing and partaking of their successes isn’t part of the plan for me.I know it’s said we’re meant for greater things, but where I’ve been and where I am – I cannot see or agree.Am I bitter? Maybe. Or maybe I’ve just taken on the jaded worldview of a cynical agent; the beast on the end of a very long leash.