XXmusicloverbabyXX

"Why are you Crying?" "Nothing is wrong, but everything is wrong at the same time. I want to draw and get rid of this feeling, but I just can't. I don't have any idea what to draw because I have no idea how I'm feeling. All I really know is that there is this knot- or this hole- or this pit in my stomach and there's this pain in my chest every time I take a breath and the dark seems to make everything worse. I feel my heart beating, not really loud, not really hard, but really really fast. My teeth are chattering although I'm sweating and if I stand still my insides feel like they're shaking. When I hold out my hands to check and see somet...

I've been asked, "why are you always sad?" and I say- "I don't know... I don't know... I haven't got the slightest clue, but what are you and I and us to do about it? It's the same as every day, so to make YOU feel more comfortable, I'll put on the mask with a painted smile. I'll try to ignore the pain, all the while you're on and on about useless bile. I don't know why I'm so sad all the time, but what I do know is that every day, day after day, I wake up and feel like an absolute pile of shit- and that's become my normal feeling. It's my routine, your normal content-ness is a dream to me that I fear I will never once in my life achieve. ...

An Amazingly Wonderful and Crazy Friend Once Told Me: “Love isn’t just about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend you snuggle & baby talk to. Love isn’t a corny song that a drunk guy wrote about a girl he met the other day. Love is something so much more. Love is constantly thinking about someone, worrying about them & caring about them, No matter what they do. Love is laughing when they laugh, Sobbing when they cry, Listening when they’re upset, & Listening when they speak, & Always understanding, hoping & dreaming with them. Love is telling them they’re beautiful when they don’t feel it. Love is telling the person to stop when th...

The moon cannot create it's own light.  When we see it, it's reflecting the light that was stolen from the sun.  Sometimes that must not be enough,  because every night, as he rises, the man on the moon likes to string me up with a noose and steal away my light. He likes to leave me in the shadow that he casts, Where the demons and nightmares feast at last. When the light is almost gone and I'm ready to give up my fight,  The sun will come and refuel my light.  Brighter than before, stronger in every way. Until the moon rises, I must fight another day. 

Okay, so the only reason I'm really writing this is because my history teacher broke my heart with his bigotry yesterday. Basically he went along with a minority population of students that were quoting a movie, and it went something like this: Kameron: "The only thing that comes from Texas is..." *points to teacher* Teacher: "Steers and queers." Then half the class (really more of a fourth) start laughing. Now I'm not sure what i did to get their attention, I kinda had a slight rage black out, All I really remember is giving my teacher that, I WILL MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, kind of face. and also the WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU face. ...

"It's disgusting-how I love you-" I feel sick when I think of what you could do to me. I start to gag when I think of what you've already done. I cringe when I see you smiling, as if nothing ever mattered or as if nothing happened, but of course I only see your smile in our old photos. I cry over our photos, our messages, our notes....  Because its all swept away as if it never happened. I hyperventilate, on the verge of collapse, when the thoughts of our possible future rise to the forefront of my mind. I can't sleep for the nightmares that haunt me. I can't eat for the sickness that's plagued me. I can only cry at the memory of what we w...

When all the walls fall,  When tears seem to be all but dry, When everything you've ever built crumbles on top of you,  What is left?  Who is left?  No one is there except you.  You are alone. There is no hope, at least that is how it seems.  It seems that no one is here, and that no one cares.  Being alone in such harsh conditions and numb to the feelings that you know you should have.  Numb to the insults  Numb to the attacks  Numb to the destruction and chaos that is obviously in your soul.  Apathetic to the pain of the world  Apathetic towards your physical pain.  The only thing you worry about is when will this end.  You're chest hu...