xaviir20

So for everyone wondering I'm doing well and feeling much better now that I am living in PR with my grandparents and them helping me to mature to become more independent and have been talking to my psychologist after my trauma and episode I had with my female parent which I will not give any details nor want to talk about. Now I'm setting .y goals on getting a new job to work on the new year and focus on being myself and enjoy my life to the fullest extent until the end when I get old if it wasn't for my grandparents and family members who saved me in FL I wouldn't be here nor walking on this earth anymore but be either six feet under or cremated into nothing but ash and be forgotten from existence. Thanks to rehabilitation things are going well and in time and process and all this time I have been overprotected and my eyes covered from the truth no thanks to her and turned against me as she is sick in the head with her delusions and tried to cage me like an animal by taking away my freedom for something I didn't do I gave her my love and support and help as a good son who worried for their parents and what did she do she crushed it ad traded a diamond for a penny and now that I am far away gone from her she will spend the rest of her life staying broken as she likes to be and pay the consequences of her actions as she had her chance to have something beautiful and someone who would appreciate and be there to help out and she blew it. Now her problems and her ego is not my business nor concern to fix as I am an adult man as a twenty six year old and figured that I don't need someone to comfort me I rather do things my own way than to rely on people who don't appreciate me and that is what I will continue to do and embrace life on my own terms and the most part I learned that silence is the biggest weapon and loudest noise anyone could ever face so to everyone I appreciate some of you having some concerns I didn't want to post any new journals because I don't want to be a bother or thorn about it but yes I am doing well and much better my depression and mental health is gone and as I live with my family members in PR and keep being independent and mature I will thrive my life to the fullest extent without having anyone trying to bring harm or take away my peace and my freedom ever again I will be too far gone as the bad memories of what happened to me fade away like a distant memory and I shall continue making new drawings and post them as I have alway been doing even though I may not be popular I don't expect to be as one I thank you all for some good comments and positive feedbacks from you all I will not give up my goals nor let anyone try to put me on the ground I will take life head on and move forward as world and time moves forward and spins around.

Hello everyone it's me I am sorry for not posting a new journal for like a long while it may have seen like forever but I have been dealing with issues with life and mental health problems over the past year but I am feeling all good and much better with my family members in PR living with them and focusing on important things in life to move forward. I am sorry for making you all worry I am taking a break at drawing for the moment but I will be posting new art soon enough I am glad that you are all doing OK too. Today it is my birthday I have become 26 years old and man I am starting to feel like I am getting old as time and the years fly by so fast but hey what can you do you gotta keep on moving forward time never runs backwards and gotta live your life to the fullest and not waste it on unnecessary things that don't help you focus and defend yourself from challenges and obstacles that comes in your way everyday. If anyone wants to make a drawing for me I do not mind at all just ask me and I will accept it, you guys are awesome hope you all have a good day, night, evening or afternoon even if we may not know each other in person but I know that you guys are not a bad influence and are good even if our families don't like us talking to each other such as on discord or any other we gotta stay safe and watch who are talking to and ignore the negativity and move on and not let it get to us or think about it and focus on the main goal, road and future and good life while still living on this earth even if it is bad and dark but we learn to survive and live our lives to the fullest in our own ways. I thank you all for the faves and comments you guys give on my drawings and the positivity as well i appreciate the compliments about it really, have a great time everyone and god bless you all and stay safe^^.

It has been a while since I have written a new journal and posted here on DA but I won't bother anyone trying to read this since they are not interested or cares but those who do will know by now. Yes I am going back to Florida moving out with my mom this time after having a 2 weeks of vacation to new jersey with my grandparents to see some family members was a good time but when I stayed a few days at my step mom's house having some time and bond with my biological brothers it took a heavy toll and burden on me I was already sad and down and cried when I held onto my deceased father's ashes in my arms and prayed a lot and I have forgiven him for the things he has done sometimes I feel like I am nothing but a failure to him a failed experiment bringing disappointment nothing more but I don't think that is true instead he sees me maybe as a success with my own life making my own decisions and choices and he would be proud of me....I hope so. On this coming tuesday on the 22 of August I am going to be back to Florida and stay with my mom this time it has been now 4 years staying with my grandparents in puerto rico I tried some stuff like a job or study but it didn't work out for me and I don't like how puerto rico is now still in poverty and a lot of crime and murder everyday but I don't look into it for so much and never hear news about what happens so it doesn't make me feel more down and depressed as I move on forward. I may be happy to be back at Florida but not with my life when my mom is gone I don't know what to do with myself and don't like to be alone and have a lot of anxiety and stress and depression making me down and with things I can't handle on my own and don't like to deal with so I don't how long I will last till I break but if I do then I wouldn't be in this world anymore and be at peace instead it was a nice and honor to have have fun in DA and FA I may not talk or socialize a lot with anyone cause no one talks to me or wants to or bothers but I leave them be and understand that they are busy and have no time to talk and never interrupt them not that anyone cares about me anyway except some of my family of course and hate to be surrounded by judgemental people of the things that I like and do every time. If I'm not back then you all already may or may not know that I am long gone and I will never bother anyone ever again cause the new era and generation that we live in now is terrible and awful, the entertainment system is broken all the good things that we loved and grew up with is gone forever and bad people who are evil and greedy are ruining it turning it into their own corporations, the justice system is broken there is really no true justice you can't rely on the law and authorities anymore they are corrupted and only defend the evil and wicked while punishing the weak and the innocent for no reason when they try to stand for themselves and defend themselves you have to bring true justice by yourself and not rely nor trust anyone to help you, the woke and LGBT mob is ruining everyone and everything that we love including our friends and families and loved ones with their sick disgusting ideals and goals and turn people into their own image just for their own sick and disgusting desires for predators to enjoy and traumatize children and wash their minds so they can control them and those in America who are waking up are sick and tired of the nonsense going on. If any sick predators and pedophiles try to touch or groom my little brother I will not hesitate to kill them for good cause as an older brother of the family it is my and every older brother's duty to protect their youngest siblings from these sick freaks and abominations I don't care if I go to jail or prison wich I will happily go to. So yes I will be back in Florida in next week I hope you all understand me and what I say even if you don't but I may be happy on the outside but on the inside I'm not happy but trying to fight and keep myself in check and not go insane so I'm sorry to have written so long and bothered you all hope you all have a good day and may god bless you all and please be very careful wherever you are and go, hug your parents love them and your families and stay safe and do not go looking for trouble or let trouble find you so peace.