TallulahPLGrey

Rambles from the Mental Attic.

(Disclaimer... Not to be taken too seriously .... Possible Brain Rot)

Each Year I overkill goals I want to believe I can conquer.

Each Year I arrange a time limit for these well wished goals to be completed within.

And.....Each year I disappoint myself.

It's a problem.

Especially as I find it difficult... to plan ahead . Even tomorrow is unknown.

However I do try. As soon as the plan is thought..... those pesky vampires sneak in and suck the thoughts out.

You see there are many types of vampires. The most known - Those who feed of blood. And the not so known - Those who feed of thoughts/ memories.

Ever walked into a room and forgotten why you went in there in the first place?

Friggin Thought Vampires.

Like all Vampires. They hide in the shadows.

Vampires who suck your thoughts hide in the dark corners of your mind. Playing chess with tales of horror and despair... singing songs of your failure.

Here is a video Story all about it... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9V3TJoPDEg.

Back to reality.... the problem is myself. Nobody is accountable but myself.

Message to Myself... "I'm not happy with our friendship, It's not working. It's not you it's me? "

Ok that is getting confusing.

Moving along.....

To start ones day with positive aspirations that fall under your own control .... to not see them come to fruition can be soul destroying.

I set the goals..... and when I fail to complete those goals..... Any sense of a positive outcome are diluted.

I annoy myself.

Would it not be madness to keep going?

Why yes it would....And so I do!

If what I am proposing to do does not work when doing..... I change and evolve in an attempt to help proposed goal to "happen"

Well that is the plan. and well.... as this ramble is about how poor I am with plans. 'goals'..

The mere mention of the word 'Plan' seems rather mocking.

I digress...

It usually "All goes to shit". Lovely saying isn't it?

One of my favourite words to say when I mess up. Along with Fuckwit.

"Tallulah the Fuckwit". Suits me...

Anywho......

The truth is I rarely meet goals that are set with a time limit.

A Few For Example.

1) Goal - To awake at 5am to start the day . (Winter Time) Actuality - I awake at 7am

2) Goal - To have taken my daily walk by 9am. Actuality - Takes around 3pm

3) Goal - To work on sculptures . Actuality - I make clothes, Draw or Paint instead

4) Goal - To not eat after 5pm. Actuality - Baking Bread and Rustling up a Cheese and Garlic Toasties at 10pm

5) Goal - To not get caught up in daydreams . Actuality - I have no explanation or control of proposed goal....

6) To be in bed in an attempt to go to sleep by 10 pm ... after baking bread and making cheese toasties... still being fully awake..... if I sleep at all....... 3am bed time....

6) To spend less time thinking about what I'd like/should be doing and more time doing what I'm thinking with action. Actuality - I procrastinate.

These are all solvable.

and at some point... one day....it is possible I will set a goal. make a plan...and not fail...

Anything is possible....

I'll leave you here and see you there

Tallulah The Fuckwit

Also ... To the person who gifted me a Core membership. Thank you kindly. It does not show who gave the lovely gesture . I appreciate it. I am grateful. Thank you.

Hi all . Around 1 year ago I made the decision to pull back somewhat from social media and going online in general. A few reasons...

1. I set myself a task to complete my art studio renovation.

2. I had many projects I wanted to finally complete, be that oil paintings, Sculptures, Marionettes, Art Dolls etc

Those are the two main factors that needed my attention. Needed my time.

3. I also wanted to get out and travel a little around the UK. I have plans to go around Europe again in the future. However I've never really explored what the UK has to offer. So Xavier and I transformed our van into a travel home and we have been doing that. Named the van Olive Wilber or OW for short.... We went from Cornwall (Lands End) To John O'Groats (Scotland) and visited many of the County's in-between along the way. 

So my art studio is about 80% finished to a speck I'm happy with. After it was flooded a year or so ago it really needed sorting out. Projects are on track and New projects in progress. I've been offered some exhibition spaces however... I like being in control of my own art, and direction I want it to go in, and without the restraints that often come with exhibiting. Being free to create what I want, when I want without all this jumping on the band-waggon for what is "in fashion" or "trending" just to stay current. Have you seen the way I dress? The way my home is decorated? The music I listen too? I am really not interested if I am " on Trend" and I don't need to feel popular to feed my ego... My ego is quiet alright sitting in the corner humming to itself whilst watching the world Just because it is new and current.. does not mean it's better ... My humble opinion of course .(I didn't intend on going off on one but hey ho... O_o. )  So I'm undecided if I will accept those invitations to exhibit. I also secretly don't feel worthy... but shhh....haha let's pretend I'm a confident go getter who's ego is stuck to the highest ceiling looking down on everyone... especially that one sitting in the corner watching the world.... ok..... gone off track... I'm back....

sooo..... I started writing again. Picking up on an idea I started writing years ago for a few short stories . There often wasn't much to do during the evening whilst travelling and settling in for the night , so I started to write again... Me with my fancy dip pen and purple ink (the nib is chipped and it leaked everywhere it could but I love it) by flickery candle light , which is great when your eyesight is as terrible as mine... No eye strain what-so-ever *cough * All part of the experience and fun right?

O_o

I renovated part of our dressing room into a sewing space. I can now properly design and cut my patterns, use my tailors dummy and still have space to sew my clothes properly on the antique singer manual sewing machine Xavier and I fixed and renovated. I was so happy to have found this sewing machine. I felt the sewing machine was destined to become a part of my life.... But wow That was heck of a job... Finding all the replacement bits and bobs to rebuild it . I'm not in any rush to do that again. EVER!!! I was reminded by my own uneducated manner how utterly dumb I am at anything remotely mechanical. How I can make the most simplest of tasks far more difficult than ever needed to be.. Got there in the end...eventually.

Currently putting the finishing touches to the little red riding hood inspired winter coat I rustled up. To which Xavier retorted "Where the hell will you wear that fancy shit around here". (It's normally country folk and farmers in their wellies and wax coats . hence living on baron moorland you dress for the weather and terrain ) ....  "Prancing around the woods of course " .. was my reply with my most smug face 😉 NOT even joking.... My wellingtons are for "puddle dancing", my red riding coat for "bringing a dash of colour to the grey winter forest" whilst I dance, prance, run, climb my way to my destination. (Why merely walk down a path way when you can enjoy prancing and dancing like an idiot along it. Nobody is watching, and it may be that one day your legs may not work in such a way... if I make it to 100 maybe these legs will need to rest... if my mind doesn't rest first) .

I've gotten the depression under control. Keeping busy and not thinking or dwelling too much is key I find. It's interesting that I didn't make big changes to make big changes in life. "Keep on moving" If I find myself thinking too much I get up and do something... and once in a while I will allow myself time to make a ramble like this. Something to reflect upon. Something another person may understand or be motivated by.

That's all I have for this ramble that nobody asked or cared for 🙂. I'll leave you here and see you there.... Tallulah

Hi Fellow Forest Dwellers, Humans, Creatives, Thinkers, Witches, Poets and those who dance between the lights that shower our minds..... As you may have guessed by that intro I have no clue what I am writing O_o... However lets continue...

Firstly I would like to thank all who have checked in on your fellow basket case.... I appreciate your consideration and well wishes.  I am doing well and there is no need for concern. You never need to worry or concern yourself about me. My NOT being around much does not mean I am NOT around much.... It's ok to play in the shadows.... Plus I am still wandering around these forests and countryside of my home. Still foraging and drawing daily. Still falling out of trees and finding brambles and other treasures the forest likes to entwine into my hair. Still taking care of critters that enter my life. Still exploring this forever expanding bubble that is life....Still navigating life and finding balance.

 To shed some clarity on what is happening to this account here on DA and my little Youtube Channel..... well.. not much currently. However I am still popping in to show support to fellow creatives and your content.. This will not stop just because I am not uploading content myself.  I am not disappearing... Think of it like this...

Imagine I have found a wonderful space within the forest, all mossy and cosy but dry and I have placed myself there, with the sun shining upon me with a warm breeze ..... taking a lovely nap..... OK... ok....who am I kidding.... I am an erratic dot running within a hexagon , thats rolling within a circle that is bouncing within a triangle that is spinning within a box.. However.... a forest floor and a nap sounds more appealing to most So let us go with that

 I am getting off track again.....  More clarity is needed me thinks...  Let me try again...

I will be taking a break for the remainder of this year from uploading content on DA and Youtube. For I am preparing my old travel van to go out a wandering this world once again. Something I have not done in many a year. I also need to put serious time aside for Sculpting and Painting and finishing my art studio renovation ...  This takes much of my time. However I will return in 2025 to share those adventures, My Art, Sculpting/ oil paintings, Foraging, Exhibitions , my finished Studio Renovation and tips on how I achieved it... ...etc etc when I return to sharing content in 2025 and hope you will bare with me until this time...

 As always. I will leave you here and see you there....in the future... 2025

Tallulah

(regarding any grammar, spelling mistakes within this ramble explanation... I will not be correcting....my foot is already out the door as I type this last WuRD. :). )

Hi, In this offering I share a magical place I found through the woods " Castle Coch" Also known as "The Red Castle" We have many beautiful Castles in South Wales UK and Castle Coch is one of my favourites...  In this video I take you around the interior and share what a true artisan castle has to offer.  Click the photo to take you to the video on my youtube channel to watch.

I'll leave you here , and see you there.

The day eventually arrived that I uploaded the final drawing from my A drawing every day for 1 year in my JOS journal.

That makes 365 drawings,

Here is a timelapse for your interest.