Spacehums

It seems like every time I post some out of character update or whatever, I ruminate on the same things over and over. Trying to break out of molds of the past or heal my unrealistic expectations to leave room for something more. It's exhausting. It's as exhausting to read about it over and over as it is to write about it time and again. But we're back! Been a few years at least. I have so many stories stewing in my mind that I want to express, but I feel like I always fall short or fail to commit. I have grand ideas on how to talk about my goobers and the things I want them to become. I want to give them depth and be expressive! I want variety and all of these cool experiences, while also expanding my own skills and doing this thing that I enjoy. But that's... a lot. It's an obscene amount of pressure for myself just for a hobby. I've come to the point where I've put so many blockers between myself and making progress that I can't work on what I want without guilt. This isn't me

I'm still in this rut of wanting to "min-max" everything and not taking the time to just doodle random ideas that don't have larger purposes. I keep having this question of "what do I want the end product to be" in terms of ARPG characters and getting too wrapped up in what I need to do to get there. I spent several weeks not doing any art because I was busy, but also because even the thought of working on art made my skin itch. And what I did work on, I wasn't happy with. It felt like work and I already had too much on my plate to even deal with it. I'm hoping we're stepping into an upswing - I want to work on things again! I want to be active and happy and productive! Soon! Please, brain.