as long as i get up, then... - Chapter 1

It was a beautiful night.

No clouds plugged up the sky, like they usually did. Rarely did the moon appear but it had arrived earlier, and with it came its companions, the stars.

Unlike the moon, they didn't light up the Earth, even in the dark. They didn't bring much when it came to a night as dark as this; and yet, there was something about them that didn't compare to the rest of the universe. Not the clouds, not the moon, not even the infamous sun itself.

They were different. Peaceful.

Hopeful.

...And cold.

They burned out quickly when the dawn came, disappearing long before the moon (not that it ever disappeared, anyhow). They were outshone, by greater, more important sources of light.

Stars had a certain fragility to them. Even if they stayed, somewhere in the deep void of space while the daylight reined, they refused to shine until the darkness returned.

Even if they stayed, no one could tell anyway.

They were snuffed out by the world around them. They never lasted for long.

...And maybe rightfully so.

* * *

Chapter 1: tired.

* * *

Ever since coming to the surface, Papyrus was set on not only making friends with the humans, but also helping Frisk in their ambassador duties; and having officially chosen to be their mascot, there was no doubt he had a lot of work ahead of him.

For the most part, humans had been very welcoming to them, which was more than any of them could ask for. He didn't like to think about it but part of him had a feeling it wouldn't go as smoothly; though, that was just all the more reason to be happy!

...Kind of.

Not that he was complaining, or anything of the sort, but...

He wished there were other things that could change, too.

But that was being silly, so he kept that to himself. He was certain things would be okay, regardless.

...Right?

---

Today was the big day--and what a beautiful day it was! Papyrus could hardly wait, for today would be the day monsters were finally declared official citizens of Ebott; it was wonderful! It was exciting! It was...

...It was also a bit nerve-wracking, but still!

Oh, and his brother definitely had to see it too; regardless of his laziness he'd make sure to bring him, there was no way he'd let him miss out on something like this.

Finally, they arrived at the building, after ten minutes too long, Papyrus thought--Frisk was practically bouncing in their own seat, signing something rapidly to Toriel, who signed slowly back after a pause. Frisk bounced again, clearly excited about something; Papyrus had absolutely no idea what they were talking about but he was excited about it nonetheless, whatever it was!

"SANS!" he chirped to his brother, moving to point out the window. "LOOK, THERE'S KING ASGORE!!"

"uh-huh."

Papyrus beamed, trying to disregard the amount of exhaustion he picked up in the other skeleton's voice.

As soon as they got out of the car, he raced up to go shake hands with the king, and accidentally almost ran over Alphys in the process--so he started talking to her instead, and for a minute he forgot about his brother, even when he came up with Frisk.

"U-um, I-I'd, I'd love to talk to you Papyrus, r-really," the lizard monster eventually stammered out, "b-but, um, I'm needed at the--"

"OH, NO PROBLEM! IT WAS NICE TO SEE YOU!!"

Barely giving her a chance to say goodbye, he turned to follow the former queen into the building, realizing he might be late. Frisk followed, with Sans more than a couple paces behind them.

"SEE YOU LATER, LADY ASGORE!"

The former queen gave him an amused smile before leading the way back to her van, not before waving to the both of them along with Frisk, who leaned out the window in the backseat. Papyrus himself kept waving long after the car pulled out of the driveway and rolled down the street, exclaiming, "WELL, THAT WAS FUN!"

He then turned to his brother with a slightly aggravated look. "BUT I WISH YOU HADN'T FALLEN ASLEEP DURING THE MIDDLE OF IT! HONESTLY, BROTHER, I--"

He stopped.

He put his hands on Sans's shoulders, shaking him gently. "UM, BROTHER?"

The other skeleton seemed to blink back to reality, but didn't look any less dazed. "oh, uh--sorry, Pap. guess i zoned out, heh..." His voice was slurry, and Papyrus didn't like it.

"ARE YOU REALLY THAT TIRED?" he sighed, pretending to sound more annoyed with him than he was. Sans just gave him one of his signature lazy grin in response, gently pushing him away.

"kinda. sorry."

"IT'S FINE." He didn't like that he apologized twice, for some reason. "IT'S LATE ANYWAY, SO..."

Trying to push down a pang of concern, Papyrus led the way into the house, making sure Sans was following. He was, but, agonizingly slowly. Or maybe it was just him overthinking it.

Deciding to help his brother to bed--because obviously with how tired he was, he'd just fall asleep on the floor without his help--Papyrus ended up slinging him over his shoulder (carefully) and made his way into said brother's very stuffy, very gross room, ignoring the urge to complain. He set him down (gently) on his worn mattress, then carefully pulled the messy sheets over his form.

"GOODNIGHT, BROTHER," he said, a bit awkwardly, before moving to take his leave; only to come to a halt when he felt a hand tug at his arm weakly. He glanced back at Sans, shoving down another pang of worry.

"thanks," murmured his brother, looking very, very sleepy, and--and much older than he was, Papyrus thought.

And sad.

Papyrus tried not to worry, but he did.

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

Sans chuckled--Papyrus couldn't tell if it was genuine or not, in the moment. "yeah," he assured. "just need some rest, you know me. ...heh."

"SANS..."

"don't worry about me," he said, quietly. "i'm fine. i promise."

No. No, he's not. Don't leave him. Stay.

But he had promised, right? Sans always kept his promises.

"...OKAY," Papyrus said finally.

Sans smiled at him, almost real, Papyrus noted. But not quite. A bit sad. A bit regretful.

"right, well..." He patted his arm affectionately, "go get some rest yourself, wouldya? ya don't wanna stay asleep too long, you got stuff to do."

SO DO YOU, he almost said. But he knew Sans needed the rest. He was certain of it.

So he went to go to the door, and again, he was stopped. The grip on him was a bit weaker this time.

"i love you."

His smile was soft. Real, this time, definitely.

But it didn't feel right. Why was he looking at him like that, like this was the last time they'd...

"I LOVE YOU TOO." Papyrus leaned down to hug his brother, and Sans immediately hugged back. His hands were (alarmingly) cold on Papyrus's back.

He hesitated.

Then he let him go, turning away. He said goodnight to him once more.

And Sans's eye-lights flickered.

HE'S FINE, Papyrus told himself, over and over again, as he went to the door. HE'S FINE, I KNOW HE IS.

He promised.

He stepped out into the hallway, not knowing why his soul ached so suddenly, not knowing why his soul seemed to scream for his brother--not knowing why Sans had looked at him the way he did.

Not knowing why he felt cold.

...But he shut the door anyway.

And his soul felt like shattering because of it.

* * *

It was the middle of the night. Papyrus was lying on the couch, a discarded blanket having flopped onto the floor beside him.

He hadn't been resting very easily. Something was bothering him, and he wasn't sure what.

At least Sans was--

"Pap?"

He jumped up from the couch, a bit startled. Sans stood in the doorway of the kitchen, a blanket wrapped around him. He looked almost... Worried.

"UM, YES, BROTHER? WHAT'S WRONG??"

Sans glanced away, looking troubled about something.

Papyrus noticed suddenly there were tear-tracks on his cheek.

"can i, uh... heh, it's dumb but--"

"WHATEVER IT IS, I'M SURE IT'S NOT DUMB."

Sans hesitated.

"can i stay with you?" He tugged at his blanket anxiously, and for a second Papyrus thought he looked like a babybones; which was very odd because normally in the past, he himself would be the one requesting such a thing.

"OF COURSE."

He looked a lot more relieved at that prospect, and Papyrus quickly scooted over, moving his pillow and blanket to the other side to make more room. The other side of the couch dipped slightly as Sans joined him.

"...sorry."

Papyrus glanced at him. "FOR WHAT?"

"bringing you... into this."

...Oh.

But why should he be apologizing for that? Papyrus would always be willing to help his brother, no matter what. That was what family was for.

And that certainly didn't excuse the hurt he knew Sans was dealing with.

Sans should never feel sorry for that.

"DON'T BE." Papyrus scooted opposite of his side, and paused before wrapping his arms around his brother comfortingly. "I'M... I'M REALLY GLAD YOU TOLD ME."

"...really?" Sans blinked up at him, seeming almost surprised. Well, that just wouldn't do.

"OF COURSE! I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY." He held him a bit tighter, nuzzling his skull against the other's.

"but don't i--what about--"

"I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY AND YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN, SANS. YOU'RE ANYTHING BUT. I MEAN, SURE, YOU'RE LAZY AND YOU MAKE BAD PUNS ALL THE TIME AND CAN BE ANNOYING, BUT FOR STARS' SAKE, DO YOU THINK I'D ABANDON YOU FOR THAT OR SOMETHING?"

"was kinda hoping you would--"

"NO! DO NOT HOPE! ...I MEAN, YES, HOPE, BUT DO NOT HOPE ABOUT THAT BECAUSE THAT IS RIDICULOUS. I WOULD NEVER ABANDON YOU, NO MATTER HOW LAZY YOU GET OR HOW WORSE YOUR PUNS BECOME," he pulled him closer, into his lap, "OR HOW UTTERLY INFURIATING IT IS THAT YOU DRINK KETCHUP OUT OF A BOTTLE. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT. I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF IT; AND IF SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU, WHATEVER IT MAY BE, AND HOWEVER WEIRD IT MIGHT BE, I WOULDN'T ABANDON YOU THEN EITHER, BECAUSE YOU'RE MY BROTHER. AND I LOVE YOU."

"..."

"...SANS?"

"i love you too."

Papyrus blinked.

"DO YOU PROMISE?"

"what?" Sans looked at him incredulously. "you want me to promise you i love you?"

"NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN--I WANT YOU TO PROMISE ME SOMETHING ELSE."

"uh... ok?"

"PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER, EVER KEEP ANYTHING TO YOURSELF AGAIN."

His brother shifted, a new sort of uneasiness taking a hold of him. "Pap..."

"I'M SERIOUS," Papyrus reiterated, "LIKE I SAID, IF SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU, EVER, I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU DEAL WITH IT ON YOUR OWN. WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER, OKAY? NO MATTER WHAT."

Sans avoided his gaze.

He knew his brother didn't like promises, but...

" ...PLEASE, SANS."

Please.

"...okay."

Papyrus's soul didn't ache as much, after hearing that. It felt warm, almost.

Everything was warm. And he beamed, as though to bring his own kind of warmth.

"but, uh..." Sans added after a moment, a bit sheepishly. "'m kinda tired, so, can we sleep now?"

Papyrus rolled his eyes, but he didn't argue, and instinctively pulled his brother closer.

Soon, they both fell asleep.

And the stars continued to shine brightly outside.