Kinktober 6th 2024 (Tethered / Distraction)

At long last, they had managed to pull it off! After countless failed attempts, Numa, Skull, and Rod finally completed their ultimate mission.

"WE ACTUALLY DID IT!" Rod shouted as they burst into their hideout, tossing money from the stolen suitcases into the air.

"Yeah, we're going to be rich again!" Skull echoed, adding his own flurry of cash into the mix.

Numa walked in behind them, her expression souring as she saw the two men throwing her money around. "What the hell are you two idiots doing?!" she yelled, her voice filled with exasperation. "Why are you throwing my money around?"

The two men froze, looking sheepishly at Numa. Rod quickly shifted the blame. "Yeah, moron, pick it up and put it back in the case," he said to Skull, acting like he hadn’t just been throwing the money himself.

Skull blinked, clearly caught off guard. "What? We thought you'd be happy, Numa. We actually pulled it off this time!"

Numa let out a long sigh, then dropped onto the couch. "I do admit, for once, you morons didn't mess it up." A rare smile crossed her face, and she leaned back, closing her eyes. "I can't believe it... we're finally going to be back on top. No more hiding in this warehouse in the forest—no more bugs, no more TV dinners."

She sighed contentedly, her excitement growing as she imagined her future. "All it took was eavesdropping on that conversation about where those suitcases of money were going to be left," she mused, a satisfied smile on her lips. "We didn't have to do anything. We were in the right place at the right time."

She then looked over at Skull and Rod, who were grinning at their success. "Alright, you two. Take some of this money and get us a real celebration dinner—something good, none of that cheap stuff." She tossed them a stack of cash. "This is just the start of our new lives."

Rod cheered and grabbed Skull by the arm, practically dragging him towards the door. "Come on, idiot, let’s go! We’re getting the good stuff tonight."

"Hey, who are you calling an idiot?" Skull retorted, stumbling after him.

Meanwhile, Numa relaxed on the couch, savoring her moment of triumph. She barely had time to relish the thought of her return to wealth before she heard a noise behind her. She turned, her eyes widening as several masked figures emerged from the shadows. Before she could react, they grabbed her, binding her wrists and ankles. She struggled, trying to call out, but they quickly gagged her and hoisted her up, suspending her from the ceiling.

"do you really think we wouldn't notice you would try and steal from us? we put trackers in those suitcases for a reason" one of the thugs said. "Thrust her up and let's get these outta here"

The gang that had originally planned to collect the suitcases of money had tracked them down, and now they were here to take back what was theirs.

Hours later, Skull and Rod returned, their arms laden with bags of food. They entered the hideout, both still buzzing with excitement.

"Numa! You won't believe it! We got everything—steak, lobster, even some fancy desserts!" Rod called out, but his voice trailed off as he looked around.

"Uh, Rod...?" Skull muttered, nudging Rod and pointing upwards.

There, tethered from the ceiling, was Numa, tightly bound and gagged. Her eyes were wide with anger and panic, and she tried to shout through her gag, her muffled cries barely intelligible.

Skull’s eyes widened in confusion. "Whoa, Numa! What happened to you?!"

Rod squinted up at her, trying to make sense of what she was saying. "I think she's saying... 'throw a pear!'" Skull interupted

Rod rolled his eyes and smacked Skull's head. "No, idiot! She said 'get a chair!' She wants down."

Meanwhile while the two were distracted by Numa members of the gang silently grabbed all the suitcases of money.

Numa frantically shook her head, her muffled voice growing more desperate as she struggled against her restraints.

"You don't want down?" Rod asked, even more confused.

Numa’s eyes darted behind them as she screamed into her gag, trying to say, Look behind you!

Skull frowned, trying to guess. "Wait, did she say... 'I tried something new'?"

Rod sighed dramatically. "No, I think she said 'get the broom... but why?"

Skull and Rod looked at each other and shrugged and grabbed a nearby broom"

They both turned back to look at Numa, who groaned loudly, her eyes blazing with frustration. The two men exchanged a glance.

Rod scratched his head. "Not that either? You think she did this to herself?"

Skull nodded sagely. "Yeah, and she's probably embarrassed we caught her like this."

Numa’s muffled voice was filled with fury as she tried to communicate. We're being robbed!

Skull tilted his head. "Did you get corn on the cob?"

Rod threw his hands up in exasperation. "How would corn on the cob help, Skull?! That's stupid! use that one braincell you have tucked away and think for a second"

Skull shrugged defensively. "What if she's hungry after this, and we didn't get it?"

Rod blinked, "You know what? Let's just remove her gag and ask her, moron."

Skull nodded. "Why didn’t we think of that sooner?"

They both stepped forward and finally removed Numa's gag, but it was too late. The hideout was empty, the suitcases of money gone, and all that remained was Numa’s pure, unfiltered rage.

"YOU MORONS! WE LOST EVERYTHING!" she screamed, her voice hoarse from all her failed attempts at warning them.

"THEY WERE STILL HERE STEALING THE MONEY BEHIND YOU!"

Skull and rod looked behind them ready to fight. "They're behind us? Where?" They both said

"You idiots took too long and now they are long gone HOW IN THE HELL DIDN'T YOU SEE OR HEAR THEM!?"

Numa crumpled to the floor sobbing
"We lost everything the mansion the private jet all my money is gone!"

Skull looked at Rod, his eyes wide with panic. "N-not the food... right?"

Rod stammered, holding up the bags of food they had brought back. "Y-yeah... we can still eat good for t-today..."

Numa's face turned a deep shade of red as she grabbed a nearby broom, brandishing it like a weapon. "I'LL SHOW YOU TWO IDIOTS WHAT GOOD FOOD IS WORTH!"

Skull and Rod yelped, dropping the bags of food and scattering in different directions as Numa chased them around the hideout, her frustration reaching a boiling point.

Skull shouted over his shoulder, "Why’d you get her the broom?!"

Rod shot back, equally panicked, "Shut up, idiot! It's not like you were right either! And keep running if you want to live!"

And so, amidst the chaos of flying brooms and shouts, their dreams of wealth slipped away once more, leaving only a furious leader and two bumbling fools, still somehow missing the point entirely