RadiantGloom

It’s hard to be grateful for what you have, When you’re stuck thinking about what you don’t. So many people wish for material things, New things, Items that will make them feel fulfilled. I don’t care about that stuff Most of the time. It’s hard to be grateful for what you have, When all you can think about is what you don’t. My sanity, Some clarity, Maybe some antidepressants, Silence, real silence, where even the voice in my head shuts up. It’s hard to be grateful for what you have, When the thought of what you don’t consumes you. Someone to understand me, Some way to understand myself . But I guess I’ll just always be ungrateful.

I’m so scared of death. Not out of fear for my life; Out of fear for yours.

There’s a story burning in my heart And sizzling on my tongue, But you would hate it. It’s as though the Devil himself is reaching Down my throat Trying to pull the words from my very soul.But you will never hear it; I won’t let you. Because I know that if I do, You won’t be able to bear the pain Of those burns.

Listening shouldn't mean Memorizing my words And indifferently repeating them to prove a stupid point, Because all that means is that You’re lying to the both of us.While you sit there memorizing, I’m pouring my heart out About how nobody truly cares about What I have to say.

Most of my work is just a summary of my thoughts. So how ridiculous is it that I find it all meaningless?

Every once in a while-- No, almost all the time now-- I’ll find myself slipping into A hate spiral. It’s when I slowly succumb To my anger and disappointment, To a point where I can barely mask my rage. I barely know what I’m angry at anymore. Is it myself? My loved ones, Who constantly fail to make any effort To understand me? Or is it just the world in general? Whatever the reason, I can barely contain it. When I’m with my friends, I feel like throwing up Because the pressure to pretend to be okay Is too much of a burden. It takes so much effort to get up in the morning, That often I can’t go out at all. It feels like there are weights P...

I know that you’re suffering, And I want to help you, But you keep pushing me away. I don’t know how you feel; I’ve rarely ever been upset before. And yet, somehow, I can still feel your pain. I wish that I could share with you The peace that I’ve been blessed with.

Red hot anger Boiling my blood, Clouding my vision, And moving my limbs. Giving a voice to all of my bitterest thoughts. I want to scream. I want to lash out. I know that I’ve gotten out of control, But I just can’t control my rage.