Paups

hello everyone,
wow, it's been almost a year since my last entry.
KEEP READING. IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME THAT YOU READ THIS CAUSE I NEED ATTENTION OK DON'T JUDGE ME.

I am writing to inform that I moved.
Yes. I only come here once a year now to check my 2 messages (that are usually two faves from an old fanart or a 3 years late "thanks" to some deviation I commented long ago).
ANYWAYS.

I am here now:

DRAWS-STUFF

so go to my blog. save my blog. follow my blog. print it out and stick it on your wall. send me hateful anonymous. send me friendly anonymous. send me non-anonymous messages if you can. reblog my stuff. comment on it. like it. lick it. print it and stick it on your wall.
It's mostly uni work.
But I'm sure it's worth a look.
I also have stuff for sale there. That's pretty cool too, right.

And if you want something less serious. Or just stalk me a bit more, knowing all about my love life. Sex life. London life. Uni life. Unemployed life. You can follow my personal blog. The one I don't show to potential employers. (because I reblog a lot of angst stuff. and vaginas. an men in underwear. and dogs.)
HERE!

KISSTHEWOOKIE

you can send me hate anons, love anons, anything, nudes, that would be cool.


COOL. THAT SAID. GOOD BYE.

I'll check this again for a week just in case someone reads it and decided to comment.

OK BYE.

I haven't cared about deviantArt for too long. Tell me, are you still there?

tumblr, if you still want to talk: kissthewookie.tumblr.com
facebook, if you want to be inconvenient: www.facebook.com/bastos.paulin…

.

I'm writing here because it's very unlikely someone will read it.
But I really need to write down what it's going on otherwise my head will explode.
You know when you know something is going to happen sooner or later but you never think it's going to be today nor tomorrow... Let alone next week?
Today I woke up early and took a long shower then I heard that Skype noise. I assumed it was my mum because we had a lot to discuss about something that is completely irrelevant right now.
I was wrapped in my towel so my dad said calmly to take my time and finish blowing dry my hair. When I finally got to sit and look at them properly I was still smiling asking why were they calling me this early and commenting about whatever I did last night. That's when I noticed that my dad was crying. And I prepared myself for the worst. But the worst would be good news comparing to what they told me.
My dog died that morning.

I feel like I need to throw up but I can't. I feel like sobbing isn't just enough. It hurts physically on ways I didn't know it was possible. I haven't seen my dog for four months, I thought I was going to find him home like usual when I left for summer break next month. I thought he'd be always there because he's always been there. I have been crying for eleven hours straight now. My head feels like it's being hammered over and over.

Sometimes when I get distracted I just forget that this happened. And then the idea of going back home and not seeing that giant white cow walking around that house strikes me. He won't be there and he's not there right now. He's not lying on the couch nor sitting beside my mum.

I can't imagine my family without him.

I want to pretend that he's still there. Because I'm not there to be reminded that this is not true.

I feel like I'll cry forever and that part of me just died and I think I'll never be the same again.

What's up.
I'm alive.
And I'm watching all the tv shows that a human being is capable of watching.
And I'm looking for a job. And looking for an apartment. And I'm on an eternal diet. And I've been having all my meals in a mug. Wait. What.
What's up with you guys?