Ookami-Seishin

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Again it has been far too long since I posted a journal entry. I find it very difficult to know what to write in these things which is why I don't have a blog site lol. ^^" (There may be times in this journal where you think I'm showing off but I'm not. I'm not like that, I just wanted to talk about things that have really made me happy last year! )

Anyway I guess what I wanted to say is that I think I've made a lot of progress in the past year. Between 2008 and 2012, I really struggled with life, especially when I was at Uni from 2010-2012. It's near enough a year since I stopped going to Uni (I didn't officially drop out till April but in January I just stopped going and stayed home each day not telling anyone). To cut a long, get out the violins story short it was the lowest point of my life and I was feeling suicidal! February came along and with it Being Human series 4, that was something which I looked forward to every week. Seeing Andrew Gower as Cutler and Damien Molony as Hal in that awesome show each week was a great joy and words can't describe how much it cheered me up. You see at this time, I kept to myself and didn't talk to anyone about any of my problems. I isolated myself from the world and had kept things bottled up for the past four years, that show took my mind off things and stopped me from doing anything 'stupid' whilst I was home alone each working day. So this was the start I guess of me getting better.

The next stage was when I finally started talking to my friends again. I made a new one thanks to Being Human which is and we used to talk about the show a lot because we loved it, so that was nice. Once I got used to talking again, I finally plucked up the courage to talk to another friend whom I've known for sometime now, about how I was doing. That awesome friend is and it's thanks to her that I finally confessed everything to my Mum who went with me to the Doctors for help. If it hadn't been for Samantha's ( ) support and words of encouragement, I have no idea what would have happened. I cannot express how grateful I am to her, she's just amazing. THANK YOU! ='3

It was around this time when I made another friend who I actually met on here! What can I say about Heather? I have known her less than a year but it feels like I've known her for years!! She's just an incredibly kind and amazing person and I feel like I can talk to her about anything. She too has supported me so much in these past few months and I cannot thank her enough for this.

I also joined Twitter to see what all the fuss was about around March/April time..........OMG, OMG!! I've met some incredible people on there too who've also supported me. I've got some great friends on there, Heather (), Sandra,  Evie, Lauren, Kayla, and !! I'm so happy that now has twitter too!

There's one other very special friend who's my best friend from Uni who's been incredible too . He's always believed in me, encouraged me. Uni was extremely difficult but I used to look forward to going if only to see him and my other cool Uni mates. I actually had a good time at Uni, I have fond memories of it. Was just the INSANE amount of work we had to do which made it crappy! -.- xD

Out of 100 people on my course, only 1 passed!

FAST FORWARD A FEW MONTHS >>>

A lot of time has passed since then, Summer was fun what with Diamon Jubilee and Olympics. My 21st Birthday was freaking epic.  my absolute favourite actor Andrew Gower (Cutler in Being Human,  dude in this journal skin xD) tweeted me (thanks to my friends) Happy Birthday! ='3

I got two awesome presents (Cutler fan art ) from and !
drew me->

drew me->
Samantha and Heather are so, so, sooooo talented at drawing, I love their art!

I started volunteering in a charity shop every friday afternoon, had some counselling and in December got a Christmas job in a most fabulous place, the beautiful buillding that is The Leeds Library founded in 1768! Even though my contract there has ended they let me volunteer there whenever I like and they even pay my bus fare! ^^



Christmas was epic and Andrew Gower tweeted me thank you for his Xmas card and pressie and wished me a wonderful Christmas.


(Got him a Where's Wally card and like a replica award thingie! See below lol. xD)

........Where am I now? I still have my off days/weeks. Depression creeps in at times when I least expect it BUT it's like I'm alive again. I actually have some self esteem and confidence now, I've been facing my fears and am now registered as a blood donor. I am back in touch with my cousins (we didn't fall out but certain circumstances made us drift apart) and now I go see them every Friday night and it's so wonderful to have them back in my life, I had missed them terribly!

2012 was an incredibly rocky and difficult journey in which I learned a heck of a lot and had few great times now and then. It is thanks to the ALL the amazing people in this journal entry that my life's back on track and my future no longer seems so bleak. These people have such beautiful souls and hand on my heart I can honestly say they've saved my life. I am forever indebted to them for this and I'm soooooo lucky to have friends like them in my life. So the next time someone says that online friends aren't real friends DON'T pay any attention because it certainly isn't true. They are just as real as the friends you see in person. ^^

~Abbey
xXx

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First of all before I say anything else, I just wanna say SORRY!! I meant to let all
of my internet friends know that I was going away but I ran out of time. So
apologise if you thought I was being mean or ignoring you or something,
I wouldn't do that.

Now before I start bablling on about my holiday I just wanna say that thanks to
Being Human series 4. Because of that I've made 5 great friends and below
I've featured some of their awesome BH fanart.

->
One of Apwil's fab, adorable Hal stamps!!   Be sure to check out her others too,
they all rock!

->
Nawww a Cutler chibi, isn't this so adorable? I it.
Cutler looking like a very cool and contemporary vampy with that ipod.

->
Hehe this is too adorable, funny and seriously cute.
Beautiful bright colours too, zomg this pic has tooo much win!!

-> :thumb289101100:
An awesome sketch of a vampire eye close up.
Very nicely done, I love the hint of light in the right corner. To me that shows a
speck of humanity, without that it'd look very scary like a shark's eye.

As promised here is's fanart-> which she
drew as a pressie for me. I can't even begin to describe how grateful I was
for this really kind gesture and I absolutely freakin it, it's perfect. She's
captured Mr C awesomely in anime form. THANKS A MILLION buddy.
Btw she's kinda new to deviant art so please check out her gallery! I'm sure
Courtney would really appreciate it. Be sure to check out everyone else's
gallery too, you won't be disappointed, I promise you!!


While I'm featuring work, how could I not feature a piece by my one of my bestest
bezzies ? No way I'd miss her out lol.

STUNNING piece buddy, this fantasy bird looks as though It's flown right out of
Pandora from Avatar lol. Beautiful colours and textures. That bird looks so cute and
fluffy, I wanna hold it lol.   x

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Back to my holiday, well it was awesome. I had a truly great time in Bridlington.
Some days were sunny and warm, others were stormy and freeeeeezing but hey
that's UK weather for you. xD I don't mind though I'm a storm/snow person anyway.
Not a huge fan of hot/sunny weather, so I was happy. ^^

Yeah so we visited Scarborough, Flamborough too.
xXx

P.S. Living in permanent blissful denial over Cutler's death, he didn't die not in my
mind. 'In regards to Cutler's supposed death - I am going to choose to believe that
his staking incident was like Mitchell's in series 1 when Herrick attacked him.
We didn't see Cutler turn to dust, he just sort of vommitted blood like Mitchell did
so I'm going to pretend that someone rescued him and hid him somewhere and
fed him blood so that he survived and his burns healed and then I can hope that
he'll be the one who 'rises' in series 5 ok. I just can't cope with the fact that he might
actually be dead.' ='[......Quoting someone from Tumblr. xD