nubianlover

In ‘94 we sang along to songs that used to slither, sweating, from the sunlight-lit, dusty, car stereo.Now we rip-off scratched CDs from record shops; in the hopes of finding sample tracks to loop behind our backing vocals.Try to propel ourselves into synth-memorandum.Attempt at expressionistic, elastic, corporate think-tank, forms of view.Keep volume at premium. Lights down low.Spend away long hours in diners hurry on tooth decay by rinsing milkshake round our mouths.My parents were the screaming truth of common sense.“Damn” I say, “I guess we’ll never get a record deal.”sigh.

Outside, noisy crickets, washed in still waters of air, play Adagio in tedium.These are the hushed gifts to a moon long departed from the warm lips of the copper band horizon.Here’s to those, who halt the night’s cold progression, by handing out blankets, for a smile and nothing more.A reflection, of quiet things, in this room I am all that stirs aside from red needles, spinning endlessly.My breathing lengthens, to the confidence I hold, in the arms of slumber.

.....This was our seditious rendezvous Reaching out to grip each others hands Spinning round like rotor blades Sinking in, and for, each others eyes Moving up and down like a panting lungs I’m thinking of that lust inclined fixationYou’re the blonde with bottle green observation Cheeks flushed like lip gloss and rose wine (Exhaustion paints you so)I’m inebriated by your constant advances Holding back while your perfume enthrals I was stirred and shaken in your wake That day you found a gun in my bedroom drawer “What the fuck you need protecting for?” And I joked and said I had to be protected from youYou never did understand me I always wa...

.....I look back on a time, When flasks did not have bullet holes. When what little liquid within, Did not leak and evaporate, Did not line mantelpieces, Like trophies for victory attained By not relinquishing one’s life.I think on those I have lost. My entire Pals Battalion. The men whose torn bodies hung from trees, Gently placed by explosions. Fabric limbs drooped ancient boughs that Twist and writhe in the agonies. Left unexpressed.I see them now, when I am hoping not to, The unexpected hallucinatory glance, when midday suns lit up pale white faces of fallen friends, that those around stepped on.I remember that day, a loss of time, wit...

.....I look back on a time that I remember, When flasks did not have bullet holes through them. When what little liquid that was held within, Did not leak out and then evaporate within the instant. When they did not sit on mantelpieces, Like trophies gained for the victory attained By not relinquishing one’s life.I think on those I have lost. My entire Pals Battalion. The men whose torn bodies hung from trees, Where explosions gently placed them. Fabric limbs drooped over ancient boughs that Twist and writhe in the agonies that went by. Unexpressed.I see them now whenever I am hoping not to The unexpected hallucinatory glance, when the mid...

Staggering out of my last bar, I walk forever in a sideways, Unsteady motion, Failing to view the enormity of passions, And my precious lack of empathy, Till I was shot in the heart, When my dark eyes held vision, Of a man slumped over in an alleyway. I waited to a moment,Too drunk to think,I went on impulse. Went over to that poor soul and kneeled, So close I could smell his stale breath, His clothes quite obviously in tatters , The beard holding a glacier of spittle , Moving so gradually that it seemed held, All the while suspense was killing me, As I moved my hand out of aerial range. Just for a minute,Imagining him as a lover ,My ...

.....i used to stand for hours in the white tiled bathroom’s cold, cold shower. Used to stand and think about the way I’d touch you all the while resolved in my own senses and knowing that I will not swell to what you see beneath the waist. at least not for this while, because the thoughts I had before where never pure, in truth they were but loveless.i remember those hours I’d stand there thinking up worlds away from you though never quite escaping, always chasing some ideal, the thought of some eager lover touching me, swelling and tasting inches neither lost nor ever taken for granted, the way that we in reality never did.call me crazy,...

.....I woke with a start; the smell of summer hitting me instantly, a wake of scent. It was a smell of cherry blossom on the tree outside. Not unpleasant, but soon overwhelmed when I took another breath of the air that sits in a film of atmosphere above me, this breath is one of stale bodies, no doubt mine, of putting and deglamourising to the extreme. Next come the sounds, a ear filling sound of outside that floods in through the window and that should have hit me a moment earlier, held off it seemed, only by my lack of attention. My head thumps and I collapse back again onto the mass of sleep disturbed pillows.Arm stretched out I tap som...

.....Strum strong the strings Because fidelity’s taken too long to set in Blow hard into the bellows To set your heart alight againLook at me Look into my eyes I know there’s a lot to see But please look closelyI know I love you You know that too The blue sky overhead has lied And later comes the rain Falling hard and quick like griefSilence talks and soothes my soul But in you come and wreck it all Serenity lost somewhere between your legs So I move in fast to find it Never found It’s never foundMy piston heart has held on for too long Pumping fast and hard and strong Oiled to perfection Yet still the rust set inIn the corner sits the mar...

.....I’ve lain here many moments now, On this stained, spring-snapped mattress, Listened to the reverberating echo of silence, And then to the slow dull murmur, That repeats itself incessantly. Watching the stream of water, That runs the skylights surface, A tireless reflection of my insomnia.Above me the drowning ebb of weighty clouds, Hangs high and full. The sky, a backdrop of black, Clouds adding grey mottled omnipotence.Outside the streetlights spatter out weak lustre, As if it were saliva slipping down to reach, Gum trodden paving stones, Joining with the streams of water, That tumble, in an effort to escape the urban world, Down the...