Okay guys, i promised you an “extended” post of my „dystopian“ con-experience last weekend in Dusseldorf and since I’ve got nothing else to do than floating deep within my after-con-depression (oh guys… it seems like it never was SO HARD to let go…) i thought i point out a few of my highlights for you if you like to read it. 
So, being at my first REAL The 100 convention was really spectacular and exciting on its own, but there was one particular reason i wanted to go there so, so badly, and that was, of course, Bob Morley, the light of my life, who was announced to attend. So i packed up my fave fanarts of him to let them get signed by our precious sunshine-sprout - and a really detailed plan of what i wanted to say to him (what i’ve always wanted to say to him…) when i would stand before him. I (and that’s no lie guys), i literally ‘learned my lines’. Since english isn’t my mother tongue, one of my greatest fears above all was, that i wouldn’t be able to tell him, what he as a person and his acting really means to me.
But it all went so different from what i had expected. MUCH BETTER in fact, that i could’ve hoped for! And while writing this down i’m in tears already again, because, guys… i’ve never met a more polite, understanding and welcoming person in my life when it comes to males! And i got to say EVERY LITTLE THING to him i wanted to tell him so badly.
During the saturday Meet & Greet I finally found my guts to ask him about my two fave scenes of Bellamy when it comes to Bobby’s acting skills/perfomance: The one, where Bellamy gets the news of his sister’s “death” and the scene in the rover in “Gimme Shelter”, where Bellamy has to listen while his friends are dying in the black rain unable to rush for their rescue. He humbly thanked me for my praise (that his acting in these particular scenes was really mindblowing and heartbreaking). But he told me, that he wasn't quite content with the result of the scene in the rover, bc there were so many other things on his mind that day and he thought, he could've done it much better if he'd put more effort into it, if he'd been a bit more concentrated. (Much BETTER?! I mean... what was he aiming for... to KILL us with his actual acting skills?!) And I asked him if it was difficult for him to get into the right mood for such scenes and if he’s taking some of these emotions home with him after the “cut” or whether he’s just able to shake it off, being Bob again. And he, bless him, helped me out, when i was struggling with my english, almost never lost eye-contact with me, so that i really felt understood and appreciated in that moment, and he answered, that it’s no problem for him to get into such a mood now and he doesn’t think about it much after the cut, but that there in fact was a time in his past, when it was very difficult for him. He just had to learn how to deal with it over the years. He mentioned particular scenes from other projects for examples, but that would be to detailed to write it down here. But the M & G was so much more… relaxed than i had expected, because Bob really makes you feel at ease very soon around him and takes every single question seriously, but is all about jokes and fun when the situation gets there. He’s such a lovely, humble and beautiful person. I can tell. I sat only 3 spots away at his right… And he took his glasses off and wiped them, while speaking to me. And all that little smiles and smirks and laughs. And the way he’s always (ALWAYS) running his big, strong hands through his messy curls. And the mustache… (THAT was his first question in fact, whether we’d like his mustache. He shaved himself right after the opening ceremony and before the M & G. And we told him we LOVED the mustache and and and…) It was SO EXCITING!!! And he was so effortlessly beautiful…
I got some photo-ops with Bobby too, on both days tbh. But the MOST IMPORTANT experience for me was at the autograph session, as I finally got the chance to tell him the more personal things which were so important for me to let him know. I’m so proud of myself, that I did it. I thought i wouldn’t be able to speak in proper sentences AT ALL… but i 1. got to tell him, that I think his acting/performance in my opinion is kind of an art, and that his “art” always inspires mine. (And with these words i gave him my gift, one of my original drawings of Bellamy Blake. I wanted to give him this, because i wasn’t creative in years and when i saw his performance on screen (not only in The 100) he inspired me so much that i just HAD to draw again.) He was so humble and so happy to hear this! And 2.: I finally told him, how much it personally means to me, that he speaks up for people with mental illnesses, for giving it another important voice in times like these. I almost lost my job due to illness last year and had to go through an ugly lawsuit to keep it. And it was HIS optimism, positivity and general kindness, the open way he’s dealing with his own problems and issues concerning that matter, and all the motivation he’s giving us through social media (along with the support of my family and friends of course ), that helped me through especially THIS rough time last year. I TOLD HIM THIS! I REALLY TOLD HIM THIS, ALL THESE THINGS THAT ARE SOOO IMPORTANT TO ME. And i lost my words and stood there and almost had to cry, thought i’d hyperventilate or something like this, but then… there was Bobby in all his understanding and kindness and patience and he leaned forward and softly grabbed my arms to rub them in a sweet, reassuring way, and said: “It’s okay. It’s alright, take your time. It’s okay” and i STILL HEAR HIS SOFT AND WARM VOICE and i STILL FEEL HIS HANDS ON MY ARMS and i .. can’t stop crying…
He was SO MOVED by my words, so concerned when he heard about my job. He told me, that this was EXACTLY what he was aiming for: To bring people with mental illnesses, anxities and depressions HOPE, to encourage them to go on. There will always be better times ahead. He really want to support such organisations, bc he KNOWS. He was so kind, so lovely, so comforting, so… He’s got the most beautiful soul on earth. And i couldn’t thank him enough for listening to my words and for understanding, how important this was for me.
This man really makes me wanna be a better person, to go further, to keep on going even if i’m sad or anxious. I love him so much for this motivation he’s giving me… Bless him…
On the second day Bobby signed a copy of my drawing i gave him as a present the other day. I totally forgot to take the copy with me to the first autograph-session… He just laughed and said “No worries!” and just… signed it with “May we meet again”… (No worries… noworriesnoworriesnoworries… I can’t get his voice out of my mind anymore… )
Besides these two most important moments there were SO MANY wonderful memories made that last weekend, i couldn’t possibly count them. I have special moments in mind with almost all the other actors. They were all such kind and contagiously funny people, so humble when praised and full of emotions and thankful words, especially at the end of the event. Sachin said, that THEY (the actors) are in fact the ones who had to thank US, the fans, because we’re giving them their jobs in the end. And that they all had so much FUN with us, especially at the Karaoke-Party that saturday night!
GUYS!!! GUYS!!! I KNOW all the fuss about Bobby and Sachin kissing and so on. BUTTTT!!!! I literally witnessed Sachin and Tasya FRENCH-KISSING that evening too!!! FRENCH-TONGUE-KISSING!!! What the fuck is happening??? Haha! I never yelled so long and often like i did at THAT party, guys!!! Our hymn „Radioactive“ motivated even the LAZIEST buddy to come up and join the whole bunch by screaming the lyrics into the night air. Our bby’s where SO DRUNK!!! And of course… two of the highlights of that evening were Richard Harmon singing „Torn“ by Natalie Imbruglia with such a „WELTSCHMERZ“, that it was almost too much to watch and NOT to break down with laughter, and Bobby Morley, with his hair styled in little pig-tails, who was ROARING „Sweet dreams“ by Marilyn Manson. Or „Your sex is on fire“ btw… (Bob yelling „Your sex is on fire“ is something from another planet, guys… I nearly choked… JFC…) You really could see, that the stars had a GREAT time and felt very comfortable with us and that whole event. What a feeling…
With autographs from Sachin and Chelsey (i had a small chat with Sachin about his little cameo in the first new X-Files season and he was so excited about it! He LOVES the X-Files. But when I said that i’d love The 100 even more he gave me the thumbs up. ) i completed my collection of achievements from this marvellous ride named „Dystopia 2“ and i’m SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY to have witnessed almost all the panels, to have been able to talk to Bobby SEVERAL times, to share so many HUGSSSS with him (!), to see the AMVs and costumes so many talented peeps of the fandom created especially for THIS event, to get to know all these incredibly kind and lovely and patient stars, who never gave you the feeling that you aren’t special or understood at all, and last but not least about the fact that there will be a „Dystopia 3“ next year!!! HAHA! Something to look forward to in this post-con-depression i stuck in… Well… kinda. While i was writing this it magically disappeared somehow… At least mostly…
Last but NEVER least I’d like to thank (again and again and again… i simply have not enough WORDS to thank her) my everlasting soulmate/sister in crime merlination for being there for me all the way through the con-weekend, for reassuring and motivating me when i was feeling anxious or sad or angry, for sharing my devotion and love and all these important, precious moments with me. FOR BEING HAPPY AND NERDY WITH ME!!!
WE ARE. Always and forever. And we experience the most amazing things, dear. I love you.
MAY WE MEET AGAIN, sweeties! It was a n unforgettable ride! It was heartwarming and overall one of the greatest experiences in my life so far. I’ll never forget. And the word of the convention (besides „Beerkru“ of course )) ) is: THANKFULNESS. I am deeply grateful. Can’t wait to see you next year, guys! <3<3<3