kalamate

Details on Jen's Passing

I'm sorry that it has taken so long to log back in and update all of you on Jen's passing.  The last 2-1/2 months have been a blur and I am just now starting to take care of a few things.  Dealing with Jen's things is still very difficult, but I have begun to accept that she is gone and there is nothing I can do but begin to close those accounts and sites that may no longer be relevant.  This is compounded by the fact that Jen was not very good at keeping records and I had no knowledge of how many sites she was a member of or what passwords she used.  Every time I think I have found every site and I can begin deciding what to close, a new one seems to pop up

Just to reiterate - Jen died on December 2, 2007.  She had been having problems breathing on and off for a few days before then, but she appeared to be getting better.  It started as a cough that became a bit more persistent then went away to be replaced by the breathing problems.  Neither one of us was a fan of doctors (we hadn't seen one in over 9 years), so I still partly blame myself for not rushing her to the emergency room or calling 911 earlier.  You never think something like this can happen, but it does.  We were always trying to get the other to see a doctor, but it seems we could not take our own advice.

Jen had a pulmonary embolism due to a deep vein thrombosis.  Lots of big words to say she had a blood clot that traveled to her lungs.  She was overweight and sedentary, and those are very bad for blood circulation.  Unfortunately, her job (web design) and love (art) meant she spent long hours sitting.  It's ironic that the one thing she loved most in life helped contribute to the problem that ultimately took her life.  

Jen was depressed for years (and I am finding out that I was as well) and when she found art it was like nothing else mattered.  She would stay up for hours and hours working on her next piece, most of the time forgetting to (or not being able to) sleep.  The day before she passed we had a long conversation about the future.  She hoped to save enough money to open a studio or gallery one day and she was really excited in the fact that more and more people expressed interest in her work.  I take some comfort in realizing that she was probably at her happiest before she passed.

There are many pieces of hers that are unfinished and I hope to upload them here and on her website in the future.  I will keep these sites up as long as possible to honor her.  She wouldn't have wanted a memorial or for people to grieve her passing (easier said than done), so I will do my best to honor her wishes.

As Valentine's Day approaches, I am reminded of the fact that our relationship was not as good as it should have been.  Depression is a horrible thing and if you're not careful it can drag you down and those around you before you are even aware of it.  If you want to honor and cherish Jen, learn to love and accept those around you.  But most of all, learn to love yourselves.  If you can't love who you are, you make it difficult (if not impossible) to see how much others truly care for you.

I love you Jen.  Thank you for helping me realize what I was missing in my life.  I wish I could share this with you here and now, but it seems someone decided that was not in the master plan.  I will never forget you.  I am beginning to realize how much you taught me in life.  Your passing taught me the biggest lesson of all.  I will learn to love myself and not let depression overwhelm me like it has in the past.  I promise I won't waste this gift you have given me.

Onel

- I'll check this site from time to time. If you want to reach me quickly, send me an email at krite1l at aol.com (replaced the "@" so I don't get spammed)

Friends of Jen, please read this

My name is Onel and I am Jen's husband.  

You can contact me at krite1l@aol.com and I will be watching her Deviant Art page.

I have no other way of tracking people down because Jen didn't seem to keep a phone book, so I am asking anyone that knows her to pass this on.

Jen died this morning at approximately 5:53am Houston time. I don't know exactly what happened to her. I don't have the report from the medical examiner's office yet.  

What I do know is that Jen began feeling a bit sick late last week/early this week. She started off with a minor cough now and again that eventually got a bit more serious.  She started having some breathing difficulties in the last day and a half but refused to go to the doctor.  Yesterday morning I found out that she had not been sleeping well if at all the last 2-3 days.  I took care of her yesterday, doing everyting I could to make her relaxed so she could sleep.  She finally got to sleep around 5pm.  She was up now and again saying her nose was stuffy, but she'd put on some VaporRub and be ok and go back to sleep.  I laid down next to her to keep an eye on her, waking up with her every time to make sure she was ok.  At around 5:40, she got up and I asked if she was fine.  She said "yes, go back to bed" but I didn't.  Her breathing sounded different and I asked again and she said her chest hurt.  The rest happened in a flash, and I'd rather not go into all the details, but suffice it to say CPR didn't work and she died in my arms.  The paramedics confirmed it when they arrived a few minutes later.

I haven't made any arrangements yet.  All she was adamant about was cremation over burial, so I will respect her wishes.  If you would like me to keep you in the loop, please email me or respond here.  

She was trying to get in touch with her family last week.  Looking back at it now it seems like she was putting everything in order.  If you happen to know her well enough and you can provide any help, please let me know.

The world has lost a very talented artist today and I have lost someone I care deeply for.  And it is a sadder place...

I'm alive. Not too much to write about though. Been in a bit of a slump (as you can tell with my submissions) but hopefully I'm pulling out of it.

Holidays have never been my best times.

I hate  those commercials where the families are around the tree and they are smiling and trading gifts... GRR....

Sigh.... it's jealousy I know.. BLAH

Anywho.... having an artsale and some auctions this week.... EBAY

ive had a myspace acct forever... i know someof you keep track of me there.... anywho www.myspace.com/kalamate for those of you intrested....

I stole this from someones journal...

Thought it would be a good way to give my doodling a little focus


The rules

1.) Make 100 pics each pic having a theme listed below. Each pic should have ONE and only ONE theme to it, for it to count.

2.) No time limit so have fun

3.) The main picture should be drawn but not limited to. for all fair purposes, people are allowed to use their paint programs and photo shop to create the pic.

3a.) pics should be of own artistic ability. You may not edit photos, or break any other rules set out in the Da etiquette policy. Your pics can be anything from sketches and doodles to great master pieces. Just have fun with it.

4.) The list below is to be placed somewhere in your journal for others to see that......
A.)You are in the challenge
B.)What you have completed

5.) make sure to update this list and check off what is done and make a link to the pic

6.) In the comments for your art work note if it is part of the list and what ONE theme it is.

Now the good part. CHALLENGE YOUR FRIENDS.

THE LIST............................
1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. Satisfaction
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation