My Little Bug

In my childhood, my relationship with my father was different from what I would like it to be. Unfortunately, my father didn't like me, and unfortunately I really wanted him to like me. What little girl wouldn't want to? It took me a lot of time, effort and tears to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't change it, even if I was the most "perfect daughter" of perfect daughters. My father was there, but it was as if he wasn't there. We didn't talk or spend time together, I felt like I was a ghost to him. That's when dreams were born in me. simple dreams, about cuddling, eating together, going for a bike ride. Just dreams about dad, not a father. I created a dad who tells me that he loves me, not that he hates me. 
Now I have my own children and a loving husband. I have already accepted that I will not fill this childhood void. But there are those little moments when we fight with our kids with balloon swords and I'm happy because it's my first time and then, I'm sad, because it's my first time. And all I wanted was to be daddy's little bug.

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