As some of you may know, I suffer from SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder). It really has put my whole life on hold; I had to stop school. And I could barely go out. Now, I am getting better, with the help of my therapist and my medication. (And my sense of survival finally kicking in).
The only thing that is really bothering me is that I am not allowed to go back to school yet. I need only one more year, and then, college.
My therapists think I am not ready for the pressure that school gives you - because I always want to be perfect in everything that I do, and of course I can never be perfect, but my silly brain can seem to register that fact. So I cry a lot. Also because the reason why I am feeling so much better is because I have time to think about things and to place my thoughts in order.
But I am feeling old. In october, I will be 19. I should be in college for at least two years now. That is really bothering me.
Since I can't go back to school, I am studying at home, by myself. I have all the books I need, and if I need any help, my boyfriend can help me. (I am really bad at maths, and he is really good, so he can be my teacher.)
So, yes, in my free time, I will be studying. I hate thinking that I will have to wait for college, but studying makes me feel better about myself.
And when I am back to school, I will have all the information fresh in my head, and I will graduate faster
Wish me luck and patience, and as soon as I have new shots, I promise I will upload them!
Betina
