DAfriendiswelcome

The past can rip you wide open, it can make a rude entrance and not even knock disturb your happy present where you were lost in a moment thinking everything was just as it should be. I think I'm happy holding you and then the mirror flashes, only my reflection is your face. I see your anger in me, making me something I fear and despise. Let go of me now, I can't succumb to this it is taking over me and I can't let it. I'm holding onto this vase of flowers, and suddenly the memory takes over. There goes my hopes and dreams scattered to the floor in a million tiny pieces drowning in these dreams of me becoming you. I want to be me but sometimes I'm trying so hard to find me I forget who me is. I thought I was everything you weren't: strong, and loving and brave but sometimes I question it and if its all been an act to appear I'm holding it together. In truth i'm falling apart waiting for the wind to take the last remaining pieces of me somewhere from it all where I can be free of

Will you remember me? When I'm gone and withered. Will you still feeling my soul brushing against you ever so gently reminding you that I will always love you? I think of death often only as the division of our bodies because my soul is so entangled to you it never knew how to let go and when it was forced, it tried to pull back and now i'm stuck without words to express this fear of what the loss of you forever might do to me. If one day we are divided you by death and me by life, I fear that death might take me too because after all what would I be without you? Is there even a heaven without you? I know my earth was hell without you, I counted the days until my heart would piece itself together and I would finally just see you again. No one will ever understand the pain of sitting across a room your eyes longing for just one touch, its like your heart is outside of your body begging for you pull it back into your hollow chest. I could find no rest, dreaming until I found a way