baritonebear

Video Giorgio 98 WolfCopLou Garou(Leo Fafar) is a cop from Woodhaven, a blue collar town with a meth lab(with Jesse Moss as the gang leader) and a drunken hunting festival. He cares for little except his flask and his out-of-his-league girlfriend Jessica(Sarah Lind). On a dark night, he is sent by the chief of police to investigate reports of occult activities. He wakes up the next day with uncooperative facial hair and a pentagram carved across his chest. He’s quickly called on the very site from the night earlier where a man has been murdered.That very night, he has a date with Jess. However, has he takes a leak, he starts to transform i...

Video Giorgio 97 Dead HeatThere’s a new gang in LA and they aren’t about subtlety. They attack jewelry stores during the day, wielding Uzis(with jungle-taped mags) and grenades. And they shrug off being shot dozens of time. Not to worry, inspectors Roger Mortis(Treat Williams) and Doug Bigelow(Joe Piscopo) and those two aren’t big on discretion either.After taking out the perps with relatively necessary use of deadly force, they get a call from the coroner. Turns out the men had already been autopsied. By her. She has polaroids. Which is NOT the weirdest thing that’ll happen on that fateful day.Investigating the case, the pair ends up in t...

Melvin Smiley(Mark Wahlberg) is part of a crew of hitmen/underwear models. Sounds nice until you realize poor Mel is doing most of the killing while the others have coffee. With non-dairy cream. The bastards. They also bully him into giving up on the bonus for their latest contract. And one of them leaves Mel with a corpse to keep for the week-end.Mel also has a bit of a cash problems. He’s got two girls: Pam(Christina Applegate) his JEWISH fiancée who knows nothing about his work and Chantel(Lela Rochon), his African-american mistress who does know and is awfully okay with it. Both are sucking him dry. Financially.Our sociopathic hero has...

Video Giorgio 95 Accident ManMike Fallon(Scott Adkins) is an assassin. His thing is making his kills look like accidents. He’s pretty good at it. So much so that he’s an insufferable c&*t. Fortunately,  he hangs out with an assortment of colorful fellow hitmen in a private bar owned by his mentor(Ray Stevenson). There’s a pair of supercharged ex soldiers(Michael Jai White and Ray Park), a sassy samurai(Amy Johnston), an endearing axe murderer(Ross O’Hennessy) and a finicky fella (Perry Benson).Then his ex gets fridged and he goes on a rampage, somewhat aided by her new girlfriend(Ashley Greene).Anyone following Adkins on Twitter knows this...

Video Giorgio 94 ManhunterThere’s a psycho(Tom Noonan) on the loose butchering entire families. Desperate for a break, the FBI drags former agent Wil Graham(William Petersen) back in using guilt-tripping. Will is great at getting inside the head of the killers. Not so much at getting out. Hence the hiatus. Needing a bit of a boost, he even visits a former quarry of his, a certain Doctor Hannibal Lecktor(Brian Cox).Manhunter came out in 1986, several years before horror thriller Silence of the Lambs scored big at the Oscars with Hopkins’s hammy cannibal and Jodie Foshter’s Agent Clarish Shtarling. It was adapted from Thomas Harris’s Red Dra...

Video Giorgio 93 Grosse Pointe BlankMartin Blank(John Cusack) is a professional killer with a lot on his plate. His last two hits have failed and he’s got a high school reunion coming up.  As luck would have it, said reunion is taking place not too far from where Blank is supposed to whack his next target. His psychiatrist suggests that he attends the party. Might help him deal with his energizer-bunny themed dreams. It’d also give him the occasion to catch up with his sweetheart Debi(Minnie Driver).Fine in theory, not so much in practice. His childhood home is gone, replaced by a 7/11. His mom is in a retirement home, suffering from demen...

Video Giorgio 92 Check PointI used to look down on people who dig The Room for its Tommy Wiseau-ness. Then a faithful afternoon, I indulged in some daytime drinking. Sprite’n raspberry vodkas to be precise. And I found something of Netflix…There is a whole lot going on in Port City, North Carolina. A homegrown terrorist group is planning on stealing a battleship(of the naval-museum sort) and sailing it up north to kill the president. A local restaurant owner is kidnapping American soldiers and decapitating them on camera. A vagrant(Kenny Johnson) is doing a whooooooooooole lot of walking around with Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Simple Kind of Man play...

Video Giorgio 91 PreacherI’m taking a look at the AMC, Seth Rogen produced adaptation of a comic  written by a personal favorite of mine, Garth Ennis.  SPOOOIIIIIIIIIILERS AHEAD !!!Jesse Custer(Dominic Cooper) is  a preacher in Annville, Texas. He’s trying to lead his community towards minimal human decency and failing miserably. His most faithful parishioner is Eugene, a teenager(Ian Coletti) who tried to commit murder-suicide and now bears a face that looks like an arse and is a walking nexus of spite for the rest of the town. For those wondering why he’s not rotting away in jail: yes, he is white and his dad is sheriff.Jesse drinks heav...

Video Giorgio 90 Rainbow Six Raven ShieldRainbow Six is an international tactical unit going around bagging bad guys(there is a plot about old nazi bastards but who cares). Choose your team and load-out. Plan every step. Cross your fingers and have fun!Like a lot of geeks, my first exposure to the world of tactical shooters was the Spoony One’s Let’s Play of SWAT 4. Right during that time I had grown tired of CODs and hadn’t yet embraced Borderlands. I bought and played it because of his videos and I doubt I I was the only one. Yall think he ever got a thank you letter from them?It was a fun game. No health or ammo pick-ups. You must watch...

Video Giorgio 89 Under SiegeLet’s take a look at a… shall we say ¨interesting¨ figures of modern action flick? Here’s a movie featuring Aikido-expert, Buddhist, environment activist and Putin fanboy Steven Seagal!Casey Ryback(Seagal) is a pony tail sporting cook on the USS Missouri, an American battleship. Everybody likes him from the lowly breakdancing sailor to the captain himself. Except for the XO, but he is played by Gary Busey(and some brown noser) so that doesn’t really count. Ryback and XO trade blows over the sabotaging a big ol’ pot of bouillabaisse with his authoritarian spit.Our rebel chef gets locked up in the freezer. Meanwhi...