Idiota!

I clasped my hands behind the back of my head and surrendered, I let my fake gun tumble to the floor of the aircraft aisle where it landed with a soft ‘thud’ of harmless plastic. Jahzara, the Ethiopian Airlines senior stewardess strode towards me, a triumphant smile on her face. We were in the deserted section of the plane into which I had fled after Jahzara and her coven of colleagues had decided not to follow my instructions and ask the captain to divert this Rome to Addis Ababa flight to Sudan: in fact they had just laughed at me. So I did what I always did when faced with the mockery of women - I ran away.
And now, at bay, with nowhere to go at 30,000 feet, pursued by a single female flight attendant, I imposed on myself the final indignity: unconditional surrender to an unarmed woman.
The green uniformed vixen continued to smile as she approached me. “Turn around please, Signor Coppola,” she told me in perfect Italian, “and place your hands behind your back. I need to tie you up now.” She produced a green neckscarf from her tailored jacket pocket and I bowed my head in shame as I did as she instructed.
Practiced female hands soon had my wrists securely bound behind me. She kept her nyloned knees demurely together below the hemline of her skirt as he bent to retrieve my discarded weapon to examine it.
Then she almost intimately took me by the elbow to escort me, now as her tied prisoner, back up the aisle from where I had come.
“We knew your gun was not real, signor,” the witch told me delightedly, “there was still a red plastic cover over the muzzle!” She laughed to herself, shaking her head. “Idiota!” she added.
My humiliation was complete.