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literature
Hole In My Boot
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Literature Text
there's a hole in the sole of my boot
small and kinda round-ish, letting in the outside
with its 'cooler than you' attitude
I don't recall exactly how it got there
worn into my sole like
time beating pebbles into sand
you always told me to be patient like that
wait, and good things will come
but then, you wouldn't remember that
now would you
help me to my feet
I'm drowning on land
memory pulls me under
while you
you float on downstream, oblivious
without me
there's a hole in my soul
and you put it there
small and kinda round-ish, letting in the outside
with its 'cooler than you' attitude
I don't recall exactly how it got there
worn into my sole like
time beating pebbles into sand
you always told me to be patient like that
wait, and good things will come
but then, you wouldn't remember that
now would you
help me to my feet
I'm drowning on land
memory pulls me under
while you
you float on downstream, oblivious
without me
there's a hole in my soul
and you put it there
A short poem that was bugging me this morning, so I jotted it down real quick.
It took me a while to figure out what it was really about, but I think it's a letter from my character Bryce to his team.
No wonder it's so sad...
poem (c) me
Bryce Langley (c) me
It took me a while to figure out what it was really about, but I think it's a letter from my character Bryce to his team.
No wonder it's so sad...
poem (c) me
Bryce Langley (c) me
© 2010 - 2025 0ArmoredSoul0
Comments6
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yay! poetry! I like critiquing poetry 
I really like the idea behind this poem - it works really well. The language is also really good. I like the "hole in the sole" and "hole in the soul", its good, working assonance
Playing around with sounds is always fun. Great job with that I also like the 'cooler than you' line. It works really well.
I do wonder about the stanzas though, would regular stanzas suit the poem a little more? I'm a fan of tercets and this poem seems to have the right mood for it (a little off balance...emotional...that kind of stuff).
I wonder about the last word in each of the line as well. A general rule of thumb is to end on nouns, verbs, strong words. It's just a suggestion - it could help balance out some of the lines.
Great job
I really like the idea behind this poem - it works really well. The language is also really good. I like the "hole in the sole" and "hole in the soul", its good, working assonance
Playing around with sounds is always fun. Great job with that I also like the 'cooler than you' line. It works really well.I do wonder about the stanzas though, would regular stanzas suit the poem a little more? I'm a fan of tercets and this poem seems to have the right mood for it (a little off balance...emotional...that kind of stuff).
I wonder about the last word in each of the line as well. A general rule of thumb is to end on nouns, verbs, strong words. It's just a suggestion - it could help balance out some of the lines.
Great job