Impressively comprehensive guide covers nuances of consent.
Parents Need to Know
Why Age 11+?
Any Positive Content?
Sex, Romance & Nudity
a lot
There's a section titled, "For when you are ready" that goes into detail about sexual consent. Crushes, kissing, touching private parts, "feeling horny," masturbating, oral sex, penetrative sex, sexting/sharing stuff privately online, STIs, condoms, lube, and birth control are all discussed. It begins, "We want people of all ages to read this book, including kids -- because practicing consent needs to start way before sex does. To make this section approachable for kids to read, we have not gotten too detailed with the many and various forms of sexual intimacy. To be clear this section is not about how to have sex. It is about consent - which is a massive part of sex." There are illustrations of straight and gay couples with their arms around each other and lips puckered toward each other. In one, two girls are wearing bras and underwear. Porn is also briefly covered with phrasing like, "a lot of what's considered 'mainstream' heterosexual porn includes niche activities that aren't actually very enjoyable for many people. Porn can have the effect of normalizing action that is degrading, painful, and even violent."
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Issues regarding consent when alcohol and drugs are involved are covered in depth. The authors include a 6-step plan on how to reduce harm if a young person decides to drink.
Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Drinking, Drugs & Smoking in your kid's entertainment guide.
Stalking and obsessing over another person are briefly discussed, explaining that if "feelings aren't returned, then it's really important to understand consent. Stalking someone is not OK - online, at school, anywhere. Making them uncomfortable is not fun. Writing their name over and over in your journal? A little bit fun." There are also brief mentions of some types of porn being misogynistic, violent, and degrading toward women, as well as a paragraph on sexual harassment.
Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Violence & Scariness in your kid's entertainment guide.
Teaches tweens and teens all about the concept of consent and how it applies to situations that occur everyday to everyone, as well as pertaining to sex and dating. Explains that giving consent means knowing what you're OK with and what you're not OK with -- and being confident enough to communicate that clearly. Also that it's equally important that you understand how to treat others -- by asking for consent and by listening to and respecting their answers.
Positive Messages
a lot
The underlying message of the book is that the reader is the "boss of their whole body" and that it's important to set and respect your own boundaries. The importance of asking for, continually checking-in on, and respecting the consent of others is also emphasized.
Diverse Representations
a lot
The book's text and and illustrations are representative of a spectrum of genders, sexual identities, and skin colors. There are also quotes from teenagers and young adults who have ADHD, autism, anxiety, etc. as well as illustrations of various physical abilities, limb differences, and young people who use mobility devices.
There are quotes throughout the book from real tweens and teenagers talking openly about their interest in and experience with consent. They're all very relatable anecdotes, including a 14-year-old's story of being pressured to kiss her boyfriend by their friends and the effect that experience had on her next romantic relationship at age 16.
Parents Need to Know
Parents need to know that Welcome to Consent by Yumi Stynes and Dr. Melissa Kang (Welcome to Your Period) is a comprehensive guide for 11- to 14-year-olds on personal boundaries and consent. Most of the book talks in general terms, but a few sections are dedicated solely to romantic relationships and sex. Crushes, kissing, touching private parts, "feeling horny," masturbating, oral sex, penetrative sex, sexting/sharing stuff privately online, STIs, condoms, lube, and birth control are all discussed. The authors stress that this section is not a "how to" guide but rather meant to educate tweens and teens on the choices they may need to make (and respect) boundaries for in the future. Some illustrations show couples with their arms around each other and poised to kiss. In one, two girls are wearing bras and underwear. Porn is also briefly covered with phrasing like, "Porn can have the effect of normalizing action that is degrading, painful, and even violent." Sensitive subject matter is discussed in a mature but age appropriate way. The overarching message is that everyone deserves to set their own boundaries and to have them respected, and emphasis is put on the need to seek consent as well as the need to give it.
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What's the Story?
In WELCOME TO CONSENT, adolescent health doctor/researcher Dr. Melissa Kang teams up with Yumi Stynes, host of the podcast Ladies, We Need to Talk About Health and Sexuality, to bring the most comprehensive guide available on boundaries and consent to tweens and young teens. Stynes said they wrote the book because, "Many of the discussions around consent, the putrid effects of porn on real-world sex, and keeping us all safe in moments of intimacy come back to teaching about sex and consent and starting that teaching young."
This is an empowering reference guide for tweens and teens that teaches the importance of setting boundaries and understanding consent. While Welcome to Consent may be too dense to read all at once, it serves as an essential resource for young readers to revisit whenever needed. With engaging illustrations, relatable quotes from real teenagers, and lots of practical advice, the book covers the many nuances of consent -- getting into how things like self-image, peer pressure, and maturity can affect consent and emphasizing the importance of ongoing communication, specificity, and recognizing power dynamics. It also provides guidance on handling uncomfortable feelings related to withholding consent and highlights the need for enthusiastic agreement.
The authors deserve praise for their important work, overcoming harsh criticism, online harassment, and even death threats to create an invaluable life tool for young readers, equipping them with crucial knowledge, offering specific tools and scenarios to navigate healthy relationships, and fostering an environment where open communication and respect can help build a safer world. Every child who gets their hands on this book will be a healthier adult for reading it.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about why it's important to keep checking in when it comes to consent and how and why consent can change in various circumstances. What are some good phrases to use to check in with others regarding consent in everyday circumstances? What about in romantic or sexual situations?
How do power dynamics come into play with consent? Discuss some examples of times when a person might not have the power to give consent. How do things like age, social status, and roles of authority play into this? What can you or any other young person do if their boundaries aren't respected?
What are some phrases or actions you would feel comfortable using when you don't give consent to something that's happening? Try role playing to use these phrases in different situtations.
Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by
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Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are created by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners.
By Stephanie Morgan
,
based on child development research. How do we rate?
