Parents' Guide to

To All the Boys I've Loved Before, Book 1

Book Jenny Han Coming of Age 2014
To All the Boys I've Loved Before, Book 1 Poster Image

Common Sense Media Review

Kate Pavao By Kate Pavao , based on child development research. How do we rate?

age 13+

Sassy sisters steal the show in well-told romantic read.

Parents Need to Know

Why Age 13+?

Any Positive Content?

Parent and Kid Reviews

See all
age 12+

Based on 8 parent reviews

Tasiona
Tasiona Adult
June 11, 2021
age 10+

THEY OVER EXAGGERATED

This book is great for ages 10+ because there are some ups and downs to this book. The up is that it has positive messages. For example, during the story the narrator explains that "We are sisters, and there's nothing she or I can ever say or do to change that." and this shows kids that you should be thankful for what you have because family is everything and you get put with a family when you're born and a family is a family so you have to make due with what you have! One of the downs is that their is some language and sexual stuff, not too much detail just some kissing and rumors about people having sex and all of that! But I think that if your kid has the run down that they dont let other people touch them and all that fun stuff then I think its just right for them!!
frotelli.ma'am
frotelli.ma'am Adult
January 26, 2021
age 11+

Cute, good messages about friendship and sisterhood. Description exaggerated immensly
See all 8 parent reviews

What's the Story?

Poor Lara Jean. The half-Korean narrator of TO ALL THE BOYS I LOVED BEFORE has a romantic side, and has written love letters to five different boys. ("They aren't love letters in the strictest sense of the word. My letters are for when I don't want to be in love anymore.") She never meant the love letters she wrote to boys to actually leave her possession, but suddenly some of the recipients are letting her know they got a letter in the mail, including Josh, the recent-ex boyfriend of her older sister Margot. Mortified, Lara Jean goes to a serious extreme to get things back to normal, including starting a fake relationship with Peter -- who got a letter of his own. Suddenly, she's part of a crazy love triangle (or actually two).

Is It Any Good?

Our review:
Parents say (8 ):
Kids say (71 ):

The plot is a bit contrived: If you were writing letters that you never meant to send, why would you address them? But once teens get over that bit, this is a book they will love. Romance may be driving the plot -- and it's certainly fun trying to figure out who Lara Jean will ultimately end up with -- but it's really the relationship of these sisters that make this book so amazing. There's perfect Margot, romantic Lara Jean, and cute-but-bratty Kitty, who all work hard to keep their family together after their mom's death: baking special Christmas cookies, lying to their white dad about the quality of his Korean food, even inventing a crazy dance that ends in the splits.


The details make the family seem really real. That's why the book's most spine-tingling scene is not about who's kissing whom but rather the moment when the tension finally breaks between Margot and Lara Jean, making the narrator realize: "We are sisters, and there's nothing she or I can every say or do to change that."

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about Lara Jean. She and her sisters are half-Korean, while mixed-race characters are pretty rare in children's books, which lack diversity overall. Have you read other books that feature a family with a mixed-race background? Why do you think diversity is so lacking in kids' and YA books?

  • Why do you think stories with love triangles are so popular? What other books you've read or movies you've seen use this device? How did you hope the one in To All the Boys I Ever Loved would work out?

  • What do you think Lara Jean will write in her final letter to Peter? What will happen next between them?

Book Details

Did we miss something on diversity?

Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by

See all recommended book lists

Want suggestions based on your streaming services? Get personalized recommendations

Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are created by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners.

See how we rate