Parents' Guide to

How to Be a Girl in the World

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Common Sense Media Review

Mandie Caroll By Mandie Caroll , based on child development research. How do we rate?

age 11+

Engaging coming-of-ager tackles sexual harassment of tween.

Parents Need to Know

Why Age 11+?

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What's the Story?

In HOW TO BE A GIRL IN THE WORLD, we meet Lydia dressed in long sleeves and sweats, in the August heat of a Brooklyn summer. We quickly learn that she's trying to deflect unwanted attention from her growing body. Boys at school and Lydia's mother's boyfriend, Jeremy, have teased and touched her in ways that make her skin crawl, but she worries she's overreacting, especially when her friends tell her she's lucky the boys "flirt" with her. Emma, her cousin, seems to enjoy hugs from Jeremey, and her dad doesn't stop a manspreader from touching her at a Met's game. Lydia's mother buys a run-down fixer-upper, and Lydia likes its creepiness, but is thrilled when she finds a spell book that contains a spell for protection. She hopes the magic will stop the teasing boys at school and Jeremey from touching her and Emma. But when the magic doesn't work, how will Lydia manage to ever feel safe again?

Is It Any Good?

Our review:
Parents say Not yet rated
Kids say (1 ):

This powerful tale of a girl trying to make sense of the world is an urgent and necessary book to keep conversations going in our post-#metoo era. How to Be a Girl in the World's preteen characters are realistic and sympathetic. The various forms of violation described in this story advance the book's central questions: Is any form of unwanted touch acceptable? Who gets to decide? Author Caela Carter trusts her readers' ability to handle nuance and decide for themselves. Carter's writing is well-paced and clear, her characters are interesting, and the resolution is quiet satisfying.

The lack of depth regarding why so many girls in this book seem to accept sexual attention, and, at times, to actively desire it, may bother some readers. This may unintentionally imply that some girls want such attention, since they aren't vocally objecting to it. It's also never quite clear why Lydia doesn't reach out to her family for help sooner. These concerns aside, this is a strong and memorable story, one that can inspire tween readers to stand up for themselves and others when faced with unwanted attention.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about the sexual harassment Lydia (and Emma) experience in How to Be a Girl in the World. How does Lydia try to protect herself? How does she try to figure out what's acceptable and what's not? What do you and your family think is acceptable or not when it comes to teasing and touching?

  • Lydia observes Emma and her friends deal with unwanted touch and sexual attention in different ways. Do these different reactions surprise you? How do you think you'd react? Who could you go to for help in understanding these issues?

  • What do Lydia and Emma ultimately learn over the course of the story? What does the book say about staying silent and keeping secrets? Who can you trust for help with big problems?

Book Details

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