Parents' Guide to

Everything We Never Had

Everything We Never Had book cover: Father, son, and grandfather on a walk together against a backdrop motif of apple picking

Common Sense Media Review

Kyle Jackson By Kyle Jackson , based on child development research. How do we rate?

age 13+

Four generations face generational trauma in powerful saga.

Parents Need to Know

Why Age 13+?

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What's the Story?

In EVERYTHING WE NEVER HAD, Francisco, who emigrated to California from the Philippines in 1930 after his own father deserted him, opens a window onto the experiences of migrant laborers in the 1930s. His son, Emil, forges a path to education and success as an engineer, while the mostly absent Francisco is absorbed in farmworker activism in the 1960s. Emil's son, Chris, discouraged from embracing his Filipino heritage by his father, reconnects with his family history in the library, obsessively researching the Marcos dictatorship in the Philippines in the 1980s. Chris' son, Enzo, who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, finds himself stuck in a house with his emotionally distant father and grandfather during the COVID-19 pandemic. Each young man has to find his own way to avoid making the mistakes of his father, with Enzo representing the best hope to break the cycle of grief, pain, and disconnect that has plagued the family.

Is It Any Good?

Our review:
Parents say: Not yet rated
Kids say: Not yet rated

These four overlapping stories are sweeping and exciting, drawing the reader in to the worlds of the characters. Ribay's writing is vivid, historically informative, emotionally resonant, and often funny as the narrative moves back and forth in time between adolescent experiences of the four Maghabol men, focusing on their troubled relationships with their fathers. His compelling account of the pandemic lockdown experience shows, in disturbingly familiar ways, how social isolation and doomscrolling impacted teens. In the author's note at the end of the novel, he talks about the intense archival work he did to paint an accurate picture of farmworkers' history in the Central Valley of California, and that he consulted a psychologist about how to depict symptoms of anxiety, which shines through in the parts about Enzo's battles with the "murder hornets" in his head. The book may be especially relevant for young adult readers from Filipino or multiracial families, or those with immigrant backgrounds, but they are by no means the only audience for this fantastic novel. Every teenager, to some extent, grapples with finding their place—in history, in the world at large, and within their own family. Everything We Never Had is a profound meditation on this coming-of-age struggle, and on the American experience.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about the genre of historical fiction. How can fictional works help people understand the past?

  • Why do you think Filipino American history is so absent in media and school curriculums, even compared to other historically underrepresented groups? How can this be changed?

  • What role can media, including books, play in starting conversations about mental health and intergenerational trauma?

  • How do communication and empathy impact the men of this family? How might they affect your family relationships?

Book Details

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