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Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People) Hardcover – September 13, 2022

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 184 ratings

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Named one of "22 new books…that you should consider reading before the year is out" by Fortune

"This practical and empathetic guide to taking the high road is worth a look for workers lost in conflict." — Publisher's Weekly

A research-based, practical guide for how to handle difficult people at work.

Work relationships can be hard. The stress of dealing with difficult people dampens our creativity and productivity, degrades our ability to think clearly and make sound decisions, and causes us to disengage. We might lie awake at night worrying, withdraw from work, or react in ways we later regret—rolling our eyes in a meeting, snapping at colleagues, or staying silent when we should speak up.

Too often we grin and bear it as if we have no choice. Or throw up our hands because one-size-fits-all solutions haven't worked. But you can only endure so much thoughtless, irrational, or malicious behavior—there's your sanity to consider, and your career.

In Getting Along, workplace expert and Harvard Business Review podcast host Amy Gallo identifies eight familiar types of difficult coworkers—the insecure boss, the passive-aggressive peer, the know-it-all, the biased coworker, and others—and provides strategies tailored to dealing constructively with each one. She also shares principles that will help you turn things around, no matter who you're at odds with. Taking the high road isn't easy, but Gallo offers a crucial perspective on how work relationships really matter, as well as the compassion, encouragement, and tools you need to prevail—on your terms. She answers questions such as: Why can't I stop thinking about that nasty email?! What's behind my problem colleague's behavior? How can I fix things if they won't cooperate? I've tried everything—what now?

Full of relatable, sometimes cringe-worthy examples, the latest behavioral science research, and practical advice you can use right now, Getting Along is an indispensable guide to navigating your toughest relationships at work—and building interpersonal resilience in the process.


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From the Publisher

How to work with anyone (even difficult people)

An accessible, actionable book about how to navigate your toughest collaborations.

A clear guide to navigating the murky waters of relationships at work.

Tells us how to work well, even with that jerk we wish would get another job.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"a brilliant, easy-to-read book on how to deal with any type of colleague who may cross your path. Using research, plus interviews and her own personal experiences, Gallo has written a book that is to the point, practical and encouraging." — Institute of Leadership and Management Edge magazine

"Getting Along by Amy Gallo is an indispensable guide to navigating your toughest relationships at work—and building interpersonal resilience in the process." — SHRM (Society of Human Resource Management)

Named one of The Best Leadership Books of 2022 by LeadershipNow.com

"[Amy Gallo] has a long record of writing accessibly about workplace dynamics. Dealing with tormentors and other tricky colleagues is hard, but for each of the character types, Gallo sets out step-by-step tactics. Most of all, she encourages us to understand the underlying issues before we react to problem colleagues" — Financial Times

"The bottom line is that Getting Along can give you confidence to try to improve tough relationships at work (including ones where you might be part of the problem.)" — Charter (charterworks.com)

Named a Top Voice in Gender Equity by LinkedIn

Advance Praise for Getting Along:

"We all go to work with a relationship résumé that shapes how we feel about ourselves, how we trust, how we communicate, and how we manage conflict. Getting Along offers a clear guide to navigating the murky waters of relationships at work." — Esther Perel, psychotherapist; New York Times bestselling author; host, Where Should We Begin? and How's Work? podcasts

"Amy Gallo is that rare combination of a first-class thinker and a wonderful writer. Getting Along tells us how to work well, even with that jerk we wish would get another job. Highly recommend." — Daniel Goleman, bestselling author, Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence

"Getting Along is both practical and wise. And Amy Gallo is exactly the person you want by your side for the next step of your professional journey." — Amy C. Edmondson, Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management, Harvard Business School; author, The Fearless Organization

"An accessible, actionable book about how to navigate your toughest collaborations—and turn them into some of your most rewarding work relationships." — Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author, Think Again; host, TED WorkLife podcast

"A must-have for everyone in the workforce. Amy Gallo's handbook is a treasure chest of practical, evidence-based tips. I will be referring to and recommending this essential guide for years to come!" — Dolly Chugh, author, The Person You Mean to Be and A More Just Future

"If you've ever lost sleep over a relationship at work, this book is for you. Amy Gallo has written a research-backed guide filled with relatable stories to help you turn the most complicated interactions into something to learn from." — Linda A. Hill, Wallace Brett Donham Professor of Business Administration, Harvard Business School; coauthor, Collective Genius and Being the Boss

"In this wise and deeply researched book, Amy Gallo has presented a powerful and actionable framework for dealing with difficult coworkers. No matter your situation, better working relationships start here." — Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author, The Power of Regret, WHEN, and DRIVE

About the Author

Amy Gallo is a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review. She is the author of the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict and a cohost of HBR's Women at Work podcast. Her articles have been collected in dozens of books on emotional intelligence, giving and receiving feedback, time management, and leadership. As a sought-after speaker and facilitator, Gallo has helped thousands of leaders deal with conflict more effectively and navigate complicated workplace dynamics. She is a graduate of Yale University and holds a master’s from Brown University.

Connect with Amy Gallo at amyegallo.com

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Harvard Business Review Press (September 13, 2022)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1647821061
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1647821067
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.25 x 1 x 9.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 184 ratings

About the author

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Amy Gallo
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Amy Gallo is a workplace expert who writes and speaks about gender, interpersonal dynamics, difficult conversations, feedback, and effective communication. She works with individuals and teams to help them better collaborate, communicate, and transform their culture to support dissent and debate.

Gallo is the author of: Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People) and the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict. She has written hundreds of articles for Harvard Business Review, where she is a contributing editor. Her writing has been collected in numerous books including ones on feedback, emotional intelligence, and managing others.

For the past three years, Amy has co-hosted HBR’s popular Women at Work podcast, which examines the struggles and successes of women in the workplace.

Gallo has delivered keynotes and workshops at hundreds of companies and conferences. Plus, she is frequently sought out by media outlets for her perspective on workplace dynamics, conflict, and difficult conversations. Her advice has been featured in The New York Times, Fast Company, Marketplace, and The Austin American-Statesman, as well as on WNYC, the BBC, and ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation).

She has taught at Brown University and the University of Pennsylvania and is a graduate of both Brown and Yale University.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
184 global ratings
Like Getting One-to-One Coaching From An Expert
5 out of 5 stars
Like Getting One-to-One Coaching From An Expert
When you read this book you KNOW the author has had the same kinds of real world experience you do when dealing with difficult people. Gallo goes out of her way to let you know she has gone through the same crap you have and wants to pass on what she has learned. She uses research and her own first hand experiences in this book. You will find yourself nodding and cheering as you take in her stories of her handling her own challenges and what she learned as a result. She even gives you insight into the personalities you will encounter and then gives you best practices and tactics for handling them. This book will help so many of us who are at our wits end with certain people/co-workers and bosses. Highly recommend.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on July 25, 2024
I loved the structure of the book. The definitions of the archetypes and the strategies for navigating or changing them were truly enlightening. As I read, I often found my own approaches to dealing with different personalities validated or challenged. Additionally, there's a comprehensive section on what to do when all else fails. This book is fantastic, especially for those who struggle with office politics. Office politics are inevitable; the question is whether you know how to handle them to your advantage. If you don't, you should read this book.
Reviewed in the United States on September 30, 2022
This was a stunning read! Amy Gallo is a long-time expert on workplace conflict and being introduced to the 8 archetypes of difficult colleagues at work was at the same time, validating (phew! I'm not alone in encountering these!) and also reassuring (ok, now I can name the behaviors, I can begin to address them!)

Amy writes in a wonderfully conversational style which makes such a research-backed book a pleasure to read. The stories are enlightening and engrossing, which is rare in a workplace book, where stories can feel like an afterthought.

I walked away with actionable advice on how to navigate workplace relationships and show up as a better leader, mentor and colleague. What I most appreciated was how in moments where you encounter people who are truly toxic, Amy gives you permission to distance yourself from people who do more harm than good. That, also, is such a smart and trauma-informed perspective vs. typical management reads that force you to keep trying to "make it work" even if you end up damaged and broken from each encounter.

Thank you, Amy, for this gift of a book! I have three copies for my home, office and team use and have bought several more as gifts. Go out and buy this book!!
9 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on March 21, 2023
While this book serves as a helpful guideline of the variety of drivers for why people may be "difficult" to work with, I don't feel that this book offered wisdom for the really tough issues. I was disappointed since I was hopeful this book would help me navigate a situation with several people (none reporting to me) expressing a variety of unpleasant and challenging behaviors (one is essentially unfit for role, the other is combative and not coachable, and another is disengaged). None of these "personas" appeared to be represented in the book - and I am not looking for prescriptive here, even by mixing/matching/combining the variety of personas, I couldn't use much of the content. I think that if you are new to the knowledge worker/professional environment, then it could be helpful to introduce people to the possible behaviors they may experience over their career and how to navigate them. But if you are a seasoned professional with reasonable wisdom and a lot of tricks already in your bag, I don't think this book is going to be a game changer for you.
19 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2023
I've read this book, used the contents to impact change in my work life, and shared it with many colleagues and friends. The book helps shift from "this is so annoying" to "I have agency to do something about this situation." And, super helpful that the most powerful changes we can make are to ourselves! I often check books out of the library, but this is one to purchase b/c you'll want to come back to the archetypes and tactics again and again. Amy Gallo is wise about many things so I recommend also reading her other work including her many great articles on Harvard Business Review and her podcast "Women at Work".
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 21, 2022
When you read this book you KNOW the author has had the same kinds of real world experience you do when dealing with difficult people. Gallo goes out of her way to let you know she has gone through the same crap you have and wants to pass on what she has learned. She uses research and her own first hand experiences in this book. You will find yourself nodding and cheering as you take in her stories of her handling her own challenges and what she learned as a result. She even gives you insight into the personalities you will encounter and then gives you best practices and tactics for handling them. This book will help so many of us who are at our wits end with certain people/co-workers and bosses. Highly recommend.
Customer image
5.0 out of 5 stars Like Getting One-to-One Coaching From An Expert
Reviewed in the United States on September 21, 2022
When you read this book you KNOW the author has had the same kinds of real world experience you do when dealing with difficult people. Gallo goes out of her way to let you know she has gone through the same crap you have and wants to pass on what she has learned. She uses research and her own first hand experiences in this book. You will find yourself nodding and cheering as you take in her stories of her handling her own challenges and what she learned as a result. She even gives you insight into the personalities you will encounter and then gives you best practices and tactics for handling them. This book will help so many of us who are at our wits end with certain people/co-workers and bosses. Highly recommend.
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5 people found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United States on October 2, 2022
I will not only recommend this book to people and culture (HR) professionals, my teams, mentees and managers, but I will also go back to it as a valuable resource for years to come. As I read this book, I found myself recalling difficult interactions with managers and colleagues over the years and wishing I had access then to this thoughtful and wise counsel. Amy deftly guides you through the typical personas found in most organizations and also asks you to reflect on your own role in the relationships you have at work. I'm confident I would have handled many situations with far more care and dexterity had I leaned into the tactics and principles shared in this book.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 16, 2023
The Author does an amazing job of tying physiological studies into easy to use tactics to manage and improve Emotional Intelligence.
The author has done a great job of making complex topics easy to understand and accesible.
Real life examples that are relatable.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2022
Product cover was dirty and damaged, but not worth the effort of return

Top reviews from other countries

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José Serrano
5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente fuente de conocimiento
Reviewed in Mexico on February 11, 2024
Muy profesional los conceptos que aquí se manejan. De aplicación inmediata y fácil comprensión.
Teatero
4.0 out of 5 stars Quick read
Reviewed in Canada on July 6, 2023
It's a nice quick read (large font). I found it lacking in substance, the suggestions were quite basic and similar across the archetypes of difficult people. I appreciated how the author focused on each of us being difficult sometimes and giving people the benefit of the doubt given our own cognitive biases.
One person found this helpful
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Prashant Augustine
4.0 out of 5 stars A good read
Reviewed in India on September 25, 2023
Gives a good insight and perspectives to build healthy interpersonal relationships at work
Alex
5.0 out of 5 stars Transformational
Reviewed in Australia on May 11, 2024
Truly transformational book by world renowned expert, Amy Gallo. For anyone who is in need of actionable, research-grounded strategies and tactics to navigate conflict and incivility at work.