RAINN - male survivors

Male Sexual Assault: The Road to Recovery

jocelynh — Wed, 28 Jun 2017 19:18:05 +0000

Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused face the same mental and physical effects as other survivors. Cultural stereotypes about men and how they portray masculinity can sometimes feel toxic to male survivors, adding additional challenges to their experience.

Recovering from sexual assault or abuse is a process that looks different for everyone, and it’s important to support a survivor, no matter their gender identity. Focusing on self-care after a sexual assault is a vital step toward recovery. Sexual assault can affect the physical and emotional health of a survivor, so it’s important to address both components of self-care. Should a victim choose to seek professional help, therapy can provide a space to openly discuss their thoughts and experiences.

One out of every 10 rape victims is male. It’s crucial to remind male survivors that they are not alone and share the services available to help them through their recovery.

Survivors can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline 800.656.HOPE (4653) or visit online.rainn.org to be connected with local sexual assault service providers in their area. RAINN also partners with 1in6, an organization dedicated to helping men who survived unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood. If something happened to you, know that you are not alone and help is available. This Men’s Health Month—and all year round—join RAINN in supporting all survivors.

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Survivor Story: Joe

meaghanb — Wed, 25 May 2016 15:35:21 +0000

Survivor Spotlight

Following his adoptive parents’ divorce, Joe began spending more time with his Boy Scout leader. When he was 13 years old, Joe’s troop traveled to the Gettysburg Battlefield with his Boy Scout troop for a jamboree. “My scout leader sexually assaulted me in his tent,” says Joe. His scout leader would continue to abuse him for the next three years.

Two years into the abuse, Joe was diagnosed as “mentally disturbed” by a health professional and placed in a new school. The new environment wasn’t enough, and he struggled to deal with the effects of the abuse. After incidents of sexual assault or abuse, men and boys often face unique challenges due to social norms about gender roles and masculinity.

Joe eventually turned to drugs and got in trouble with the law, having numerous stays in prison. During one of these stays, Joe’s father and grandfather came to visit him. It was then, nearly 40 years after the abuse began, that he told his family what happened.

Joe speaks openly about being affected by the stigma associated with being a survivor of sexual assault and living with mental health challenges. “Mental health struggles are lifelong issues for someone like me,” says Joe.

During his time in prison, he diagnosed with bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Media portrayals of PTSD, as well as the lack of understanding from his friends, made it all the more difficult for Joe to deal with. When he couldn’t find the support he needed in friends and family, he turned to his pets.

“[I love] my dogs because they accept me and love me,” Joe says of his red-nosed pitbull and black labrador.

As Joe grew to understand PTSD and bipolar disorder better, he felt more comfortable sharing his story. By talking openly about how the abuse affected his life, Joe was able to move his life in a more positive direction.

“I set myself on a path to improvement and have never stopped,” Joe says.

Read more about Joe’s story at The Bristlecone Project from 1in6, an organization dedicated to supporting adult male survivors of child sexual abuse.

If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, it’s not your fault. You are not alone. Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org, y en español: rainn.org/es.

Keith’s Story

meaghanb — Wed, 09 Mar 2016 17:34:55 +0000

“The real healing was achieved when I started to sincerely believe I’m not responsible for what happened to me.”

When Keith Smith was 14 years old, he was abducted, beaten and raped by a stranger in the woods in his hometown. He reported the assault to the police, and the perpetrator was arrested. Keith testified in front of a grand jury and the perpetrator was indicted—but the the man responsible never stood trial. Before the trial date, the perpetrator was beaten to death by unknown assailants.

The experience haunted Keith, and he remained silent about the assault for the next 35 years. “I was afraid of what people would think. I was ashamed that a man sexually assaulted me…that I didn't fight hard enough.” Men and boys may experience the same effects of sexual assault as other survivors, and they can experience additional challenges due to social norms about masculinity.

Keith also felt pressure to keep his story a secret to eliminate the possibility that his “protectors,” the unnamed people who murdered the perpetrator, would be arrested. “My brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, teachers, coaches, professors, priests, doctors and colleagues were unaware. My mother didn't fully understand what happened, and my daughters knew nothing. No one knew. It was my secret. My choice.”

Second Paragraph:

It took a long time for Keith to open up, but the more he told his story, the easier it became to shed his guilt. “The real healing was achieved when I started to sincerely believe I’m not responsible for what happened to me.”

Today, Keith is vigilant about educating the public on the reality of sexual violence and how it affects men and boys. As an active member of RAINN’s Speakers Bureau, he frequently speaks about his experience to local communities in New York City. Keith has also written a novel based on the experience, “Men in My Town,” which tells Keith’s story in tangent with a fictionalized account of the townspeople who sought retribution by murdering the perpetrator.

“It was time to be honest with myself and to stop keeping this secret from the people closest to me...most importantly my daughters.” Keith hopes that by sharing his story, he can let other survivors know they are not alone. “I’m not saying you’ve got to disclose. I’m saying if you’re strong enough, and if you can, give RAINN a call. RAINN is a safe place.”

Keith is one of seven survivors featured in the RAINN Survivor Series. Learn more about the campaign.

Callout box position:

To the right of second paragraph

Callout Box:

Meet Keith

5 words that describe me:

Compassionate
Focused
Protective
Thoughtful
Vigilant

Advice to survivors:

“If you are able to disclose, tell someone. Call RAINN. There are people who can help you start healing.“

On recovering:

“When I was able to shed the guilt, shame, embarrassment and fear — by truly believing it wasn’t my fault — I was able to make the transition from sexual assault victim to sexual assault survivor. “

Survivor Story

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Types of Sexual Violence

megb — Wed, 24 Feb 2016 19:23:09 +0000

Types of Sexual Violence

The term "sexual violence" is an all-encompassing, non-legal term that refers to crimes like sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse. Many of these crimes are described below. Please note that the legal definition of crimes vary from state to state. There are often other crimes and forms of violence that arise jointly with crimes like sexual assault, and these are described as well.

Sexual Assault

Sexual assault can take many different forms and be defined in different ways, but one thing remains the same: it’s never the victim’s fault.

Child Sexual Abuse

When a perpetrator intentionally harms a minor physically, psychologically, sexually, or by acts of neglect, the crime is known as child abuse.

Sexual Assault of Men and Boys

Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused may also face some additional challenges because of social attitudes and stereotypes about men and masculinity.

Intimate Partner Sexual Violence

A perpetrator can have any relationship to a victim, and that includes the role of an intimate partner.

Incest

Regardless of how the law defines incest, unwanted sexual contact from a family member can have a lasting effect on the survivor.

Drug-Facilitated Sexual Assault

In cases of drug-facilitated sexual assault, survivors often blame themselves. Remember—you are not to blame. You are the only one allowed to make choices for your body. Using drugs or alcohol is never an excuse for assault and does not mean that it was your fault.

Sexual Harassment - You should be able to feel comfortable in your place of work or learning. If you are being sexually harassed, you can report it to the authorities at your job, school, or local law enforcement.
Stalking - Learn more about stalking behaviors to help you notice them before they escalate—and take steps to protect yourself.
Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse - Many perpetrators of sexual abuse are in a position of trust or responsible for the child’s care, such as a family member, teacher, clergy member, coach, or other children such as older siblings.
Using Technology to Hurt Others - Some people use technology, such as digital photos, videos, apps, and social media, to engage in harassing, unsolicited, or non-consensual sexual interactions.
Sexual Abuse by Medical Professionals - When you go to the doctor, dentist, hospital or physical therapist, or see other medical professionals, you trust them to treat you with respect as they care for your health.
Sexual Exploitation by Helping Professionals - Sexual exploitation by a helping professional is a serious violation of your trust and, in many cases, the law.

Multiple-Perpetrator Sexual Assault - Multiple-perpetrator sexual assault, sometimes called gang rape, occurs when two or more perpetrators act together to sexually assault the same victim.
Elder Abuse - As the number of older adults in America increases, it will become all the more important to be aware of the warning signs of elder abuse.
Sexual Abuse of People with Disabilities - Consent is crucial when any person engages in sexual activity, but it plays an even bigger, and more complicated role when someone has a disability.
Prisoner Rape - If you’re an inmate, a former inmate, or know an inmate who survived sexual assault while in prison, there are resources available to you.
Military Sexual Trauma - Military Sexual Trauma, or MST, is the term used by the Department of Veteran Affairs to describe the effects of sexual violence experienced by a military Service member.
Legal Role of Consent - The legal definitions for terms like rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse vary from state to state. Consent often plays an important role in determining whether an act is legally considered a crime.

RAINN has given me the courage and strength to stand up for what is right. Julianna, survivor

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Survivor Stories

sadmin — Thu, 11 Feb 2016 23:51:12 +0000

Survivor Stories

Adam is a survivor.

When Adam was 14, a normal encounter with his uncle suddenly turned abusive. “I took steps to prevent the pain, but a part of me thought that was how he loved me.” The abuse continued over the next four years. It took time for Adam to heal from the experience and become comfortable disclosing what happened. Today he proudly shares his story to remind survivors of sexual assault, especially men and boys, that they are not alone.

No one person's story is alike. No one survivor's experience is the same. RAINN's Speakers Bureau includes more than 3,600 survivors from different corners of the country and different life experiences who have a unique and important story to share.

Read Adam's Story

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Tell Your Survivor Story

You can help change the way people think about and respond to sexual violence. The RAINN Speakers Bureau connects survivors with opportunities to share their stories and educate the public through speaking events and media interviews.

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Truly elevating, truly healing. No words to express my gratitude—you made it all such a pleasant experience. I celebrate you and thank you. Brad, survivor

We’re here when you need us.

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Survivor Spotlight

1in6 and RAINN Launch Peer SupportGroup to Help Male Survivors

megb — Tue, 27 Oct 2015 00:00:00 +0000

About RAINN

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

(October 26, 2015) – Male survivors of childhood sexual abuse have a new way to find support and community online. 1in6 has partnered with RAINN to launch the Peer SupportGroup (PSG), a new online service for peer-to-peer support among male survivors. This is the second online support service launched by this dynamic partnership, beginning with the Online SupportLine in 2009.

“What started as a dream, where we would be able to provide anonymous, safe, and therapeutically-sound support groups to men in real-time, has become a reality,” said Steve LePore, founder and Executive Director of 1in6.

The first Peer SupportGroup session took place in early October 2015, with positive reviews from both users and moderators. The service functions similar to a group chat, where male survivors of childhood sexual abuse can support other men in their journey of trauma recovery. Men from all over the country can chat back and forth with one another and share their experiences during a 90-minute online session. Each session is moderated by a licensed clinician who provides therapeutically-sound guidance and a “gatekeeper” who has gone through extensive training to ensure the anonymity and safety of every participant.

All online services offered by 1in6, including the Peer SupportGroup, are operated using RAINN’s secure technology platform. RAINN has partnered with the country's top technology and online security companies to ensure that interactions on these platforms are safe and confidential. “We are thrilled to be partnering with 1in6 in the expansion of their online support services. We hope that the Peer SupportGroup will continue to help male survivors who might not have safe access to services in their community,” said Scott Berkowitz, president and founder of RAINN.

“Research shows there may be as many as 21 million men in the United States who had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood,” says LePore. “Many never seek help for the lasting effects of those experiences. Online support helps to lift barriers to getting help, like living far away from traditional services or feeling discouraged by social norms.”

1in6 and RAINN have a long history of providing online services for male survivors. In 2009 they launched the Online SupportLine, a one-on-one confidential chat service for men, and for people who care about them, who are seeking immediate information and resources related to unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood. The service grew quickly in popularity. At the start, the Online SupportLine was open two or three evenings per week. Today, the SupportLine is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

"Thanks to funding from the Ahmanson Foundation and dedication from 1in6, our dream of online peer support has become a reality. Men from across the country—perhaps from around the world—have a safe place, where they can discuss, maybe for the first time ever, what they may have wanted to discuss for so very long,” said LePore. As more users find support and comfort on the Peer SupportGroup, 1in6 and RAINN hope to expand the service to reach even more male survivors.

Men can access the Peer SupportGroup during 90-minute sessions every Tuesday and Wednesday. These sessions are currently limited to 12 users per group to ensure that each participant receives the attention and security they deserve. Visit 1in6.org to learn more.

About RAINN

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization and was named one of "America's 100 Best Charities" by Worth magazine. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org) in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country and operates the DoD Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense. In 2015, the Online Hotline expanded to offer services in Spanish at rainn.org/es. The hotlines have helped more than two million people since 1994. RAINN also carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. For more information about RAINN, please visit rainn.org.

About 1in6
1in6 is a nonprofit organization that offers support and resources for men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood. The mission of 1in6 is to help these men live healthier, happier lives. Our mission also includes serving family members, friends, and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community. For more information, please visit 1in6.org.

Survivor Spotlight: Suicide Prevention

sadmin — Fri, 25 Sep 2015 00:00:00 +0000

Survivor Spotlight

In the spring of 1976, the older brother of a classmate took Michael Carnes’ bike. Michael was 9 years old at the time, and needed the bike to get back home. At first, the older boy refused to return it, but eventually agreed to let Michael hop on so he could give him a ride home. The boy rode to a bridge behind the local swimming pool and sexually assaulted Michael.

The memory of the assault has impacted Michael’s life in a number of ways over the past 40 years. “I have great days and horrible days, and it’s something I’m sure I’ll deal with for the rest of my life,” he says. More difficult days brought darker thoughts of suicide. Michael says he came close to committing suicide at three points in his adult life.

During National Suicide Prevention Week (September 7-13), Michael opened up about his experience and the messages of hope that got him through. “The first thing you need to understand, and this can’t be overstated enough, is that you are not alone.” He understands how experiencing a sexual assault can feel lonely or isolating, but wants all survivors to know that others have also gone through this, and that opening up and confiding can help. “If suicide seems the only way out, find counseling or contact an organization, like RAINN, and talk to somebody about what you’re going through. Someone who understands will listen to what you’re feeling and what you’ve been through.”

Managing the effects of sexual assault can be difficult for anyone. For male survivors, there can be some unique challenges that are specific to their experiences. “I think the biggest challenge a male survivor has to deal with is the ‘tough guy’ mentality that we grow up with,” said Michael. He found support by talking to other male survivors, who also share concerns about inadequacy and frustration with themselves. “It’s something we all seem to have to address in our own minds, how we were unable, as males, to defend ourselves and having to overcome those feelings of inadequacy,” Michael said.

Michael has written extensively about his experience, both in newspaper columns and in a self-published book released in 2012 titled, “Call Me A Survivor.” He said that getting the word out and helping others is his main goal for the book, and to that end, he also gives talks and shares his story at area schools and community organizations. He’d like every survivor of sexual violence to know, “Even though you have suffered, you are still loved and treasured, and suicide is not a part of the plan.”

Read more about Michael on his website, and find more information for male survivors of sexual violence here and at 1in6.org.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available at (800) 273-TALK. Get help and info from RAINN about suicidal thoughts here.

If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, it’s not your fault. You are not alone. Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE and online.rainn.org, y en español: rainn.org/es.

Survivor Spotlight: Mental Health Awareness

sadmin — Thu, 21 May 2015 00:00:00 +0000

Survivor Spotlight

“I didn’t understand why or how this was happening to me, and I no longer had control of my body or thoughts. I thought I was going to die, and I just knew I was really sick with something bad.”

This is David Moody’s description of experiencing his first panic attack. He didn’t know it at the time, but these attacks were symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) brought on by memories of sexual abuse that happened when he was young. When David was 36, he found out that someone close to him had also been sexually abused; this news stirred up his own memories, which for so long he had never spoken about or confronted. “I was like a pressure cooker that had a valve released. I didn’t know how tight I had been wound up until I said the words out loud, ‘I was sexually abused by a male babysitter.’”

Survivors of sexual abuse and assault are three times more likely to suffer from depression, and six times more likely to suffer from PTSD. After experiencing a few more frightening panic attacks, David eventually found the help he needed from a therapist. He also created a blog and says that writing and speaking out about his past has helped him immensely. “Once I started writing online and really allowed myself to express the impact of the sexual abuse, it was like my eyes were opened and my senses were clicking on all cylinders,” he says.

David enjoys photography, too, and says, “I love sharing my pictures because I want others to feel and share the newfound joy I have inside. I feel free.” He has also been serving at Harvard as a Fellow in the Advanced Leadership Initiative, where he’s developing a project to help survivors of sexual abuse.

For others who may be dealing with panic attacks or struggling with PTSD, David wants to let them know they’re not alone: “Get through the fear, and find the help you need to start on your journey of healing,” he says. “Dream big, and know you can have an awesome life full of joy and love.” To friends and family of survivors, David wants to say, “Don’t try to force someone to talk about it until they are ready. Be patient and just love them.”

May is National Mental Health Month. To learn more about PTSD, including how you can get help, visit the National Alliance for Mental Health’s website, and find more resources at RAINN.org. If you are a male survivor of child sexual abuse, visit 1in6.org.