Wiping clean a loss ipad that does not show up on my icloud list of devices

If Find My was not enabled, there is no way to "wipe the device clean from home." Find My is the only mechanism that lets you mark a lost iPhone or iPad as Lost, and request a remote Erase. No Find My, no remote Erase.

If the iPad was locked with a passcode when you lost it, and whomever found it did not know the passcode (or get it from you through a "phishing" expedition), that might be enough to keep them from getting to your data … even if they could reset/erase the iPad to "make your iPad their own."

If you did not have Find My enabled on the iPad when you lost it, it is too late to turn on Find My now.