Nice Girls Don’t Ask

Women negotiate less than men—and everyone pays the price.

by

and

Deborah Small

by

and

Deborah Small

From the Magazine (October 2003)

Summary.

Reprint: F0310A

Managers who pride themselves on giving employees what they request may be shortchanging women, simply because men ask for a lot more than women do. This can be costly for companies, and it requires management intervention.

Men and women are still treated unequally in the workplace. Women continue to earn less, on average, for the same performance, and they remain underrepresented in top jobs. Research has shown that both conscious and subconscious biases contribute to this problem. But we’ve discovered another, subtler source of inequality: Women often don’t get what they want and deserve because they don’t ask for it. In three separate studies, we found that men are more likely than women to negotiate for what they want. This can be costly for companies—and it requires management intervention.

A version of this article appeared in the October 2003 issue of Harvard Business Review.

Linda Babcock is a professor of economics at Carnegie Mellon University. She is the author of Women Don’t Ask and Ask for It. A behavioral economist, she is the founder and director of PROGRESS, which pursues positive social change for women and girls through education, partnerships, and research.
SL

Sara Laschever is a writer specializing in women’s life and career obstacles. Their book, Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide, is being published this month by Princeton University Press.
MG

Michele Gelfand is a Distinguished University Professor at the University of Maryland and the author of Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: How Tight and Loose Cultures Wire Our World (2018, Scribner).
DS

Deborah Small is a PhD candidate in Carnegie Mellon’s Department of Social and Decision Sciences.

Nice Girls Don’t Ask

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